Saturday on the Homestead March 18, 2016

Right now, all of our free time is spent clearing trees and hauling limbs off of our new property.  For any who didn't get to read about it, we have purchased 18.5 acres not far from our current location.  There was an old trailer on it that we have torn down except for the steel frame, which we are keeping to build on hopefully next spring.

There are too many large trees surrounding the frame,  so we need to remove the future danger of them crashing on our house.  So far, we have been snowed on, sleeted on, rained on, and now we get to enjoy tick season while we work. (Not)

I have drawn to scale on graph paper the layout of our future tiny house (684 square feet). I have all the furniture we are keeping measured and situated in place on our graph  I also color coded the flooring type for each room.  I have a list of what we will need to buy, like windows , doors, and bathroom fixtures, so I can try to find some of it at the Re-store in town.

In deference to my limited energy and time, we have turned  the gardening at home over to Jessie for the season.  I'm sure I will still preserve the harvest, but she will be taking care of the rest.

I guess that's it for now.  Til next time.  Be blessed.
Debbie

Married? This Post is for You

For several years now, God has given me a burden for marriages.  More specifically, He compels me to post articles and to also blog about things that pertain to making marriages better. There are times I can't relax or think about anything else until I have shared what I feel Him telling me .  So if I seem obsessive, or compulsive, at times with my posts, that is the reason why.    I can't rest with a peaceful conscience until I listen.

We all know that marriages are failing daily.  As an "older" woman now, I am instructed in the Bible to encourage women to submit to their husbands, make their houses into homes, and love and train their children.  I take this command very seriously, and I pray that more older women rise to the challenge as well. 

For the past couple of weeks now, I have been praying faithfully for all of my Facebook friends who are married.  There are those who mock Facebook, and there is undoubtedly much to mock, but there is a real community on there as well, people who are hurting and who look for answers nowhere else but there.  I know that with as many FB friends as I have, there must be many hurting, and even some failing, marriages.  I care and want to help you, because with over 25 years of marriage, I have experienced many things, including being on the brink of separation.

In fact, there isn't too much we haven't experienced, some things I am not at liberty to be specific about yet, but you can take me at my word.   It takes a lot of dedication, prayer, determination and forgiveness to make a marriage successful.  I think a good first step is to completely and irrevocably remove the word DIVORCE from both of your vocabularies.
 
When divorce remains an option, couples tend to not be willing to do the hard things to make it work.  There are seasons of marriage when hard work to make it work is all that is happening.  But the eventual intimacy and love that develop because of  hard work are SO worth it.  Not only that, you can also assure yourself during the process that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side, and it is also not greener to be alone.

I am going to make this into several posts to share a few things I have learned in my journey of marriage.  But I wanted to start out by letting you know I have been praying for your marriage.

Some of the things I have been praying for you and your spouse:

- that you will have a determination to make your marriage work, regardless of what it takes.

- that if any pornography is being viewed by either side, or together, that the offender will be convicted to stop immediately (this is a death sentence to intimacy, trust and sexual ability)

- that wives will be willing to submit and let their husbands be the head of their households in every way

-  that husbands (and wives) will be faithful and monogamous with their thoughts and eyes daily and in every form of media and in real life and with their actions as well

- that wives would stop every form of emotional or sexual manipulation they may be using against their husbands (to include the silent treatment, sexual withholding, eye rolling, huffing or sarcastic remarks, bribing)

There are other things as well that I will get into in future posts, but that is plenty to think about for now.  If you have specific prayer requests for your marriage, you can message me and be assured that it will go no further than myself.  I love you guys, and I desire fervently for all of your marriages to be glorious.  I also believe that every single one can be glorious eventually with hard work, prayer and God's guiding hand.

I sincerely hope that you will be willing, along with your spouse, or despite your spouse, if necessary for the moment, to do whatever it takes to prosper your marriage.

Jeff and I have made it through a lot of things, and some of it has been very ugly.  At times, it has seemed that quitting would be easier than working it out, and no doubt it would have been the easy way out.  But I will always be thankful that we stuck it out, worked it out, prayed it out, and loved it out.  Our intimacy has never been sweeter because of it.  I hope this gives someone hope.

For now,
Debbie

Our Big News

Good morning!  It is a COLD one here in Tennessee, and we remain thankful for our warm wood stove.  We have had some big news to share for a couple of months now.

To recap our current living situation, we moved from the city where we had been for over 20 years in a house we had purchased .  Jeff had desired to move to the country for years, and at the time,  I was quite content to be a city girl.

My mother-in-law thought she was getting dementia, so she moved from her old home to several miles away with her daughter, Angie- Jeff's sister.  This left her house unoccupied, so we sold our house and moved to her house in the country.

We have lived here about 5 years now, and due to circumstances beyond our control, have had to look into doing something else.  We had the option of putting a small home of some kind somewhere else here where we are, but after consideration, Jeff decided we needed to look elsewhere for something, either unfinished property, or a small home with a few acres.

The acreage was more important to him, so near the holidays, we ended up focusing on bare land.  After many false starts, we found a place only about 7 miles from where we are now.

It is 18.5 acres, and it has an old trailer on it that we are currently tearing down.   It is completely wooded, except for around a 1/2 acre.  It sits up on a hill, and our driveway is VERY steep.  Once we clear the part towards the road, an acre or so will be cleared.

It is going to be so beautiful when we are done.  God has blessed us , and we are thankful.  We don't know yet what we will do as far as a home goes, but I will share the stages my thinking has gone through in the last few months.

First, I knew I didn't want the stress of building.  I said we were too old for all that malarkey.  Then, we decided to put a manufactured home on it.  We looked at them, and some are really nice.  In the last few days however, God has put a verse in my heart that I want to share.

"Be content with the things that you have...".   As I pondered this message, I came to the following conclusions:

                            1.   This world is not our permanent home, so we
                                 really don't NEED anything fancy or expensive

                            2.  I don't want to put my husband in debt for
                                 years to come.

                            3.  We won't have the kids at home too much
                                 longer, and two people do not need much
                                 room.

So, in light of that, we are going to use the frame on the trailer we are tearing down, and are going to build something small on it.  We already have cabinets, tubs, appliances, etc that we purchased for this house, which is another good reason not to waste money on a manufactured home that comes with all that stuff.  We may even do something redneck like attach our camper to it as well.

Who knows?  But I am greatly relieved and excited that God has changed this city girl's heart enough that I can be happy with this choice and not put us under the bondage of more debt.

I'll post pictures soon of our progress.  Oh, and since it doesn't have a spring on the property, I will be changing the name of my blog once we move.  Something with "acres, woods, or hill (s)" probably.  If you have suggestions, tell me in the comments.

Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs

Saturday on the Homestead, January 23, 2016

It has been quite a long while since I have written, due in part to trouble with my laptop.  I have a lot to say, so I am glad to be writing again.

Our family has had a heck of a year.  Some things I don't want to share at this time, but one thing I don't mind sharing is the sickness and death of my mother.  Losing her changed the dynamics of our whole family, and it has been a big adjustment.  Her death precipitated the change of my dad moving into an assisted living home, so at times it has felt like our family was adrift at sea with no land in sight.

All of these things, mentioned and unmentioned, have ultimately served to draw us closer to God and to each other.  It was either that or let it all fall apart, which has never been an option for me. 

We have some big changes on the horizon within the next eighteen months, which I will elaborate on more when I know more, but suffice it to say that God continues to work on my dislike of change.

I just wanted to give a quick update on what is going on with us.  Like most of you, we are riding out the latest snowstorm and hoping things thaw out soon because we have a lot to do.  

Our laying hens are all on strike, as we haven't seen an egg in almost 2 months.  We have over 15 hens of varying ages, so it is quite baffling.  We may be filling our freezer with chicken soon.

We have 2 lemon trees residing in our living room loaded with slowly ripening lemons.  I can't wait to try them.

I guess that's it for today.  I appreciate everyone who keeps up with my family.

Debbie, enjoying staying Home at Serenity Springs

A Living Tribute to My Mother

My mother is thankfully still alive, and I want to remember her life now instead of waiting until she passes on.  I want to start my tribute to my mother with the reality of her life right now, and then digress to the past to show how it used to be.  My mother is currently 77 years old.  She was 34 when she had me, the "surprise baby", the last of 4.  She has COPD, a progressive lung disease that is incurable.  She wears oxygen through a cannula in her nose all of the time.  Because of her disease, she gets out of breath easily, and therefore doesn't get out of bed much anymore.  She takes what seems to me to be tons of prescriptions, supplements, and over-the-counter medicines and no longer participates in any of the hobbies she once had.

Our biggest goal right now is keeping her as healthy as possible so that she doesn't contract pneumonia again and end up in the hospital (again).  She also has diabetes and heart problems.  It makes me sad that the active mother of my memories doesn't seem to exist anymore.  Thankfully, she still has her mental faculties, and enough resident stubbornness to remind me of days of old.  I have begun to love engaging her in conversations about the past and the things she can remember clearly.  I have recorded some of those memories in a notebook, which I have no doubt I will highly treasure someday.

My older sister, Linda, lives with my mother and father and works hard taking care of them.  Just this past year, my dad's health and abilities have declined after having a stroke, so her work load has doubled as caretaker.  She provides them all of their meals and snacks, and takes care of all of their personal needs.  It's a great comfort that someone in the family can be their caretaker.  My siblings and I try to help out as much as we can, but the vast majority of the responsibility falls on her very capable shoulders.  We are all thankful for her.

As many of you know, it is HARD to watch your parents age and fall apart.  When I think of how they used to be, it makes me so sad.  It's a reminder to really enjoy our parents and family members while we still have them; to realize how important family is, and to believe that they are worth our time, energy, and financial investment.  No, they aren't perfect, and yes they can aggravate you to death, that's for certain, but that doesn't negate the fact that they are our parents, and we should help them any way we can.

I was the youngest of four children.  My closest sibling (Linda) was 8 years older than me, so I didn't really have them as playmates growing up.  I remember playing Monopoly and Payday all by myself. I don't think my children completely realize how blessed they were to have built in playmates, because it could definitely be a lonely life at times.  I remember demanding that my mother dye her prematurely graying hair because she was older than most of the other mothers in my kindergarten class.  What a rotten kid I could be.  It didn't stop her from occasionally making cupcakes and bringing them to my class.

Before I could drive, I HATED riding the bus (introvert to the max), and she would take me to school and pick me up each day.  I bet she was so glad when I got my driver's license!  I did various things through the years like piano, voice, karate, softball and basketball, and she was faithful to take me to all of my classes and games.

My grandmother (my father's mother) lived with us until she died.  I was married and four months pregnant with my oldest at the time.  I have always been so sad that she didn't get to meet my children, but I am glad that they will meet in Heaven someday.   I loved having my Granny in our home growing up, but I never really considered until recently how hard it probably was at times for my mother to have her mother-in-law living with her for the majority of her marriage.

Even though my grandmother was usually kind and not terribly interfering like some mothers and mothers-in-law can be, I imagine it was still challenging at times to have her living there.  And that woman being your husband's mother, who has a natural predisposition toward her son, would rub anyone the wrong way at times.  However, I don't remember a lot of drama over this issue growing up.  I give my mom many kudos for that!  How many of us could successfully live full-time with our mothers-in-law?

My grandmother was a big help around the house while my mother ran the family moving company. 
I suspect any negative feelings my mother may have had about having her mother-in-law living with her were overridden with the comfort of knowing we were being well-cared for while she worked.

When my mother wasn't running the family business, she was cleaning or working outside in her flower beds.  I think gardening was how she relieved her stress from working at the office.  Her yard bloomed and developed over the years under her care until they resembled something out of a magazine.  Today, my sister Linda maintains all of the yard work, and although I am glad she enjoys it as well, I still get sad when I remember my mama puttering outside in her flowerbeds. She enjoyed them SO much.

She also grew a small vegetable garden every year, and preserved her extra harvest every year by canning.  She taught me everything she knew about this, and I am thankful for that knowledge as I "can" my vegetables every year.  My mother and my grandmother both cooked us full, homemade meals all of the time.  They were both excellent cooks and bakers.  Fried chicken, pork chops, baked hams and turkeys, mashed potatoes, green beans and the like filled my meals as a child.  We rarely ate out like so many families do today for meals.  My mother had to buy two carts of groceries when most of the kids were still at home.  I don't remember ever having a frozen dinner (except for pizza when I was a teenager) growing up.  What a blessing.

When I was a younger child, my mother and father enjoyed playing cards with their friends.  They would have them over for games of pinochle and I would  "hide" under the table while they played, listening to all of the grown up conversations.  I like cards as well, but I have NO idea how to play pinochle or what the point of the game is.

Their love for getting together with friends seem to wane as I entered my teenage years, and the stresses of life and marriage started to intrude.  I miss those younger days, and I dearly wish my mother and father would sit down at the table for a game of cards again with friends.  I can hear my mother's unique cackling laughter in my head, and it always make me smile when I think about it.

Until I was almost grown, we had a lake property about 45 miles from our house.  During the warmer months, we went there quite often.  My mother often seemed to have a hard time relaxing, and even while at our lake property, I can remember her puttering with her roses and flowers, and cleaning and organizing her kitchen and the rest of the house.  She took care of her siblings growing up, like their second mother, so she had an ingrained sense of maturity and responsibility that she had a hard time letting go of to have fun.

My other grandmother (her mother, Mary) lived within a couple miles of our house, and my mom would go over and clean and organize for her quite often.  My grandmother was crippled from a serious car accident.  When I picture my mother of my younger days, cleaning is most often what comes to mind.  She was a compulsive cleaner and somewhat germophobic..  I like things to be organized and orderly, but I can tolerate imperfection with cleanliness more than she can.  My other two sisters are more like her in this area, but they don't have four children, two grandchildren and three dogs!

During my first few years of marriage, I would take particularly tough stained laundry to my mother, and she always got them clean for me.  She never seemed to mind; in fact, she seemed to delight in my trust in her knowledge and skill.  I eventually learned to take care of these things on my own, but her help during my time of need was invaluable.  However, I didn't call her for instructions on how to boil water like one of my sisters did.  Hahaha, I told on you!

My mother helped finance some of the repairs on our first house during those early years, and she often helped out in that way when times were tight.  Not only my husband and I, but other family and extended family members as well were on the receiving end of her generosity.

Before I felt convicted to stay at home with my children, I was attending college and working, and my mother was watching my oldest daughter for me.  She often took her on shopping trips to buy new outfits or treats, and to ride the horse carousel at K-mart.  She always had a wallet full of quarters just for that purpose.  Needless to say, Alix loved her Maw-Maw.

She also cared for Jessie for just a bit when she was a baby while I worked.  My children were well cared for and I never worried about them while she had them.  In a way I broke her heart when God called me to stay home with my children because she was so attached to them, especially my oldest because she kept her longer.  She didn't get to see them nearly as much once I started staying at home. 

I never completely understood how she must have felt until Alix, my oldest daughter, and her husband moved off our property where they had been living for a year.  I had spent large amounts of time helping to care for and feed my grandson, and became quite attached to him.  When they moved to their own place and I didn't get to see him every day, it broke my heart a little (a lot).  So, now I understand exactly what my mother went through when I stopped bringing them to her house to care for them.  You understand that your children have to live their own lives and make their own decisions, but that doesn't change the effect on your heart at times.

My mother miscarried several babies, once having to ride in a sleigh through snow in North Dakota while heavily bleeding to a neighbor's house, so she could get into a truck to go to the hospital.  So the fact that she ended up with four live children is to me a testament of her perseverance and desire to have a family.   She loved to twirl up her girls' hair as infants, and as soon as my children had as much as a wee sprig, she would twirl it up on top of their heads.

She worked hard raising four children and simultaneously running a moving company almost by herself.  She was an excellent speller, and  would do computations in the air with her pointer finger.  Now she can barely sign her name legibly, and it makes me sad.  Thank goodness for the hope of Heaven and the joy of eternal bodies that don't age or die!

I feel like I'm leaving tons of information out about my mother, but I think this post is long enough.  I am glad that I had a chance to reminisce about her younger and healthier days, and share that with you.  I love my mother so much, and I hope the Lord gives her many more years before He calls her home.

If you would like to leave a memory that you have of my mother, please leave a comment, and it can add to the testimony of her life. 

Blessings,
Debbie,

Saturday on the Homestead, November 15, 2015

For some reason, it has been hard for me to get back into writing as much as I used to.  Since moving to the country, I have stayed busy, so I can't blame it on being busier than normal.  I guess it is probably just a season of inactive writing.  It certainly isn't because I don't have anything to say, or lack of opinions on things.   That's a big "LOL" to anyone who really knows me! 

We are going to have a relaxed morning at home before jumping in to a little more productiveness.  Jeff has a couple of honey-dos:  tuning up our green Dodge that Jessie is driving, fixing a breezy window up in Amber's room, and shooting guns with Jessie.

Hopefully around 2:30 we will have a little time to listen to the 'Bama game, as we are developing an appreciation for college football this year. 

Jessie has been going deer hunting, but hasn't gotten one yet.  Amber is busy making waffles for breakfast, and Joshua will be working on putting gravel in the cellar.  I have some painting to do, laundry (always) to get off the line, supper to make, and reading to do!

Jeff has some experiments going on in his greenhouse, since this is our first winter to use it.  He actually has some green beans flowering, some pak choi doing REALLY well and it is so yummy, and a volunteer tomato plant still tall and strong, but with no blooms.  We bought a wireless thermometer so we can keep an eye on the temperature in there.  He still has some insulating to do to block some of the drafts we missed this summer, but it is still heating up well during the day.

Next Sunday we are celebrating Amber's 16th birthday.  What?!  My babies are growing up, and it is a bittersweet time.  If I write a post next week, it will be dedicated to her. 

I hope everyone has a blessed day and weekend!

Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs

Saturday on the Homestead (on Sunday) : September 28, 2014

It has been quite awhile since I have blogged, hasn't it?  I guess I just needed a break from writing, although I have several things I want to write about.  There is never a lack of action around the homestead, and we have been quite busy all season long.

Our flock of ducks has been greatly reduced due to illness, which makes me sad, as my favorite duck "Joe" was one of the victims.  I miss that friendly guy.  I think his mate has been quite lonely since he's been gone.  Out of 13, we have 1 goose and 5 ducks left.  It's a bummer.

I have been canning quite a bit this year.  I have canned a bunch of medium to hot salsa, pickled peppers, tomato sauce, green beans, and some squash.  Some people say you aren't supposed to can squash, but I have canned it for over 20 years and have never had a problem.  We seem to do well growing beans, and usually continue to harvest them until first frost.  I don't think I am going to work up any apples this year as we have several jars of apples and applesauce left. 

Jessie has had a busy summer of work of various kinds, and has been gone quite often.  I miss her but I am thankful for the opportunities God provided for extra money.   Amber and Josh school all year, so we didn't have any dramatic back to school issues.  We did take one week off recently, because I needed a break from correcting work to catch up on some other things.  I have revamped Amber and Josh's school schedule to reflect the challenge of high school work.  They stay VERY BUSY during the school week with their school work and chores.  I have seen some maturing already from this new way of doing things.

We recently got back from the Shindig in North Carolina. I will be writing a post on the excellent teaching Michael Pearl gave on the Science of Addiction, so you can be looking for that.  I don't plan to go quite as deep into the scientific detail as he did, but I will cover it enough to get the important points.

Today, we are going to eat my famous chip dip while we listen to football on the Sirius, and later we are going to grill and have a nice meal together.  This morning, we had an excellent discussion on our position in Christ and how that alone helps us to overcome temptation and allow us to walk in obedience.  Amber shared some insights from Romans 14 she gleaned as she has been studying that book.  I love to fellowship with my children and my husband.  There is nothing like it!

I could say so much more since it's been so long but I will save some for next time.

Sincerely,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs