My mother is thankfully still alive, and I want to remember her life now instead of waiting until she passes on. I want to start my tribute to my mother with the reality of her life right now, and then digress to the past to show how it used to be. My mother is currently 77 years old. She was 34 when she had me, the "surprise baby", the last of 4. She has COPD, a progressive lung disease that is incurable. She wears oxygen through a cannula in her nose all of the time. Because of her disease, she gets out of breath easily, and therefore doesn't get out of bed much anymore. She takes what seems to me to be tons of prescriptions, supplements, and over-the-counter medicines and no longer participates in any of the hobbies she once had.
Our biggest goal right now is keeping her as healthy as possible so that she doesn't contract pneumonia again and end up in the hospital (again). She also has diabetes and heart problems. It makes me sad that the active mother of my memories doesn't seem to exist anymore. Thankfully, she still has her mental faculties, and enough resident stubbornness to remind me of days of old. I have begun to love engaging her in conversations about the past and the things she can remember clearly. I have recorded some of those memories in a notebook, which I have no doubt I will highly treasure someday.
My older sister, Linda, lives with my mother and father and works hard taking care of them. Just this past year, my dad's health and abilities have declined after having a stroke, so her work load has doubled as caretaker. She provides them all of their meals and snacks, and takes care of all of their personal needs. It's a great comfort that someone in the family can be their caretaker. My siblings and I try to help out as much as we can, but the vast majority of the responsibility falls on her very capable shoulders. We are all thankful for her.
As many of you know, it is HARD to watch your parents age and fall apart. When I think of how they used to be, it makes me so sad. It's a reminder to really enjoy our parents and family members while we still have them; to realize how important family is, and to believe that they are worth our time, energy, and financial investment. No, they aren't perfect, and yes they can aggravate you to death, that's for certain, but that doesn't negate the fact that they are our parents, and we should help them any way we can.
I was the youngest of four children. My closest sibling (Linda) was 8 years older than me, so I didn't really have them as playmates growing up. I remember playing Monopoly and Payday all by myself. I don't think my children completely realize how blessed they were to have built in playmates, because it could definitely be a lonely life at times. I remember demanding that my mother dye her prematurely graying hair because she was older than most of the other mothers in my kindergarten class. What a rotten kid I could be. It didn't stop her from occasionally making cupcakes and bringing them to my class.
Before I could drive, I HATED riding the bus (introvert to the max), and she would take me to school and pick me up each day. I bet she was so glad when I got my driver's license! I did various things through the years like piano, voice, karate, softball and basketball, and she was faithful to take me to all of my classes and games.
My grandmother (my father's mother) lived with us until she died. I was married and four months pregnant with my oldest at the time. I have always been so sad that she didn't get to meet my children, but I am glad that they will meet in Heaven someday. I loved having my Granny in our home growing up, but I never really considered until recently how hard it probably was at times for my mother to have her mother-in-law living with her for the majority of her marriage.
Even though my grandmother was usually kind and not terribly interfering like some mothers and mothers-in-law can be, I imagine it was still challenging at times to have her living there. And that woman being your husband's mother, who has a natural predisposition toward her son, would rub anyone the wrong way at times. However, I don't remember a lot of drama over this issue growing up. I give my mom many kudos for that! How many of us could successfully live full-time with our mothers-in-law?
My grandmother was a big help around the house while my mother ran the family moving company.
I suspect any negative feelings my mother may have had about having her mother-in-law living with her were overridden with the comfort of knowing we were being well-cared for while she worked.
When my mother wasn't running the family business, she was cleaning or working outside in her flower beds. I think gardening was how she relieved her stress from working at the office. Her yard bloomed and developed over the years under her care until they resembled something out of a magazine. Today, my sister Linda maintains all of the yard work, and although I am glad she enjoys it as well, I still get sad when I remember my mama puttering outside in her flowerbeds. She enjoyed them SO much.
She also grew a small vegetable garden every year, and preserved her extra harvest every year by canning. She taught me everything she knew about this, and I am thankful for that knowledge as I "can" my vegetables every year. My mother and my grandmother both cooked us full, homemade meals all of the time. They were both excellent cooks and bakers. Fried chicken, pork chops, baked hams and turkeys, mashed potatoes, green beans and the like filled my meals as a child. We rarely ate out like so many families do today for meals. My mother had to buy two carts of groceries when most of the kids were still at home. I don't remember ever having a frozen dinner (except for pizza when I was a teenager) growing up. What a blessing.
When I was a younger child, my mother and father enjoyed playing cards with their friends. They would have them over for games of pinochle and I would "hide" under the table while they played, listening to all of the grown up conversations. I like cards as well, but I have NO idea how to play pinochle or what the point of the game is.
Their love for getting together with friends seem to wane as I entered my teenage years, and the stresses of life and marriage started to intrude. I miss those younger days, and I dearly wish my mother and father would sit down at the table for a game of cards again with friends. I can hear my mother's unique cackling laughter in my head, and it always make me smile when I think about it.
Until I was almost grown, we had a lake property about 45 miles from our house. During the warmer months, we went there quite often. My mother often seemed to have a hard time relaxing, and even while at our lake property, I can remember her puttering with her roses and flowers, and cleaning and organizing her kitchen and the rest of the house. She took care of her siblings growing up, like their second mother, so she had an ingrained sense of maturity and responsibility that she had a hard time letting go of to have fun.
My other grandmother (her mother, Mary) lived within a couple miles of our house, and my mom would go over and clean and organize for her quite often. My grandmother was crippled from a serious car accident. When I picture my mother of my younger days, cleaning is most often what comes to mind. She was a compulsive cleaner and somewhat germophobic.. I like things to be organized and orderly, but I can tolerate imperfection with cleanliness more than she can. My other two sisters are more like her in this area, but they don't have four children, two grandchildren and three dogs!
During my first few years of marriage, I would take particularly tough stained laundry to my mother, and she always got them clean for me. She never seemed to mind; in fact, she seemed to delight in my trust in her knowledge and skill. I eventually learned to take care of these things on my own, but her help during my time of need was invaluable. However, I didn't call her for instructions on how to boil water like one of my sisters did. Hahaha, I told on you!
My mother helped finance some of the repairs on our first house during those early years, and she often helped out in that way when times were tight. Not only my husband and I, but other family and extended family members as well were on the receiving end of her generosity.
Before I felt convicted to stay at home with my children, I was attending college and working, and my mother was watching my oldest daughter for me. She often took her on shopping trips to buy new outfits or treats, and to ride the horse carousel at K-mart. She always had a wallet full of quarters just for that purpose. Needless to say, Alix loved her Maw-Maw.
She also cared for Jessie for just a bit when she was a baby while I worked. My children were well cared for and I never worried about them while she had them. In a way I broke her heart when God called me to stay home with my children because she was so attached to them, especially my oldest because she kept her longer. She didn't get to see them nearly as much once I started staying at home.
I never completely understood how she must have felt until Alix, my oldest daughter, and her husband moved off our property where they had been living for a year. I had spent large amounts of time helping to care for and feed my grandson, and became quite attached to him. When they moved to their own place and I didn't get to see him every day, it broke my heart a little (a lot). So, now I understand exactly what my mother went through when I stopped bringing them to her house to care for them. You understand that your children have to live their own lives and make their own decisions, but that doesn't change the effect on your heart at times.
My mother miscarried several babies, once having to ride in a sleigh through snow in North Dakota while heavily bleeding to a neighbor's house, so she could get into a truck to go to the hospital. So the fact that she ended up with four live children is to me a testament of her perseverance and desire to have a family. She loved to twirl up her girls' hair as infants, and as soon as my children had as much as a wee sprig, she would twirl it up on top of their heads.
She worked hard raising four children and simultaneously running a moving company almost by herself. She was an excellent speller, and would do computations in the air with her pointer finger. Now she can barely sign her name legibly, and it makes me sad. Thank goodness for the hope of Heaven and the joy of eternal bodies that don't age or die!
I feel like I'm leaving tons of information out about my mother, but I think this post is long enough. I am glad that I had a chance to reminisce about her younger and healthier days, and share that with you. I love my mother so much, and I hope the Lord gives her many more years before He calls her home.
If you would like to leave a memory that you have of my mother, please leave a comment, and it can add to the testimony of her life.
Blessings,
Debbie,
Life as the mother of four children and four grandchildren. Homeschooling the two still at home. Things that interest me - reading, herbs and essential oils, gardening, natural chemical-free living, and continually learning how to be a better wife.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Saturday on the Homestead, November 15, 2015
For some reason, it has been hard for me to get back into writing as much as I used to. Since moving to the country, I have stayed busy, so I can't blame it on being busier than normal. I guess it is probably just a season of inactive writing. It certainly isn't because I don't have anything to say, or lack of opinions on things. That's a big "LOL" to anyone who really knows me!
We are going to have a relaxed morning at home before jumping in to a little more productiveness. Jeff has a couple of honey-dos: tuning up our green Dodge that Jessie is driving, fixing a breezy window up in Amber's room, and shooting guns with Jessie.
Hopefully around 2:30 we will have a little time to listen to the 'Bama game, as we are developing an appreciation for college football this year.
Jessie has been going deer hunting, but hasn't gotten one yet. Amber is busy making waffles for breakfast, and Joshua will be working on putting gravel in the cellar. I have some painting to do, laundry (always) to get off the line, supper to make, and reading to do!
Jeff has some experiments going on in his greenhouse, since this is our first winter to use it. He actually has some green beans flowering, some pak choi doing REALLY well and it is so yummy, and a volunteer tomato plant still tall and strong, but with no blooms. We bought a wireless thermometer so we can keep an eye on the temperature in there. He still has some insulating to do to block some of the drafts we missed this summer, but it is still heating up well during the day.
Next Sunday we are celebrating Amber's 16th birthday. What?! My babies are growing up, and it is a bittersweet time. If I write a post next week, it will be dedicated to her.
I hope everyone has a blessed day and weekend!
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
We are going to have a relaxed morning at home before jumping in to a little more productiveness. Jeff has a couple of honey-dos: tuning up our green Dodge that Jessie is driving, fixing a breezy window up in Amber's room, and shooting guns with Jessie.
Hopefully around 2:30 we will have a little time to listen to the 'Bama game, as we are developing an appreciation for college football this year.
Jessie has been going deer hunting, but hasn't gotten one yet. Amber is busy making waffles for breakfast, and Joshua will be working on putting gravel in the cellar. I have some painting to do, laundry (always) to get off the line, supper to make, and reading to do!
Jeff has some experiments going on in his greenhouse, since this is our first winter to use it. He actually has some green beans flowering, some pak choi doing REALLY well and it is so yummy, and a volunteer tomato plant still tall and strong, but with no blooms. We bought a wireless thermometer so we can keep an eye on the temperature in there. He still has some insulating to do to block some of the drafts we missed this summer, but it is still heating up well during the day.
Next Sunday we are celebrating Amber's 16th birthday. What?! My babies are growing up, and it is a bittersweet time. If I write a post next week, it will be dedicated to her.
I hope everyone has a blessed day and weekend!
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Saturday on the Homestead (on Sunday) : September 28, 2014
It has been quite awhile since I have blogged, hasn't it? I guess I just needed a break from writing, although I have several things I want to write about. There is never a lack of action around the homestead, and we have been quite busy all season long.
Our flock of ducks has been greatly reduced due to illness, which makes me sad, as my favorite duck "Joe" was one of the victims. I miss that friendly guy. I think his mate has been quite lonely since he's been gone. Out of 13, we have 1 goose and 5 ducks left. It's a bummer.
I have been canning quite a bit this year. I have canned a bunch of medium to hot salsa, pickled peppers, tomato sauce, green beans, and some squash. Some people say you aren't supposed to can squash, but I have canned it for over 20 years and have never had a problem. We seem to do well growing beans, and usually continue to harvest them until first frost. I don't think I am going to work up any apples this year as we have several jars of apples and applesauce left.
Jessie has had a busy summer of work of various kinds, and has been gone quite often. I miss her but I am thankful for the opportunities God provided for extra money. Amber and Josh school all year, so we didn't have any dramatic back to school issues. We did take one week off recently, because I needed a break from correcting work to catch up on some other things. I have revamped Amber and Josh's school schedule to reflect the challenge of high school work. They stay VERY BUSY during the school week with their school work and chores. I have seen some maturing already from this new way of doing things.
We recently got back from the Shindig in North Carolina. I will be writing a post on the excellent teaching Michael Pearl gave on the Science of Addiction, so you can be looking for that. I don't plan to go quite as deep into the scientific detail as he did, but I will cover it enough to get the important points.
Today, we are going to eat my famous chip dip while we listen to football on the Sirius, and later we are going to grill and have a nice meal together. This morning, we had an excellent discussion on our position in Christ and how that alone helps us to overcome temptation and allow us to walk in obedience. Amber shared some insights from Romans 14 she gleaned as she has been studying that book. I love to fellowship with my children and my husband. There is nothing like it!
I could say so much more since it's been so long but I will save some for next time.
Sincerely,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Our flock of ducks has been greatly reduced due to illness, which makes me sad, as my favorite duck "Joe" was one of the victims. I miss that friendly guy. I think his mate has been quite lonely since he's been gone. Out of 13, we have 1 goose and 5 ducks left. It's a bummer.
I have been canning quite a bit this year. I have canned a bunch of medium to hot salsa, pickled peppers, tomato sauce, green beans, and some squash. Some people say you aren't supposed to can squash, but I have canned it for over 20 years and have never had a problem. We seem to do well growing beans, and usually continue to harvest them until first frost. I don't think I am going to work up any apples this year as we have several jars of apples and applesauce left.
Jessie has had a busy summer of work of various kinds, and has been gone quite often. I miss her but I am thankful for the opportunities God provided for extra money. Amber and Josh school all year, so we didn't have any dramatic back to school issues. We did take one week off recently, because I needed a break from correcting work to catch up on some other things. I have revamped Amber and Josh's school schedule to reflect the challenge of high school work. They stay VERY BUSY during the school week with their school work and chores. I have seen some maturing already from this new way of doing things.
We recently got back from the Shindig in North Carolina. I will be writing a post on the excellent teaching Michael Pearl gave on the Science of Addiction, so you can be looking for that. I don't plan to go quite as deep into the scientific detail as he did, but I will cover it enough to get the important points.
Today, we are going to eat my famous chip dip while we listen to football on the Sirius, and later we are going to grill and have a nice meal together. This morning, we had an excellent discussion on our position in Christ and how that alone helps us to overcome temptation and allow us to walk in obedience. Amber shared some insights from Romans 14 she gleaned as she has been studying that book. I love to fellowship with my children and my husband. There is nothing like it!
I could say so much more since it's been so long but I will save some for next time.
Sincerely,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Saturday on the Homestead: June 14, 2014
It's been awhile since I've felt like blogging. This spider bite wound has thrown me for a loop and gotten me out of my groove, so to speak. It has been 38! days since I was bitten by a brown recluse. I have an updated photo of the current progress, but I am going to hold off on discussing what we are doing for treatment because I am going to write a blog after it heals completely to hopefully help others who search for information on natural healing when they get bitten.
The wound is on the edge of my back, near my ribcage, and it makes excessive movement awkward and painful, so I have had to cut back on how long I work in the garden or elsewhere at one time. I can honestly say I have never had a wound quite so open and quite so deep before, and I hope to never have one again!
I have really appreciated the time that Jessie, Amber, and Jeff have given me in taking care of my wound for me. I can barely reach it, so if I were left to care for it on my own, it would definitely look a lot worse than it does. Honestly, after 38 days, it can be a little discouraging and wearying at times. There is not constant pain, but there is constant discomfort and occasional pain that can get tiring.
But on to more pleasant subjects! Our garden is doing well. Because some of my planting was delayed, we aren't getting any squash or cucumbers yet as some are, but we have harvested lots of salad greens including kale, swiss chard, endive, spinach, and lettuces. We have chives and parsley, and we have just harvested our garlic that we planted last fall. It has to cure for a few weeks, then we can store some of it in the root cellar. My kind brother-in-law, Alan, who lives on the property with us, has shared several of his squash and cucumbers with us already.
Our baby ducklings arrived at the end of May, along with Amber's two goslings, Precious Jewel and Hester Louise. Hester Louise is the boy, a fact I find highly amusing. The goslings have grown much quicker than the ducklings, towering over them as they spend the day together, but they are quite gentle.
We are having my grandson's 4th birthday party here next weekend. I am always glad for an opportunity for family to get together and celebrate something!
Jeff had to work for several hours today; he will be home around noon. My goals are to work for awhile weeding the garden and applying diatomaceous earth to some of my plants with a flour sifter. For garden tips, this one works very well. I also am going to clean out the closet in my living room (again!). Later, Jeff and I will be going to town to get Jessie's gun out of layaway and go on a wee date. Did I mention that I love that we love to date each other? It is highly underrated.
Jessie is still away in Alabama house sitting. Amber and Josh don't have any big projects to do today, so it will be a mostly free day for them. It is a beautiful day to spend outside.
I hope you all have a wonderfully blessed weekend.
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
The wound is on the edge of my back, near my ribcage, and it makes excessive movement awkward and painful, so I have had to cut back on how long I work in the garden or elsewhere at one time. I can honestly say I have never had a wound quite so open and quite so deep before, and I hope to never have one again!
I have really appreciated the time that Jessie, Amber, and Jeff have given me in taking care of my wound for me. I can barely reach it, so if I were left to care for it on my own, it would definitely look a lot worse than it does. Honestly, after 38 days, it can be a little discouraging and wearying at times. There is not constant pain, but there is constant discomfort and occasional pain that can get tiring.
But on to more pleasant subjects! Our garden is doing well. Because some of my planting was delayed, we aren't getting any squash or cucumbers yet as some are, but we have harvested lots of salad greens including kale, swiss chard, endive, spinach, and lettuces. We have chives and parsley, and we have just harvested our garlic that we planted last fall. It has to cure for a few weeks, then we can store some of it in the root cellar. My kind brother-in-law, Alan, who lives on the property with us, has shared several of his squash and cucumbers with us already.
Our baby ducklings arrived at the end of May, along with Amber's two goslings, Precious Jewel and Hester Louise. Hester Louise is the boy, a fact I find highly amusing. The goslings have grown much quicker than the ducklings, towering over them as they spend the day together, but they are quite gentle.
We are having my grandson's 4th birthday party here next weekend. I am always glad for an opportunity for family to get together and celebrate something!
Jeff had to work for several hours today; he will be home around noon. My goals are to work for awhile weeding the garden and applying diatomaceous earth to some of my plants with a flour sifter. For garden tips, this one works very well. I also am going to clean out the closet in my living room (again!). Later, Jeff and I will be going to town to get Jessie's gun out of layaway and go on a wee date. Did I mention that I love that we love to date each other? It is highly underrated.
Jessie is still away in Alabama house sitting. Amber and Josh don't have any big projects to do today, so it will be a mostly free day for them. It is a beautiful day to spend outside.
I hope you all have a wonderfully blessed weekend.
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Saturday on the Homestead, May 17, 2014
Day 10 of my brown recluse spider bite:
The affected area seems to have gotten a tiny bit smaller, as if healing may have begun. It is still an open sore, which is what forms after the expected blister breaks open. One thing I have learned is that these bites do not go away quickly, be they treated by doctors or at home naturally. Due to our faith in the power of essential oils and herbs to treat this particular ailment, I have elected to not have it treated by a physician. If at any time I felt like what we were doing wasn't working, I would go to the doctor as needed.
The good news is that it IS working; I have no apparent necrosis or infection. For those who doubted that God-provided herbs and oils are never as effective as going to the doctor, I am living proof that they are, if not even better at times. For those interested in our chosen plan of attack, we have been treating it with tea tree oil, lavender oil, oregano oil, and activated charcoal and wrapping me up with an ace bandage to hold another bandage in place. When Jeff is home, he treats it several times a day, and when he is at work, Amber treats it a couple of times a day. This path has been way less traumatic than having a doctor digging out dead flesh several times and taking massive doses of antibiotics and who knows what else.
The not so good part is that I have not been able to get very much done in my garden for the past week and a half, and I haven't been able to finish up tilling and planting my beds. To be honest, this has kept me fighting a dose of depression and feelings of uselessness. My children came to my rescue today and weeded the beds I haven't been able to plant, so at least they are looking better, which makes me feel better. Did I mention I love them and how they help out around here?!
Tonight, we are having spaghetti and homemade sauce that has been cooking in the crockpot all day, along with the Greek salad we love, to go with our family movie night watching Courageous. We love that movie. I hope you all have a marvelous and blessed rest of the weekend.
and Friday night date night with the love of my life.....
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
The affected area seems to have gotten a tiny bit smaller, as if healing may have begun. It is still an open sore, which is what forms after the expected blister breaks open. One thing I have learned is that these bites do not go away quickly, be they treated by doctors or at home naturally. Due to our faith in the power of essential oils and herbs to treat this particular ailment, I have elected to not have it treated by a physician. If at any time I felt like what we were doing wasn't working, I would go to the doctor as needed.
The good news is that it IS working; I have no apparent necrosis or infection. For those who doubted that God-provided herbs and oils are never as effective as going to the doctor, I am living proof that they are, if not even better at times. For those interested in our chosen plan of attack, we have been treating it with tea tree oil, lavender oil, oregano oil, and activated charcoal and wrapping me up with an ace bandage to hold another bandage in place. When Jeff is home, he treats it several times a day, and when he is at work, Amber treats it a couple of times a day. This path has been way less traumatic than having a doctor digging out dead flesh several times and taking massive doses of antibiotics and who knows what else.
The not so good part is that I have not been able to get very much done in my garden for the past week and a half, and I haven't been able to finish up tilling and planting my beds. To be honest, this has kept me fighting a dose of depression and feelings of uselessness. My children came to my rescue today and weeded the beds I haven't been able to plant, so at least they are looking better, which makes me feel better. Did I mention I love them and how they help out around here?!
Tonight, we are having spaghetti and homemade sauce that has been cooking in the crockpot all day, along with the Greek salad we love, to go with our family movie night watching Courageous. We love that movie. I hope you all have a marvelous and blessed rest of the weekend.
and Friday night date night with the love of my life.....
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Saturday on the Homestead, May 10, 2014
I woke up Thursday morning with an interesting small bruise on the edge of my back near my ribs. This spot became more and more painful as the day wore on, until I couldn't even sit back on it while sitting down. At some point that day, I began to wonder what in the world was going on, and then I remembered that I had taken a dead spider off my pillow when I made my bed. I hadn't really thought twice about it up to that point.
Turns out, I have been bitten by a brown recluse; one of the more serious spider bites you can have. The worst thing about it so far is the unending severe pain on that side, and the fact that it is in such an awkward place that I can't get comfortable enough to go to sleep. My family has been treating me with clays and essential oils every couple of hours.
I can't really get anything done around the house with the pain being so consuming, which is a bummer. I hope that it heals more quickly than the stories I have read, because I have a lot to do! And I miss taking care of my husband and family already, and it has only been 3 days.
I would appreciate your prayers for healing as we continue to treat this. I probably won't be posting much until I feel better.
Here is a current picture of my bite. I will update as we treat it and see changes. (The black spots are activated charcoal, not rotting skin!)
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Turns out, I have been bitten by a brown recluse; one of the more serious spider bites you can have. The worst thing about it so far is the unending severe pain on that side, and the fact that it is in such an awkward place that I can't get comfortable enough to go to sleep. My family has been treating me with clays and essential oils every couple of hours.
I can't really get anything done around the house with the pain being so consuming, which is a bummer. I hope that it heals more quickly than the stories I have read, because I have a lot to do! And I miss taking care of my husband and family already, and it has only been 3 days.
I would appreciate your prayers for healing as we continue to treat this. I probably won't be posting much until I feel better.
Here is a current picture of my bite. I will update as we treat it and see changes. (The black spots are activated charcoal, not rotting skin!)
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Sunday, May 4, 2014
For Married Men Who Love Their Wives
Obviously, from the title, this blog post is for married men. I don't normally target men specifically, but this was on my heart, and whatever God puts on my heart, I blog about. I have previously stated my desire and my heart to strengthen and uphold marriages through exhortation and encouragement. Through God's guiding and encouraging hand, my own marriage is blessed and hopefully His message can help others as well.
Good marriages don't just happen, especially in today's world. Daily attention and care and proactive thinking is a MUST for marriages to thrive and succeed. Men, I hope that you take this message to heart, because it can truly revolutionize not only your private, personal world, but also the relationship you have with your wife, and ultimately will bless your children as well.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that media takes extreme advantage of a man's God-given, visually driven nature. Not only the media, but the women who see the media and then adopt the visual presentation of the women they constantly see. In other words, we have lots of vamps and tramps running around, and bare skin abounds.
Men who don't restrict what goes before their eyes are bombarded daily with sights that a married man doesn't need to behold. This can be detrimental to marital expectations for several reasons; one being that the majority of women don't come close to resembling the airbrushed, hyper-sexual women of the world, so you are left feeling dissatisfied with the woman you already have. Secondly, if you are thinking about another woman, you are not thinking about your wife. If you are a Christian man in particular, your wife is the only woman you need to be thinking about and admiring sexually.
Your expectation can be raised by actively viewing and thinking about the seductive images around you. I would credit this with a lot of the extramarital affairs that are happening. After viewing hundreds of attractive images via internet, television, movies, Facebook, Instagram, or perhaps women jogging half-clothed on the side of the road, a man starts to feel dissatisfied with the imperfect woman that he already has, and thus begins the downhill slide to finding someone more enticing to engage, flirt with, and eventually sleep with - if not in reality, at least in thought, which makes you just as culpable of adultery as the act itself.
As a man, when you refuse to discipline your eyes and thoughts away from the tempting images around you, you will become more critical when assessing your wife, and she will normally fall short of the unrealistic expectation in your head. You will then start to pull away emotionally and sexually, and your wife will be left feeling dissatisfied, hurt, and unloved. God created you to be monogamous in every way, visually, mentally, and in real every day life. Something will remain missing in the intimacy of your marriage as long as you allow yourself to roam in any way.
If the issues are not addressed, affairs and/or divorce will ensue. That is why it is of the utmost importance that you realize that you are in a war for your very SOUL and your MARRIAGE. Indulging your flesh is never worth the ultimate consequences, and disciplining your flesh is always worth the blessing of a renewed mind and marriage.
And your mind CAN be renewed if you have been indulging in things you shouldn't. The Bible instructs us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. So when an inappropriate thought pops into your head, replace it with thoughts of your wife or thoughts of God. Speak truth to yourself. Speak scripture to yourself. When you have worked on retraining your mind, it will become easier to be obedient.
One would almost think that affairs and divorce are unavoidable these days, but I absolutely disagree. A person could also think that due to society men don't really have a choice about running around in a perpetual state of lust. With this, I also firmly and resolutely disagree, because scripture tells us differently We are commanded to take every thought captive and make it obedient to His word. That means it CAN and SHOULD be done every minute of every day.
I realize that with any seductive image or live person, a man will have an automatic, physical desire to look further and even to lust. At this point, a man can (and should) choose to bounce his eyes away and refocus his thoughts on something acceptable. He could even immediately call his wife and engage her in conversation.
My husband has stated that he would even go so far as to switch lanes at a gas station or grocery store if he feels that it would be too difficult to focus elsewhere. This is an example of the pro-active measures that should be taken to help you on your journey to renewing your mind and placing hedges around yourself to help avoid temptation.
Duck Dynasty brother Alan uses what he calls the "'notice-dismiss" method. When something passes your vision that you can't help but see because you aren't blind, you immediately and purposefully dismiss it - visually, by looking away, and mentally, by deliberately thinking something Godly. One male pastor stated that he prays for that woman's salvation as well.
As believers, it is important to understand that each of those immodest women have eternal souls, and are probably dressing to get attention either because they are very insecure about themselves, because they have been trained from a young age to believe that her body is what makes her valuable, or are actually an instrument of Satan to get you to stumble.
A man who truly desires to not fall into this potential affair-laden (again, either physical or mental) trap will be willing to go to extreme measures to ensure that he doesn't, even if like Joseph of the Bible you have to FLEE. Sometimes this is actually the wisest option. And this, men, is how you can begin to rejuvenate and protect yourself and your marriage from destruction. Because the lust game may be temporarily pleasurable, but it never ends well. Like never.
And if you end up with the person you lusted after and dabbled with, guess what? They are imperfect humans too, and they will age, get wrinkles, warts, moles, gain weight, get gray hair, or be extremely hateful, jealous, money hungry, or angry. Then you will have to move on to your next "perfectly sexy" person, and the cycle will never end, and your soul will never be satisfied. Because sex outside of the sanctity of marriage is just that - an empty, fleeting pleasure that will not leave you satisfied.
If you would never have an actual, physical affair, but you don't mind indulging your flesh by feasting on the tempting images around you, be they real people or digital images, you are still violating the trust your wife should be able to have in you, whether she ever knows about it or not.
Just as a person can say "no, thanks" to something offered to them that he doesn't need or want, you can say a resounding "NO!" to giving in to lust and becoming just another typical perpetually- aroused male, knowing that there is a greater reward to a cleansed mind focused SOLELY on your wife. You will be surprised just how desirable and attractive she becomes when you commit to being a one-woman man, in thought and deed.
This is a message many women want their men to hear. Our hearts cry out for you to desire us only. We don't want to believe the lie that "men will be men." Because we know that it really is a lie, and a very convenient excuse for men to do what they want.
You may not know any men who are obedient in this area, so you may think it simply isn't possible. There are men like this, because we know some, and I am married to one. He wasn't always that way, but he has become obedient to God in that area. It can be done, if you are willing to begin the process of self-discipline, denying your flesh, and placing purposeful hedges around yourself by not allowing yourself access to areas that cause you to stumble.
Know your weaknesses and avoid troublesome habits, places, or people that bring out those weaknesses. If Facebook causes you to stumble, only Facebook around your wife or stop Facebooking. Same strategy applies to everything else that tempts you the most. Jesus told us to be SEVERE in our strategies to rein in our flesh and sin.
You can be the reason your marriage survives rather than fails. The heart and trust of a wife is worth far more than any fleeting pleasure. Start your walk of obedience in these areas today. Your mind will thank you. Your soul will thank you. Your wife will thank you and she will rejoice in a man that has eyes for her only, and will love you unguardedly in return.
Please share this with someone who needs it.
Blessings on you and your marriage,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Good marriages don't just happen, especially in today's world. Daily attention and care and proactive thinking is a MUST for marriages to thrive and succeed. Men, I hope that you take this message to heart, because it can truly revolutionize not only your private, personal world, but also the relationship you have with your wife, and ultimately will bless your children as well.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that media takes extreme advantage of a man's God-given, visually driven nature. Not only the media, but the women who see the media and then adopt the visual presentation of the women they constantly see. In other words, we have lots of vamps and tramps running around, and bare skin abounds.
Men who don't restrict what goes before their eyes are bombarded daily with sights that a married man doesn't need to behold. This can be detrimental to marital expectations for several reasons; one being that the majority of women don't come close to resembling the airbrushed, hyper-sexual women of the world, so you are left feeling dissatisfied with the woman you already have. Secondly, if you are thinking about another woman, you are not thinking about your wife. If you are a Christian man in particular, your wife is the only woman you need to be thinking about and admiring sexually.
Your expectation can be raised by actively viewing and thinking about the seductive images around you. I would credit this with a lot of the extramarital affairs that are happening. After viewing hundreds of attractive images via internet, television, movies, Facebook, Instagram, or perhaps women jogging half-clothed on the side of the road, a man starts to feel dissatisfied with the imperfect woman that he already has, and thus begins the downhill slide to finding someone more enticing to engage, flirt with, and eventually sleep with - if not in reality, at least in thought, which makes you just as culpable of adultery as the act itself.
As a man, when you refuse to discipline your eyes and thoughts away from the tempting images around you, you will become more critical when assessing your wife, and she will normally fall short of the unrealistic expectation in your head. You will then start to pull away emotionally and sexually, and your wife will be left feeling dissatisfied, hurt, and unloved. God created you to be monogamous in every way, visually, mentally, and in real every day life. Something will remain missing in the intimacy of your marriage as long as you allow yourself to roam in any way.
If the issues are not addressed, affairs and/or divorce will ensue. That is why it is of the utmost importance that you realize that you are in a war for your very SOUL and your MARRIAGE. Indulging your flesh is never worth the ultimate consequences, and disciplining your flesh is always worth the blessing of a renewed mind and marriage.
And your mind CAN be renewed if you have been indulging in things you shouldn't. The Bible instructs us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. So when an inappropriate thought pops into your head, replace it with thoughts of your wife or thoughts of God. Speak truth to yourself. Speak scripture to yourself. When you have worked on retraining your mind, it will become easier to be obedient.
One would almost think that affairs and divorce are unavoidable these days, but I absolutely disagree. A person could also think that due to society men don't really have a choice about running around in a perpetual state of lust. With this, I also firmly and resolutely disagree, because scripture tells us differently We are commanded to take every thought captive and make it obedient to His word. That means it CAN and SHOULD be done every minute of every day.
I realize that with any seductive image or live person, a man will have an automatic, physical desire to look further and even to lust. At this point, a man can (and should) choose to bounce his eyes away and refocus his thoughts on something acceptable. He could even immediately call his wife and engage her in conversation.
My husband has stated that he would even go so far as to switch lanes at a gas station or grocery store if he feels that it would be too difficult to focus elsewhere. This is an example of the pro-active measures that should be taken to help you on your journey to renewing your mind and placing hedges around yourself to help avoid temptation.
Duck Dynasty brother Alan uses what he calls the "'notice-dismiss" method. When something passes your vision that you can't help but see because you aren't blind, you immediately and purposefully dismiss it - visually, by looking away, and mentally, by deliberately thinking something Godly. One male pastor stated that he prays for that woman's salvation as well.
As believers, it is important to understand that each of those immodest women have eternal souls, and are probably dressing to get attention either because they are very insecure about themselves, because they have been trained from a young age to believe that her body is what makes her valuable, or are actually an instrument of Satan to get you to stumble.
A man who truly desires to not fall into this potential affair-laden (again, either physical or mental) trap will be willing to go to extreme measures to ensure that he doesn't, even if like Joseph of the Bible you have to FLEE. Sometimes this is actually the wisest option. And this, men, is how you can begin to rejuvenate and protect yourself and your marriage from destruction. Because the lust game may be temporarily pleasurable, but it never ends well. Like never.
And if you end up with the person you lusted after and dabbled with, guess what? They are imperfect humans too, and they will age, get wrinkles, warts, moles, gain weight, get gray hair, or be extremely hateful, jealous, money hungry, or angry. Then you will have to move on to your next "perfectly sexy" person, and the cycle will never end, and your soul will never be satisfied. Because sex outside of the sanctity of marriage is just that - an empty, fleeting pleasure that will not leave you satisfied.
If you would never have an actual, physical affair, but you don't mind indulging your flesh by feasting on the tempting images around you, be they real people or digital images, you are still violating the trust your wife should be able to have in you, whether she ever knows about it or not.
Just as a person can say "no, thanks" to something offered to them that he doesn't need or want, you can say a resounding "NO!" to giving in to lust and becoming just another typical perpetually- aroused male, knowing that there is a greater reward to a cleansed mind focused SOLELY on your wife. You will be surprised just how desirable and attractive she becomes when you commit to being a one-woman man, in thought and deed.
This is a message many women want their men to hear. Our hearts cry out for you to desire us only. We don't want to believe the lie that "men will be men." Because we know that it really is a lie, and a very convenient excuse for men to do what they want.
You may not know any men who are obedient in this area, so you may think it simply isn't possible. There are men like this, because we know some, and I am married to one. He wasn't always that way, but he has become obedient to God in that area. It can be done, if you are willing to begin the process of self-discipline, denying your flesh, and placing purposeful hedges around yourself by not allowing yourself access to areas that cause you to stumble.
Know your weaknesses and avoid troublesome habits, places, or people that bring out those weaknesses. If Facebook causes you to stumble, only Facebook around your wife or stop Facebooking. Same strategy applies to everything else that tempts you the most. Jesus told us to be SEVERE in our strategies to rein in our flesh and sin.
You can be the reason your marriage survives rather than fails. The heart and trust of a wife is worth far more than any fleeting pleasure. Start your walk of obedience in these areas today. Your mind will thank you. Your soul will thank you. Your wife will thank you and she will rejoice in a man that has eyes for her only, and will love you unguardedly in return.
Please share this with someone who needs it.
Blessings on you and your marriage,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Saturday on the Homestead: April 26, 2014
Good morning! I find it utterly amazing that this is the last Saturday in April! My oldest daughter is going to turn 23 in a little over a week! I think someone sped up the rotation of the Earth, as time seems to just fly by these days. Gone are the days wishing time away like I did when I was younger. Every moment is precious now, and I want to use them all wisely.
Jeff had to work very early today, so we stayed the night at my mother's house last night. This has a two-fold blessing: one, I am available to help my sister with my parents or the house, and two, Jeff is only 10-15 minutes from work instead of 45. We have some errands to run when he gets off work, including a Lowe's run for some sealant for our greenhouse roof. As often is the case, we may stop for a wee date while we are out. We do cherish our time together. He is a hard-working man, and he deserves a wife who gives him undivided attention and care.
Our goals for the weekend once we get home are to get some more of the garden hand-tilled and planted. I did manage to get a few tomato plants in before it rained a couple of days ago. I am determined to make do with what we have started from seed this year, not spending any extra on store bought plants. Hopefully this will show us any adjustments we need to make in our seed starting next year.
We have 21 two-week-old chicks that we incubated and hatched ourselves. They are cute little fluff balls, but I am ready for them to be out of my living room. We have 25 meat chickens in the extra part of our chicken coop, and this along with the still-cool nights have kept the chicks in the house for now. It is a means to an end, so I tolerate it for now. Jessie does a superb job taking care of them, which helps.
Once I have the greenhouse completely painted and caulked (I may have been avoiding it for the last week or so because of all the bees), we are going to tackle our cellar. It has a dirt floor, a partial wall of shelves, and not much else but a bunch of junk. My goal is to clean it all out, have Josh haul gravel to cover the floor, install shop lighting, and eventually put an access stair into the house. That part will have to come later when we have more time. I am looking forward to it being more clean and organized and less creepy.
I have some pictures of my garden to post, but my laptop is not cooperating for some reason. I guess I will share them another time.
We plan on having a family-filled, hard-working weekend, and I hope you all do too!
Blessings,
Debbie
Jeff had to work very early today, so we stayed the night at my mother's house last night. This has a two-fold blessing: one, I am available to help my sister with my parents or the house, and two, Jeff is only 10-15 minutes from work instead of 45. We have some errands to run when he gets off work, including a Lowe's run for some sealant for our greenhouse roof. As often is the case, we may stop for a wee date while we are out. We do cherish our time together. He is a hard-working man, and he deserves a wife who gives him undivided attention and care.
Our goals for the weekend once we get home are to get some more of the garden hand-tilled and planted. I did manage to get a few tomato plants in before it rained a couple of days ago. I am determined to make do with what we have started from seed this year, not spending any extra on store bought plants. Hopefully this will show us any adjustments we need to make in our seed starting next year.
We have 21 two-week-old chicks that we incubated and hatched ourselves. They are cute little fluff balls, but I am ready for them to be out of my living room. We have 25 meat chickens in the extra part of our chicken coop, and this along with the still-cool nights have kept the chicks in the house for now. It is a means to an end, so I tolerate it for now. Jessie does a superb job taking care of them, which helps.
Once I have the greenhouse completely painted and caulked (I may have been avoiding it for the last week or so because of all the bees), we are going to tackle our cellar. It has a dirt floor, a partial wall of shelves, and not much else but a bunch of junk. My goal is to clean it all out, have Josh haul gravel to cover the floor, install shop lighting, and eventually put an access stair into the house. That part will have to come later when we have more time. I am looking forward to it being more clean and organized and less creepy.
I have some pictures of my garden to post, but my laptop is not cooperating for some reason. I guess I will share them another time.
We plan on having a family-filled, hard-working weekend, and I hope you all do too!
Blessings,
Debbie
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Practical and frugal uses for two common "weeds"
In my quest to become more natural and at the same time more frugal, I have been making a homemade plantain tincture for a facial astringent for several years now. This is the first year to try and make enough to last until next spring. Other than the apple cider vinegar to steep the plantain leaves in, the cleaner is free! Not only free, but extraordinarily effective and just as importantly, TOXIN FREE!
If you want to save money and also become more natural and eliminate some poisons from your lifestyle, you can make this too. It isn't difficult at all. It is best to use raw apple cider vinegar, like the Bragg's brand from the organic section at Kroger, but I have used and still use regular store bought ACV as well. If you make your own ACV, it is best not to use it for tinctures because the acidity isn't stable or guaranteed with each batch.
This is what plantain looks like:
I use a quart jar, wash and cut the leaves at least in half before putting them in the jar so the medicinal properties can be released more readily. Then cover with apple cider vinegar. This time, I actually added a little tincture grade vodka to top the jars off, which just aids in getting all of the good stuff out of the leaves. Most commercial astringents also have alcohol in them.
Shake daily, and let sit at least a few weeks, up to about 6 weeks. Strain, and store in a bottle or jar of your choice. It can be kind of strong, so last year I started diluting it with water by half. We use with both cotton balls and homemade facial cloths.
The second tincture I have been making this spring, inspired by my daughter, is soaking dandelion flowers and leaves in vinegar, along with dried basil, for our salads. We switched from commercial salad dressings to using olive oil and vinegar most of the time, along with homemade healthy ranch.
I have three jars of dandelions soaking so far, but I wish I had remembered to start sooner, so I would have gotten more flowers before they seeded out. Our vinegar will have even more healthy benefits with the added nutrients from the dandelions! No man made supplement or product can compare to using what you can find in nature provided by God.
Other the being healthier, one of the best things about these two tinctures are that they are practically free to make. The money saved can be put towards something else that we need that I can't or don't yet make myself.
Try it! You can do it too!!
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (facebook)
If you want to save money and also become more natural and eliminate some poisons from your lifestyle, you can make this too. It isn't difficult at all. It is best to use raw apple cider vinegar, like the Bragg's brand from the organic section at Kroger, but I have used and still use regular store bought ACV as well. If you make your own ACV, it is best not to use it for tinctures because the acidity isn't stable or guaranteed with each batch.
This is what plantain looks like:
I use a quart jar, wash and cut the leaves at least in half before putting them in the jar so the medicinal properties can be released more readily. Then cover with apple cider vinegar. This time, I actually added a little tincture grade vodka to top the jars off, which just aids in getting all of the good stuff out of the leaves. Most commercial astringents also have alcohol in them.
Shake daily, and let sit at least a few weeks, up to about 6 weeks. Strain, and store in a bottle or jar of your choice. It can be kind of strong, so last year I started diluting it with water by half. We use with both cotton balls and homemade facial cloths.
The second tincture I have been making this spring, inspired by my daughter, is soaking dandelion flowers and leaves in vinegar, along with dried basil, for our salads. We switched from commercial salad dressings to using olive oil and vinegar most of the time, along with homemade healthy ranch.
I have three jars of dandelions soaking so far, but I wish I had remembered to start sooner, so I would have gotten more flowers before they seeded out. Our vinegar will have even more healthy benefits with the added nutrients from the dandelions! No man made supplement or product can compare to using what you can find in nature provided by God.
Other the being healthier, one of the best things about these two tinctures are that they are practically free to make. The money saved can be put towards something else that we need that I can't or don't yet make myself.
Try it! You can do it too!!
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (facebook)
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Saturday on the Homestead: April 19, 2014
Jeff and I have had a bit of a long, difficult week. He has been fighting cough and illness all week, and I have been contending with a corresponding lack of sleep. I normally don't ever wish time away, but both of us were so thankful when Friday got here.
I have planted a few new things today from seeds I have been soaking: crimson clover, thyme, white yarrow, sweet williams, and some more rhubarb. Some I planted in my tires, some in a long outside pot, and the rest in my garden.
I am disappointed that the 10 tomatoes I planted last week all look dead. We worked hard cultivating those guys from seed. Success and failure are part of every gardener's life, but it sure is a bummer! Fortunately, we have more tomatoes almost ready to put in the ground, so I will just try again soon.
One of the things I am not liking about spring are the huge bumblebees dive-bombing our heads whenever we are near the greenhouse. We have a badminton racket to swat them if they bother us too much. If they would just peacefully do their thing, I could ignore them more easily, but they are quite aggressive. I am not afraid of too much, but my husband (and brother-in-law) have been deriving great pleasure from my girly squeals when the bees are pestering me. They get these manly amused smiles on their faces and I am just glad I can help make their day....
Jessie served us breakfast in bed this morning, which was a wonderful surprise. She made healthy pancakes with homemade banana whipped cream, turkey bacon, and eggs. Yummy!!
I am almost done painting the inside of the greenhouse, and the outside needs one more coat, but here is a picture of the "almost" finished project. I am SO proud of my husband for designing and building it. You can barely see our 2 lemon trees inside.
And there is the most beautiful granddaughter in the world, Hadassah Haven Miracle and her dog Willow (she says Lillow). We went to look at land with Mark, Alix and the kids this morning before we started working.
Jeff and I are running a load of trash off to town today, and we may indulge in a wee date while we are out. I know I have said this before, but it is so important to actively cultivate your relationship with your spouse by spending quality and quantity alone time with them when possible. Jeff and I have worked hard over the years to get where we are, and it hasn't always been good or easy. But I am thankful we have hung in there and are where we are today: best friends!
I hope you all have a fun, blessed weekend. We are looking forward to eating dinner with family tomorrow and spending time with them.
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (facebook)
I have planted a few new things today from seeds I have been soaking: crimson clover, thyme, white yarrow, sweet williams, and some more rhubarb. Some I planted in my tires, some in a long outside pot, and the rest in my garden.
I am disappointed that the 10 tomatoes I planted last week all look dead. We worked hard cultivating those guys from seed. Success and failure are part of every gardener's life, but it sure is a bummer! Fortunately, we have more tomatoes almost ready to put in the ground, so I will just try again soon.
One of the things I am not liking about spring are the huge bumblebees dive-bombing our heads whenever we are near the greenhouse. We have a badminton racket to swat them if they bother us too much. If they would just peacefully do their thing, I could ignore them more easily, but they are quite aggressive. I am not afraid of too much, but my husband (and brother-in-law) have been deriving great pleasure from my girly squeals when the bees are pestering me. They get these manly amused smiles on their faces and I am just glad I can help make their day....
Jessie served us breakfast in bed this morning, which was a wonderful surprise. She made healthy pancakes with homemade banana whipped cream, turkey bacon, and eggs. Yummy!!
I am almost done painting the inside of the greenhouse, and the outside needs one more coat, but here is a picture of the "almost" finished project. I am SO proud of my husband for designing and building it. You can barely see our 2 lemon trees inside.
Jeff and I are running a load of trash off to town today, and we may indulge in a wee date while we are out. I know I have said this before, but it is so important to actively cultivate your relationship with your spouse by spending quality and quantity alone time with them when possible. Jeff and I have worked hard over the years to get where we are, and it hasn't always been good or easy. But I am thankful we have hung in there and are where we are today: best friends!
I hope you all have a fun, blessed weekend. We are looking forward to eating dinner with family tomorrow and spending time with them.
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (facebook)
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Do you major in the minors? Offering grace to those around us.
I will never be one who minimizes or condones sin in those who call themselves followers of Jesus. Having said that, there are many people in the Christian faith that have adopted guidelines for themselves and their families and have subsequently turned them into man-made rules that everyone in the faith must follow or we look down upon them as less obedient than us. To truly be a mature believer, we have to allow others room to set standards for themselves and their families in those things that are not forbidden by God in the Bible.
There are things that are preferences, but are absolutely not salvation issues. (For by GRACE are you saved through FAITH, and that NOT of YOURSELVES. It is the GIFT of GOD, not of WORKS, lest any man should BOAST. Ephesians 2:8-9) This is important, because everything that we do as an act of obedience is a WORK. These things don't save us, and because we put on Christ's righteousness when we are saved, they also don't make us any more holy.
There are things in every believer's life that are matters of obedience that we haven't allowed God to work on in our lives yet. And there are things in other people's lives that are important to them that God may NEVER convict us of, even if we are willing to hear the message and change.
Just because God has convicted us of something doesn't mean that every believer we know will be convicted of it, or perhaps it is not the right time in their walk of faith for them to work on that particular thing. We all have progress to make to be more like Jesus, and everybody can't work on everything at the same time. Also, it takes some people much longer to work through issues than others. Look how stubborn and resistant the Israelites were to change.
That doesn't mean we can't encourage others to think about certain issues or beliefs that we hold. It DOES mean we should not engage them to the point of arguments and anger that will put a wall between us and them. Not only is this counter-productive to relationships, people never change their minds on issues when forced or coerced.
We are friends with people from many different doctrinal viewpoints, some who never go to church but I am almost certain they are saved (this statement will show some of you one of your legalistic points). Alternately, we know people who are mainstream Christians who go to church every time the door is opened, who are involved in committees, studies, and other various church activities. We have friends who love Jesus with all their hearts and feel led to keep the Jewish feasts and days. We know believers who worship and have "church" in homes. We know those who meet outside under a portico, unless it is too cold, and then they all gather in a small upper room above the portico.
We know others who never cut their hair, and/or only wear skirts for anything including climbing trees and swimming. Christians who do and some who do not drink alcohol in moderation (This one will definitely snag some. I know the arguments and scriptures; not overindulging to the point of drunkenness is the most clear instruction given. Freedom to let people decide where to go from there is needed to avoid legalism.) I don't think there is going to be a "He never drank anything", and a "She occasionally had a glass of wine" section in Heaven.
Some believers see nothing wrong with tattoos, while others can make a strong case against them; same thing with body piercings. We know people who believe you have to be baptized in order to be saved. People who eat certain things, and people who don't have the freedom to eat certain things.
Believers who only use certain versions of the Bible, and those who don't care what version they use as long as it is a Bible. Those who do and those who don't celebrate Christmas, some with and some without Santa Claus.
We have friends who are as modest as the day is long, and others who let it all hang out without any apparent conviction. Those who feel led to only take the gospel to certain people groups, and those who want to take it to the whole world.
My family and I have strong convictions on all of the above mentioned areas of life, as I am sure most believers do. It becomes dangerous when our convictions rule our lives to the point that we begin to shut others out or disdain them because their beliefs on these non-salvation issues don't match ours. I have seen others suffer this disdain for not living up to someone's beliefs, have experienced it myself from others, and have been tempted to disdain others for not being convicted as I am as well. This is not a Godly attribute, and we will never fully display God's grace if we act this way.
I completely understand and agree that in our inner circles we will normally have those who are most like us. There are other issues to sometimes consider as well. For example, you have the freedom to be less than perfectly modest, but I may not allow you around my hormonal, pubescent son very much; however, I am not going to completely unfriend you because of it.
We can get so dogmatic in our beliefs (again, regarding those things that are not specifically addressed in scripture, or those that are addressed, but specific guidelines not given. Modesty is addressed in scripture, but the actual level of modesty required is not) that we are more concerned with others following our beliefs than we are about telling others about the great salvation that God the Father offers us through Jesus. In the end, these small things may affect our level of reward in Heaven, but they are not going to keep us from getting there. We need to preach the gospel, and let the Holy Spirit do the convicting and changing of a person's life and heart.
We can forget that we aren't the Holy Spirit, who convicts us of sin and gives us the power to overcome and change. There is nothing wrong with telling others of our beliefs on these minor (by minor, I mean non-salvation) issues. However, we need to understand that not everyone has to believe the same way that we do (gasp) on every issue, and that some people who have actually prayerfully considered those same subjects have reached different conclusions than we have, and that is okay.
God is a very big, complex God, and I don't think He wants every single believer to be a carbon copy of each other. He can use these varying beliefs on minor issues to accomplish His purposes. He will use you to do one thing, while He may use me to do another, even though we don't agree on anything but how to be saved (!!!)
We don't have the market wrapped up on what is right on every issue. Great theologians have pondered more serious issues than these, and have come up with vastly differing opinions that they can each support with scripture. Daily we need to remember that outwardly the gospel is the goal, and within our own lives letting Christ make us more like Him.
One thing Christians can be sure of: there is salvation only through faith in Jesus Christ and the blood that he shed for us on the cross, and His resurrection. This is the one and only way to eternal life. This is a non-negotiable for us because the Bible is absolutely clear on this subject.
There are other issues that scripture address clearly about what is sin: lying, cheating, stealing, lusting, adultery, homosexuality, murdering, gossiping, slander, and fornication. We can try to tiptoe around these subjects and convince ourselves that they are okay. As Christians, we have to accept what is clearly stated in Scripture as sin. These are the things that we can lovingly address in other believer's lives if we see them stumble.
For those things that are not clearly stated, as those mentioned in the first half of this post, we can grant freedom to the believers around us to prayerfully consider them and reach their own conclusions about them. Others may not feel convicted about things we feel very strongly about. They may change their minds someday about those things, or it is possible that we may change our minds about certain things that we now feel strongly about.
Instead of anger and rejection towards others who don't feel convicted about all of the same things that we do, let us offer grace, realizing that we are not always right, and also realizing that even if we are right, that it isn't our job to change them. We can pray for them, but we can't do the changing.
Let us walk through life humbly living out our beliefs, speaking of them humbly when given the chance, without the expectation that everyone must follow and agree on these minor issues, even if those "minor issues" seem very large and important to us.
Stand firm on Christ as the way to salvation; stand firm on those things God has clearly stated as sin; offer GRACE for everything else.
As always, please SHARE this post with others.
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (Facebook page)
There are things that are preferences, but are absolutely not salvation issues. (For by GRACE are you saved through FAITH, and that NOT of YOURSELVES. It is the GIFT of GOD, not of WORKS, lest any man should BOAST. Ephesians 2:8-9) This is important, because everything that we do as an act of obedience is a WORK. These things don't save us, and because we put on Christ's righteousness when we are saved, they also don't make us any more holy.
There are things in every believer's life that are matters of obedience that we haven't allowed God to work on in our lives yet. And there are things in other people's lives that are important to them that God may NEVER convict us of, even if we are willing to hear the message and change.
Just because God has convicted us of something doesn't mean that every believer we know will be convicted of it, or perhaps it is not the right time in their walk of faith for them to work on that particular thing. We all have progress to make to be more like Jesus, and everybody can't work on everything at the same time. Also, it takes some people much longer to work through issues than others. Look how stubborn and resistant the Israelites were to change.
That doesn't mean we can't encourage others to think about certain issues or beliefs that we hold. It DOES mean we should not engage them to the point of arguments and anger that will put a wall between us and them. Not only is this counter-productive to relationships, people never change their minds on issues when forced or coerced.
We are friends with people from many different doctrinal viewpoints, some who never go to church but I am almost certain they are saved (this statement will show some of you one of your legalistic points). Alternately, we know people who are mainstream Christians who go to church every time the door is opened, who are involved in committees, studies, and other various church activities. We have friends who love Jesus with all their hearts and feel led to keep the Jewish feasts and days. We know believers who worship and have "church" in homes. We know those who meet outside under a portico, unless it is too cold, and then they all gather in a small upper room above the portico.
We know others who never cut their hair, and/or only wear skirts for anything including climbing trees and swimming. Christians who do and some who do not drink alcohol in moderation (This one will definitely snag some. I know the arguments and scriptures; not overindulging to the point of drunkenness is the most clear instruction given. Freedom to let people decide where to go from there is needed to avoid legalism.) I don't think there is going to be a "He never drank anything", and a "She occasionally had a glass of wine" section in Heaven.
Some believers see nothing wrong with tattoos, while others can make a strong case against them; same thing with body piercings. We know people who believe you have to be baptized in order to be saved. People who eat certain things, and people who don't have the freedom to eat certain things.
Believers who only use certain versions of the Bible, and those who don't care what version they use as long as it is a Bible. Those who do and those who don't celebrate Christmas, some with and some without Santa Claus.
We have friends who are as modest as the day is long, and others who let it all hang out without any apparent conviction. Those who feel led to only take the gospel to certain people groups, and those who want to take it to the whole world.
My family and I have strong convictions on all of the above mentioned areas of life, as I am sure most believers do. It becomes dangerous when our convictions rule our lives to the point that we begin to shut others out or disdain them because their beliefs on these non-salvation issues don't match ours. I have seen others suffer this disdain for not living up to someone's beliefs, have experienced it myself from others, and have been tempted to disdain others for not being convicted as I am as well. This is not a Godly attribute, and we will never fully display God's grace if we act this way.
I completely understand and agree that in our inner circles we will normally have those who are most like us. There are other issues to sometimes consider as well. For example, you have the freedom to be less than perfectly modest, but I may not allow you around my hormonal, pubescent son very much; however, I am not going to completely unfriend you because of it.
We can get so dogmatic in our beliefs (again, regarding those things that are not specifically addressed in scripture, or those that are addressed, but specific guidelines not given. Modesty is addressed in scripture, but the actual level of modesty required is not) that we are more concerned with others following our beliefs than we are about telling others about the great salvation that God the Father offers us through Jesus. In the end, these small things may affect our level of reward in Heaven, but they are not going to keep us from getting there. We need to preach the gospel, and let the Holy Spirit do the convicting and changing of a person's life and heart.
We can forget that we aren't the Holy Spirit, who convicts us of sin and gives us the power to overcome and change. There is nothing wrong with telling others of our beliefs on these minor (by minor, I mean non-salvation) issues. However, we need to understand that not everyone has to believe the same way that we do (gasp) on every issue, and that some people who have actually prayerfully considered those same subjects have reached different conclusions than we have, and that is okay.
God is a very big, complex God, and I don't think He wants every single believer to be a carbon copy of each other. He can use these varying beliefs on minor issues to accomplish His purposes. He will use you to do one thing, while He may use me to do another, even though we don't agree on anything but how to be saved (!!!)
We don't have the market wrapped up on what is right on every issue. Great theologians have pondered more serious issues than these, and have come up with vastly differing opinions that they can each support with scripture. Daily we need to remember that outwardly the gospel is the goal, and within our own lives letting Christ make us more like Him.
One thing Christians can be sure of: there is salvation only through faith in Jesus Christ and the blood that he shed for us on the cross, and His resurrection. This is the one and only way to eternal life. This is a non-negotiable for us because the Bible is absolutely clear on this subject.
There are other issues that scripture address clearly about what is sin: lying, cheating, stealing, lusting, adultery, homosexuality, murdering, gossiping, slander, and fornication. We can try to tiptoe around these subjects and convince ourselves that they are okay. As Christians, we have to accept what is clearly stated in Scripture as sin. These are the things that we can lovingly address in other believer's lives if we see them stumble.
For those things that are not clearly stated, as those mentioned in the first half of this post, we can grant freedom to the believers around us to prayerfully consider them and reach their own conclusions about them. Others may not feel convicted about things we feel very strongly about. They may change their minds someday about those things, or it is possible that we may change our minds about certain things that we now feel strongly about.
Instead of anger and rejection towards others who don't feel convicted about all of the same things that we do, let us offer grace, realizing that we are not always right, and also realizing that even if we are right, that it isn't our job to change them. We can pray for them, but we can't do the changing.
Let us walk through life humbly living out our beliefs, speaking of them humbly when given the chance, without the expectation that everyone must follow and agree on these minor issues, even if those "minor issues" seem very large and important to us.
Stand firm on Christ as the way to salvation; stand firm on those things God has clearly stated as sin; offer GRACE for everything else.
As always, please SHARE this post with others.
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (Facebook page)
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Saturday on the Homestead: April 12, 2014
I am spending the day at my mother's house in town, helping my sister out wherever I can. It's a beautiful day, and I am so thankful for the sunshine and warm weather, as I am sure many are. We have been quite busy around the homestead, with some spring planting, painting the greenhouse, weeding beds, and starting a little spring cleaning in the house.
We ordered two small (up to 10 feet) lemon trees and an avocado tree that can be grown in pots in our greenhouse. I am excited to try something new, as we have never grown these before. I can't wait for our first harvest from them! The lemon trees we got are supposed to be slightly less acidic with a hint of orange taste. I will post pictures of them soon.
Last week, I got our sunflowers planted, some radishes, toothache plant seeds, and 10 tomato plants. I have several seedlings of different things ready to transplant, but just haven't gotten to them yet. My love of gardening is growing, and I find it a serene and relaxing thing to do.
I can't wait to finish our greenhouse so I can show everyone our before and after pictures. We are almost there after a lot of hard work. It will be interesting this fall when it cools off again to see what we can grow in it. I am hoping to at least grow salad greens in it all winter.
Jeff had to work today, which is always a mixed blessing. Jessie, Amber and Josh are working today making higher than average wages to spread 500 bags of topsoil at a friend's house. Those kids are hard workers, and I am so thankful for that.
While certainly not perfect, I do delight in them more often than not. We have a lot of fun together. Sometimes we get distracted in the morning after breakfast just chatting away together, and before we know it, over an hour has gone by. We call it the "Newman distraction." At times we'll be doing our Bible study, and we may stop to look up some information to answer a question in our reading, and that will lead to something totally unrelated. We don't even consciously realize we are majorly off topic because we get so wrapped up in what we are talking about. It amuses me greatly.
We are still in auto-repair mode with our Nissan truck as it still isn't running properly. Today when Jeff gets off work, we have to go buy a valve cover gasket. Hopefully that will finish up repairs for that vehicle for awhile. All of our vehicles are used and could use some work of one kind or another, but nothing too major except for our green Dodge truck, which I think needs some engine work.
I'm working on a design for a wood sign for our homestead, and will get someone local to make it for me to use as my new logo. If you have any ideas for my design, let me know in the comments, as I haven't landed on anything solid yet. Something homestead-y.
I tried to download a picture of my fiery red-headed mama on here, but this computer won't upload my most recent photos for some reason. So instead, here is a picture of our spoiled Aussie and Border Collie, Ellie and Sahara. This is their, "Excuse me, we are INSIDE dogs, so let us back in", faces.
Until next time and God Bless,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
We ordered two small (up to 10 feet) lemon trees and an avocado tree that can be grown in pots in our greenhouse. I am excited to try something new, as we have never grown these before. I can't wait for our first harvest from them! The lemon trees we got are supposed to be slightly less acidic with a hint of orange taste. I will post pictures of them soon.
Last week, I got our sunflowers planted, some radishes, toothache plant seeds, and 10 tomato plants. I have several seedlings of different things ready to transplant, but just haven't gotten to them yet. My love of gardening is growing, and I find it a serene and relaxing thing to do.
I can't wait to finish our greenhouse so I can show everyone our before and after pictures. We are almost there after a lot of hard work. It will be interesting this fall when it cools off again to see what we can grow in it. I am hoping to at least grow salad greens in it all winter.
Jeff had to work today, which is always a mixed blessing. Jessie, Amber and Josh are working today making higher than average wages to spread 500 bags of topsoil at a friend's house. Those kids are hard workers, and I am so thankful for that.
While certainly not perfect, I do delight in them more often than not. We have a lot of fun together. Sometimes we get distracted in the morning after breakfast just chatting away together, and before we know it, over an hour has gone by. We call it the "Newman distraction." At times we'll be doing our Bible study, and we may stop to look up some information to answer a question in our reading, and that will lead to something totally unrelated. We don't even consciously realize we are majorly off topic because we get so wrapped up in what we are talking about. It amuses me greatly.
We are still in auto-repair mode with our Nissan truck as it still isn't running properly. Today when Jeff gets off work, we have to go buy a valve cover gasket. Hopefully that will finish up repairs for that vehicle for awhile. All of our vehicles are used and could use some work of one kind or another, but nothing too major except for our green Dodge truck, which I think needs some engine work.
I'm working on a design for a wood sign for our homestead, and will get someone local to make it for me to use as my new logo. If you have any ideas for my design, let me know in the comments, as I haven't landed on anything solid yet. Something homestead-y.
I tried to download a picture of my fiery red-headed mama on here, but this computer won't upload my most recent photos for some reason. So instead, here is a picture of our spoiled Aussie and Border Collie, Ellie and Sahara. This is their, "Excuse me, we are INSIDE dogs, so let us back in", faces.
Until next time and God Bless,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Why I still read aloud to my half-grown kids
We don't like the terms "teens" or "teenagers" in our family because of the connotated immaturity and rebellion they imply, so we usually say young men and young women. We still have 2 children that we homeschool; Amber is 15 and Joshua is 14.
I have read to all four of my children well into their childhoods, and am still reading to the two still at home. Jessie (19) will sometimes even listen in when she isn't busy with something else. We cover a variety of genres when we read together.
Some may wonder why a parent would still feel the need to read aloud when her children are practically grown and can certainly read for themselves. Some may even feel that it is babyish or immature. I obviously disagree.
I LOVE this time with my children no matter their age. When they were young, the stories stimulated their imaginations and helped their brains develop. We would snuggle while we read, and they would ask endless questions like kids do.
The older they get, the more in-depth we can get with our discussions. By listening to and watching their mother read, they are drawing close to me and I to them. This has always been so precious to me.
It is at times a labor of love. I don't always feel like it, but my heart always desires the closeness. I love them enough not to let them escape each school day into individual obscurity. I love them enough to require them to sit through a shared story together even when they don't feel like it. This seldom applies to Amber, who absolutely adores being read to, but Joshua IS a boy, and has been historically fidgety at times.
My time with them is waning. I can feel it persistently fading away. I simultaneously want them to grow up and be Godly, successful individuals following God's plan and also desiring them to be my babies forever. I am sure most parents experience this dilemma.
I would encourage all parents with children at home of any age to read to them. If they are older, it could be news articles or an in-depth biblical study book. Anything that gets their noses out of electronics and television and actually focused on other family members.
I don't and never will regret the time devoted to reading to my children. They are worth it. Amber told me it makes her feel special, and Joshua said that he wants to continue the tradition when he has kids.
It truly is never to late to start a good habit. Reading to our children is a habit worth establishing. The benefits will last long into their lives. They are absolutely worth our time and undivided attention.
As always, feel free to share this post with your friends!
Here is a valuable resource for those who are interested - What to Read When:The Books and Stories to Read with your Child
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (Click here and come like my Facebook page)
I have read to all four of my children well into their childhoods, and am still reading to the two still at home. Jessie (19) will sometimes even listen in when she isn't busy with something else. We cover a variety of genres when we read together.
Some may wonder why a parent would still feel the need to read aloud when her children are practically grown and can certainly read for themselves. Some may even feel that it is babyish or immature. I obviously disagree.
I LOVE this time with my children no matter their age. When they were young, the stories stimulated their imaginations and helped their brains develop. We would snuggle while we read, and they would ask endless questions like kids do.
The older they get, the more in-depth we can get with our discussions. By listening to and watching their mother read, they are drawing close to me and I to them. This has always been so precious to me.
It is at times a labor of love. I don't always feel like it, but my heart always desires the closeness. I love them enough not to let them escape each school day into individual obscurity. I love them enough to require them to sit through a shared story together even when they don't feel like it. This seldom applies to Amber, who absolutely adores being read to, but Joshua IS a boy, and has been historically fidgety at times.
My time with them is waning. I can feel it persistently fading away. I simultaneously want them to grow up and be Godly, successful individuals following God's plan and also desiring them to be my babies forever. I am sure most parents experience this dilemma.
I would encourage all parents with children at home of any age to read to them. If they are older, it could be news articles or an in-depth biblical study book. Anything that gets their noses out of electronics and television and actually focused on other family members.
I don't and never will regret the time devoted to reading to my children. They are worth it. Amber told me it makes her feel special, and Joshua said that he wants to continue the tradition when he has kids.
It truly is never to late to start a good habit. Reading to our children is a habit worth establishing. The benefits will last long into their lives. They are absolutely worth our time and undivided attention.
As always, feel free to share this post with your friends!
Here is a valuable resource for those who are interested - What to Read When:The Books and Stories to Read with your Child
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (Click here and come like my Facebook page)
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
5 things you can (!) live without that will save you money
Are you trying to save money? Do you search for ways to reduce, things or services to do away with, or changes that will lessen your budget? There are more and more people trying to save money wherever they can these days. I know that we try to pinch pennies, but our grocery budget has just about doubled in the last two or three years, most of it due to increased prices at the store (and a teenage boy that is never full).
It can be even more challenging when you are trying to eat healthier, because healthier is almost always more expensive than buying what is cheap, like Ramen Noodles (which we did for YEARS). An increasing number of people now care about preservatives, dyes, and the lack of nutrition in most pre-packaged foods and are trying to leave them out of their lifestyle, which almost guarantees an increase in what you spend on groceries.
However, there are things that most people buy regularly which don't improve our quality of health that could technically be done without. We have made these changes over the last years, some gradually, and some not so gradually.
If you are absolutely aghast at the thought of giving these things up, I would suggest picking the one that is the least abhorrent and trying it for at least a few months to see if a new habit can be established. You could always go back to it if you still hate it after those few months, but for most people the odds are good that you will have enjoyed not buying those items for a change. You can add in some or all of the other things as you create new habits.
Even if it never occurred to you before to be more frugal in these areas, at least give it some thought. I think I read information on some of them several times before I took the plunge. Some things that I regularly do now I would have promised I would never do. These things truly do save money, and that is more money in your pocket. You might even estimate what you are saving, and put it aside each week/month as a small nest egg.
That being said, here is my list:
1. Paper towels and napkins- This is one of those things that I never would have pictured doing without. I finally made the switch to household rags for paper towels, and cloth napkins (which both wash easily) that my mother-in-law made for us. If you don't sew or know someone that does, you can purchase them one time online or in the household section of your favorite store. They will last virtually forever.
Old towels and washcloths can be saved for big spills as well. Disposable paper towels and paper napkins can be quite expensive, and this has saved our family quite a bit of money over the last few years.
2. Toxic household cleaners (Bleach, Mr. Clean, Lysol, FeBreeze, Scrubbing Bubbles, etc) - We have replaced just about every single expensive, toxic cleaner that we used to buy with vinegar. This is such a versatile, germ-killing, inexpensive cleaner. You can even soak orange rinds and lemon peels in it to have a citrus cleaner or add essential oils to if you prefer.
The only other thing that we use besides vinegar is what we use for laundry. We use washing powder (which is baked baking soda) and occasionally Borax (which isn't quite as healthy). Personally, I think this is one of the things that helps keeps us healthy, because there truly are a boatload of poisons in store-bought cleaners and laundry detergents.
Read the warnings and the ingredients of what you use; they are there for a reason, but people just ignore them.
If you have a Sam's Club membership, vinegar can be purchased in a two-pack box quite inexpensively. Your health and your budget will thank you if you make this change.
3. Pre-packaged foods and frozen dinners- Yes, I know they are convenient. Really convenient. However, not only do you pay a high unit price for them, but you pay later in poor health, because they are loaded with preservatives, chemicals (literally), and fake colorings. There are some cheaper frozen foods and prepackaged items, but the cheaper they are, the more junk they have in them.
Start checking the labels on your grocery items. If you can't pronounce it, odds are it is harmful to your long-term health.
There are a couple of things you can do to replace these convenient foods. One is to set aside one or two days a month, and cook up a few meals specifically to freeze them. Chili, spaghetti, lasagna, mac and cheese, casseroles, soups, ground meat for tacos or burritos, biscuits, beans, rice, cookies, cakes, and pies are some starter suggestions for things that freeze well. This will save you oodles of money, and you will have things ready to reheat for meals when you are in a hurry.
The other option is to just commit to cook from real, whole, fresh foods as much as you possibly can. If you are a family that doesn't mind leftovers like us, you can purposely make extra to have for a few meals later in the week. The time you think you save by buying prepackaged items and frozen meals are spent in a doctor's office later in life because your body has finally rebelled against all of the toxins. Try spending a little time meal planning each week. The effort put into thinking a little ahead can reap big rewards for your budget and health.
4. Expensive coffee drinks from restuarants or stores: This one can be fairly simple to remedy for anyone with a blender. There are tons of healthy (and non-healthy) recipes for coffee drinks online. They can be made up for a whole week and kept in the fridge in grab and go cups.
If you put the money you save by making your own coffee drinks in an envelope, I honestly think most people could almost take a mini-vacation after a year. This change results in BIG savings with really not that much effort. It is worth developing a new habit for sure.
5. New clothing and shoes every week/month: This change will come more easily with a changed mindset about what we actually NEED to be in our wardrobe. Most, if not all of us have entirely TOO many clothes and shoes in our wardrobes. Some people couldn't wear everything even if they wore something different every day for a year. If we realize that buying clothes we don't need is truly a waste of money, we can open up a lot of room in our budget for debt, for saving for emergencies, or for saving for things we truly DO need.
I can't express the freedom and joy I have experienced as I have organized and narrowed down our possessions, including clothes and shoes. I still think I have too many, but I don't have as many as most people I know, and I am constantly going through them to see what I actually want and like.
Don't be afraid to drastically narrow down your wardrobe. You can always fill in the gaps later when you see what you need. Most people don't even like a good portion of the clothing they keep. Try wearing something different every day, and see what clothes you are avoiding. Get RID of those items!
I have been trying to keep just one of each type of shoes. One pair of black boots, one pair of brown, one pair of snow boots. One pair of black heels, one white, and one pink pair of leather flats that my mother gave me a long time ago. Two or three leathery summer pairs for warm weather and a pair for swimming in the creek or walking on the beach. I LOVE not having a hundred pairs of shoes to wade through every time I get dressed. Simplicity really is freeing.
Also, try not to even go shopping if you don't actually have a need. This will reduce spur of the moment purchases of things you don't really need. Window shopping can be dangerous to the budget. Try to develop an attitude of evaluating need versus want, and give in less to the wants. It makes it more special when we do buy something we want just for a treat if we don't do it all the time.
Making these few simple changes in our lifestyles can put quite a bit of extra money in your weekly/monthly budget. If you have debt, this would be a good way to squeeze some extra funds to start paying it off. We should be good stewards of all that we do and have, and should try to reduce waste/extravagance wherever we can.
The spiritual peace and freedom that comes along with it is a wonderful additional blessing to saving money. New habits CAN be created. I have done it and continue to try to do it. It's not always easy, and it's not always fun. But the result of saving money is real nonetheless!
What things have you changed or modified to save money? Feel free to share this post with your friends.
Here are some books on de-cluttering, simplifying and saving money:
7: An experimental mutiny against excess
The joy of less: A minimalist living guide
The gift of simplicity: discover the rewards of simplifying
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (Find us on Facebook here)
It can be even more challenging when you are trying to eat healthier, because healthier is almost always more expensive than buying what is cheap, like Ramen Noodles (which we did for YEARS). An increasing number of people now care about preservatives, dyes, and the lack of nutrition in most pre-packaged foods and are trying to leave them out of their lifestyle, which almost guarantees an increase in what you spend on groceries.
However, there are things that most people buy regularly which don't improve our quality of health that could technically be done without. We have made these changes over the last years, some gradually, and some not so gradually.
If you are absolutely aghast at the thought of giving these things up, I would suggest picking the one that is the least abhorrent and trying it for at least a few months to see if a new habit can be established. You could always go back to it if you still hate it after those few months, but for most people the odds are good that you will have enjoyed not buying those items for a change. You can add in some or all of the other things as you create new habits.
Even if it never occurred to you before to be more frugal in these areas, at least give it some thought. I think I read information on some of them several times before I took the plunge. Some things that I regularly do now I would have promised I would never do. These things truly do save money, and that is more money in your pocket. You might even estimate what you are saving, and put it aside each week/month as a small nest egg.
That being said, here is my list:
1. Paper towels and napkins- This is one of those things that I never would have pictured doing without. I finally made the switch to household rags for paper towels, and cloth napkins (which both wash easily) that my mother-in-law made for us. If you don't sew or know someone that does, you can purchase them one time online or in the household section of your favorite store. They will last virtually forever.
Old towels and washcloths can be saved for big spills as well. Disposable paper towels and paper napkins can be quite expensive, and this has saved our family quite a bit of money over the last few years.
2. Toxic household cleaners (Bleach, Mr. Clean, Lysol, FeBreeze, Scrubbing Bubbles, etc) - We have replaced just about every single expensive, toxic cleaner that we used to buy with vinegar. This is such a versatile, germ-killing, inexpensive cleaner. You can even soak orange rinds and lemon peels in it to have a citrus cleaner or add essential oils to if you prefer.
The only other thing that we use besides vinegar is what we use for laundry. We use washing powder (which is baked baking soda) and occasionally Borax (which isn't quite as healthy). Personally, I think this is one of the things that helps keeps us healthy, because there truly are a boatload of poisons in store-bought cleaners and laundry detergents.
Read the warnings and the ingredients of what you use; they are there for a reason, but people just ignore them.
If you have a Sam's Club membership, vinegar can be purchased in a two-pack box quite inexpensively. Your health and your budget will thank you if you make this change.
3. Pre-packaged foods and frozen dinners- Yes, I know they are convenient. Really convenient. However, not only do you pay a high unit price for them, but you pay later in poor health, because they are loaded with preservatives, chemicals (literally), and fake colorings. There are some cheaper frozen foods and prepackaged items, but the cheaper they are, the more junk they have in them.
Start checking the labels on your grocery items. If you can't pronounce it, odds are it is harmful to your long-term health.
There are a couple of things you can do to replace these convenient foods. One is to set aside one or two days a month, and cook up a few meals specifically to freeze them. Chili, spaghetti, lasagna, mac and cheese, casseroles, soups, ground meat for tacos or burritos, biscuits, beans, rice, cookies, cakes, and pies are some starter suggestions for things that freeze well. This will save you oodles of money, and you will have things ready to reheat for meals when you are in a hurry.
The other option is to just commit to cook from real, whole, fresh foods as much as you possibly can. If you are a family that doesn't mind leftovers like us, you can purposely make extra to have for a few meals later in the week. The time you think you save by buying prepackaged items and frozen meals are spent in a doctor's office later in life because your body has finally rebelled against all of the toxins. Try spending a little time meal planning each week. The effort put into thinking a little ahead can reap big rewards for your budget and health.
4. Expensive coffee drinks from restuarants or stores: This one can be fairly simple to remedy for anyone with a blender. There are tons of healthy (and non-healthy) recipes for coffee drinks online. They can be made up for a whole week and kept in the fridge in grab and go cups.
If you put the money you save by making your own coffee drinks in an envelope, I honestly think most people could almost take a mini-vacation after a year. This change results in BIG savings with really not that much effort. It is worth developing a new habit for sure.
5. New clothing and shoes every week/month: This change will come more easily with a changed mindset about what we actually NEED to be in our wardrobe. Most, if not all of us have entirely TOO many clothes and shoes in our wardrobes. Some people couldn't wear everything even if they wore something different every day for a year. If we realize that buying clothes we don't need is truly a waste of money, we can open up a lot of room in our budget for debt, for saving for emergencies, or for saving for things we truly DO need.
I can't express the freedom and joy I have experienced as I have organized and narrowed down our possessions, including clothes and shoes. I still think I have too many, but I don't have as many as most people I know, and I am constantly going through them to see what I actually want and like.
Don't be afraid to drastically narrow down your wardrobe. You can always fill in the gaps later when you see what you need. Most people don't even like a good portion of the clothing they keep. Try wearing something different every day, and see what clothes you are avoiding. Get RID of those items!
I have been trying to keep just one of each type of shoes. One pair of black boots, one pair of brown, one pair of snow boots. One pair of black heels, one white, and one pink pair of leather flats that my mother gave me a long time ago. Two or three leathery summer pairs for warm weather and a pair for swimming in the creek or walking on the beach. I LOVE not having a hundred pairs of shoes to wade through every time I get dressed. Simplicity really is freeing.
Also, try not to even go shopping if you don't actually have a need. This will reduce spur of the moment purchases of things you don't really need. Window shopping can be dangerous to the budget. Try to develop an attitude of evaluating need versus want, and give in less to the wants. It makes it more special when we do buy something we want just for a treat if we don't do it all the time.
Making these few simple changes in our lifestyles can put quite a bit of extra money in your weekly/monthly budget. If you have debt, this would be a good way to squeeze some extra funds to start paying it off. We should be good stewards of all that we do and have, and should try to reduce waste/extravagance wherever we can.
The spiritual peace and freedom that comes along with it is a wonderful additional blessing to saving money. New habits CAN be created. I have done it and continue to try to do it. It's not always easy, and it's not always fun. But the result of saving money is real nonetheless!
What things have you changed or modified to save money? Feel free to share this post with your friends.
Here are some books on de-cluttering, simplifying and saving money:
7: An experimental mutiny against excess
The joy of less: A minimalist living guide
The gift of simplicity: discover the rewards of simplifying
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (Find us on Facebook here)
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Saturday on the Homestead: March 29, 2014
It's a rainy, chilly day here in Tennessee. I always think that Spring has this built-in radar that makes it nicer during the week and rainy on the weekends. One of these years I am going to chart it so I have a record of this disheartening reality.
Jeff is needing to caulk the new greenhouse, but that is difficult to do in the rain! We have made good progress on it, but we still need to lay weedcover down on the floor, and put 3-4 inches of gravel on top. We also have to finish closing in some of the last remaining small spots, build whatever shelving we are going to use, and paint it.
It will be nice next year to be able to use it earlier in the year while it is still cold outside. Even though it still has open spots, it is already warmer inside of it than the outside temperature. I have taken some pictures during the renovation, and will include them when it is done and I can give a final finished picture.
We are taking another load of trash off today. Jessie is determined to clean off the "trash hill" I talked about in a previous blog. That would be the hill my in-laws used for years to dispose of their trash instead of hauling it off. There are layers and layers of it. I wish her luck in conquering it.
While we are in town, we will also be picking up some spark plugs and wires for Jeff to tune up our Nissan. I am so thankful that he is able to do things like that for us instead of paying someone else to do it.
When we get back, I am determined to start tons of tomato and pepper seeds that I haven't been able to get to this week. Jeff said if we have too many, we will stick them in the ground somewhere out of the garden even if we only get a small harvest off of them.
We are probably not going to be too productive today other than that because of the rain, and we have a couple of movies to watch, which we don't do too often.
This is a picture of lattice that we added to one side of the entrance to my garden. You can't really see it, but there is a new red climbing rose bush that will hopefully flourish up the lattice this summer. I will post a picture when it does. It is the only rose bush we currently have.
I hope everyone has a marvelous weekend with friends and family!
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Jeff is needing to caulk the new greenhouse, but that is difficult to do in the rain! We have made good progress on it, but we still need to lay weedcover down on the floor, and put 3-4 inches of gravel on top. We also have to finish closing in some of the last remaining small spots, build whatever shelving we are going to use, and paint it.
It will be nice next year to be able to use it earlier in the year while it is still cold outside. Even though it still has open spots, it is already warmer inside of it than the outside temperature. I have taken some pictures during the renovation, and will include them when it is done and I can give a final finished picture.
We are taking another load of trash off today. Jessie is determined to clean off the "trash hill" I talked about in a previous blog. That would be the hill my in-laws used for years to dispose of their trash instead of hauling it off. There are layers and layers of it. I wish her luck in conquering it.
While we are in town, we will also be picking up some spark plugs and wires for Jeff to tune up our Nissan. I am so thankful that he is able to do things like that for us instead of paying someone else to do it.
When we get back, I am determined to start tons of tomato and pepper seeds that I haven't been able to get to this week. Jeff said if we have too many, we will stick them in the ground somewhere out of the garden even if we only get a small harvest off of them.
We are probably not going to be too productive today other than that because of the rain, and we have a couple of movies to watch, which we don't do too often.
This is a picture of lattice that we added to one side of the entrance to my garden. You can't really see it, but there is a new red climbing rose bush that will hopefully flourish up the lattice this summer. I will post a picture when it does. It is the only rose bush we currently have.
I hope everyone has a marvelous weekend with friends and family!
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
All-natural Healthy Recipe for Homemade Mouthwash
I made a quart of this recipe today, but didn't put all of it in the bathroom at once. I had a small empty maple syrup jar that I put it in and labelled it. It took me no more than 5 minutes from start to finish, once I assembled the ingredients.
Here's the recipe:
1 c water
2 t baking soda
1/2 t myrrh tincture (I didn't have this for this batch, so I skipped it and it was fine. It will just be a lot more medicinally effective with it included)
4 drops tea tree oil
4 drops of one of these (cinnamon oil, peppermint oil, lemon oil)
1 t vodka (I didn't use this either, but I may next time)
1/8 t stevia (If you don't mind unsweet mouthwash, you don't have to use this. You can also start with less, if you don't want it very sweet)
You can also add a drop or two of any or all of these: clove oil, spearmint oil, rosemary oil
You can substitute the water for mineral water to make it even healthier.
I used cinnamon oil, and it has a bit of a hot bite to it, but I like it. The oils I actually ended up using were: cinnamon oil, lemon oil, spearmint oil, and a micro drop of clove oil because that was all I had before it ran out. You can make the recipe as is, or add or delete as you desire. I almost always do something different.
I have found quality oils at a reasonable price at planttherapy.com. These oils are steam distilled with no chemicals added.
If you prefer, you can get several of the oils if you click on the More Than Alive logo on the side of my blog. They have lemon oil, peppermint oil, and clove oil, which would be sufficient to make a good mouthwash. Also, if you have a health food store in your area, they may carry essential oils.
You can get stevia at Wal-Mart or Kroger that would work to sweeten your mouthwash. Just don't get a blend which has other sweetening ingredients, which may not be good to leave on your teeth. You could also order it HERE. This is pure stevia, with no added ingredients like glucose, which you will find in a lot of stevia in grocery stores. Glucose may not be good to put in a mouthwash to sit on your teeth, so it may be best to buy pure stevia, or leave your mouthwash unsweetened.
I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as we have! Feel free to share this post with your friends.
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (Find us on Facebook here)
Here's the recipe:
1 c water
2 t baking soda
1/2 t myrrh tincture (I didn't have this for this batch, so I skipped it and it was fine. It will just be a lot more medicinally effective with it included)
4 drops tea tree oil
4 drops of one of these (cinnamon oil, peppermint oil, lemon oil)
1 t vodka (I didn't use this either, but I may next time)
1/8 t stevia (If you don't mind unsweet mouthwash, you don't have to use this. You can also start with less, if you don't want it very sweet)
You can also add a drop or two of any or all of these: clove oil, spearmint oil, rosemary oil
You can substitute the water for mineral water to make it even healthier.
I used cinnamon oil, and it has a bit of a hot bite to it, but I like it. The oils I actually ended up using were: cinnamon oil, lemon oil, spearmint oil, and a micro drop of clove oil because that was all I had before it ran out. You can make the recipe as is, or add or delete as you desire. I almost always do something different.
I have found quality oils at a reasonable price at planttherapy.com. These oils are steam distilled with no chemicals added.
If you prefer, you can get several of the oils if you click on the More Than Alive logo on the side of my blog. They have lemon oil, peppermint oil, and clove oil, which would be sufficient to make a good mouthwash. Also, if you have a health food store in your area, they may carry essential oils.
You can get stevia at Wal-Mart or Kroger that would work to sweeten your mouthwash. Just don't get a blend which has other sweetening ingredients, which may not be good to leave on your teeth. You could also order it HERE. This is pure stevia, with no added ingredients like glucose, which you will find in a lot of stevia in grocery stores. Glucose may not be good to put in a mouthwash to sit on your teeth, so it may be best to buy pure stevia, or leave your mouthwash unsweetened.
I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as we have! Feel free to share this post with your friends.
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (Find us on Facebook here)
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Things you may not know about me
I love to read blog posts like this on the blogs I follow. It makes me feel more intimately acquainted with the writer to get a deeper look into who they are. So here are a few knowledge bits about me:
When I was a kid, I cried every year when Frosty the Snowman melted. My husband will claim I did it after I grew up too, but I won't own up to that....
I am not crazy about pasta. I would NEVER waste money ordering it at a restaurant (I want meat and sustenance when I eat out!), and when I make it at home for the family, I normally eat something else.
I loved playing softball as a teenager. I played second base for a team called the Tigerettes. One time, I made an awesome diving catch that I never came close to replicating.
As a child, I was fascinated with any body of water that I could swim in. I learned to swim when I was around 3. My parents took me to the World's Fair in Knoxville in 1982 (I was 11), and the thing I was most fascinated with was the 15 inches of water that connected two buildings.
I HATE seafood. This is not a religious belief. I will eat catfish at one restaurant in town if it is deep- fried and there are no fishy tasting pieces in it. We do that maybe once every two years, sometimes even less often. Everything else, YUK!
I would rather have a non-venomous snake in my house than a mouse or a rat.
When I have a sore throat, I want to drink a soda (even though I have mostly given them up). Sometimes I give in because the burn makes it feel better. My children never let me hear the end of it when I do. Fortunately, I have discovered Kroger's has Zevia, which is a healthier (but not healthy) alternative to traditional soda. It is sweetened with Stevia.
One of the first things that attracted me to my husband was his hairy chest peeking out of his Coca-Cola uniform (he was a route driver at the time). I know, TMI! I don't apologize for my almost 25 year fascination with it (and him) though.
I hate NASCAR, UFC, professional wrestling, professional baseball, and golf. I can tolerate professional basketball and volleyball. I LOVE football, but not the drama and junk that accompanies it.
I love the series Monk. But not all the episodes. Some we have restricted ourselves from watching.
I love our ClearPlay that bleeps out all cursing and sex from movies. We still don't rent rated R movies (maybe if it was a good war movie).
I DO NOT play any online games except Words with Friends, which is like Scrabble. I am fairly good, so if you like to play, start a game with me.
I have no rhythm. If I could choose two skills to have in heaven, I would want to dance and sing a LOT better than I do now.
I have had allergies since I went to Land Between the Lakes in 6th grade. I sneeze loudly at least 3 times every day. It's a running joke for those that know me well. If my kids can tell I am about to sneeze, they stick their fingers in their ears. They actually warn each other. True story.
I do not like the mall. I feel spiritually oppressed every time I enter it, so I avoid it. Once every couple of years, I may go to JCPenney to check out the prices of camisoles and tanks for layering, if I haven't found any at yard sales.
I don't have to spend a lot of money on clothes, and I don't have to be properly "in style." I like what I like, and I don't care if it's in style or not.
I don't normally wear jewelry. Every once in a blue moon, I will put on a piece or two that I have had forever, but I don't prefer it.
I do not like to see the toilet plunger in the bathroom. If I see it, I usually hide it out of sight until someone gets it back out and leaves it out again.
When Jessie (19) was small, I had RK surgery on my eyes, the kind where they actually make cuts with a scalpel. I had the maximum number of cuts allowed. I was very near-sighted. I can still remember waking up in the middle of the night after I had my surgery and actually being able to see without contacts or glasses.
I am the baby of my family. I have 2 sisters and 1 brother. My mother-in-law is the baby of her family too. We both can be rotten at times.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Saturday on the Homestead: March 15, 2014
We had a busy weekend so far on the homestead. Jessie and I painted the remaining windows that are going on the greenhouse, and Jeff got them all installed, which is a major accomplishment and a HUGE step forward to getting it all done.
Amber and Josh moved 2000 pounds of sand yesterday, and today they took down some fencing that we are relocating. Amber also cleaned and did some laundry. She is now upstairs cleaning her room and listening to her audio tapes. Joshua is on supper duty. He is making us chocolate chip pancakes, turkey bacon and scrambled eggs.
I got the front of my garden door painted and I will do the other side in a couple of days when the rain goes away. I also got a 4x5 bed of different kinds of salad greens planted and a 4x6 bed of parsley.
Jessie gathered several cans worth of trash on our "hill" where my in-laws dumped their trash when Jeff was young. I'm not sure if this was a common practice in the country back in the day, but the resulting mess years later sometimes drives me crazy!
My legs are sore from squatting up and down yesterday painting those windows. I have been hobbling around like a little old woman all day. I am sure I amused everyone in the family. I have no doubt tomorrow Jeff is going to be even more sore than me from climbing up and down the ladder all day today.
I wanted to say thank you for all those who have used my Amazon affiliate links to order something. It is one way a stay-at-home mom can help make extra funds for the family.
I am bone weary, so I am going to make this one short and sweet. I appreciate you for taking the time to keep up with our family.
Sincerely,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Amber and Josh moved 2000 pounds of sand yesterday, and today they took down some fencing that we are relocating. Amber also cleaned and did some laundry. She is now upstairs cleaning her room and listening to her audio tapes. Joshua is on supper duty. He is making us chocolate chip pancakes, turkey bacon and scrambled eggs.
I got the front of my garden door painted and I will do the other side in a couple of days when the rain goes away. I also got a 4x5 bed of different kinds of salad greens planted and a 4x6 bed of parsley.
Jessie gathered several cans worth of trash on our "hill" where my in-laws dumped their trash when Jeff was young. I'm not sure if this was a common practice in the country back in the day, but the resulting mess years later sometimes drives me crazy!
My legs are sore from squatting up and down yesterday painting those windows. I have been hobbling around like a little old woman all day. I am sure I amused everyone in the family. I have no doubt tomorrow Jeff is going to be even more sore than me from climbing up and down the ladder all day today.
I wanted to say thank you for all those who have used my Amazon affiliate links to order something. It is one way a stay-at-home mom can help make extra funds for the family.
I am bone weary, so I am going to make this one short and sweet. I appreciate you for taking the time to keep up with our family.
Sincerely,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Raise your children to grow up, not stay home
Child psychologists were told recently of a change in the age group of children they would be counseling. The age range that they could evaluate changed from 0-18 to 0-25.
25?! Are you kidding me? I find this absolutely absurd, and I hope the majority of people who read this do too.
Our job as parents is to raise our children to be independent, hard-working, well-balanced individuals who can make wise choices fairly young in life. By young, I mean that by 18 they can definitely choose wisely if they are raised to be wise, and by 25 they should have been supporting themselves for quite awhile.
Sometimes this support can be in the form of working and paying us for the expense of living in our homes until they get married or until they follow God's call on their lives. In that scenario, they would still be working hard to help run the household. They would be saving a good portion of that money for their futures, and not blowing it indiscriminately on things they don't need.
The concept of teenager-ism has not been around that long. In Biblical times, boys were boys, and then they were men. There was no expectation of "self-discovery" or rebellion against authority. That is actually, I believe, a scheme of the enemy (Satan) to cause chaos in the family, to emasculate men, and to keep them from growing into strong, Godly leaders of families like God intends.
I am raising my son (14) to be strong, to have the expectation to work hard, to save for his future, and to expect to work for funds at the earliest opportunity. He knows he will be the provider for his future family. He also knows that if he is still at home until he finds a wife that he will be helping support our household with some of his funds.
He does not get to veg out in front of media for hours a day, nor does he get to tell us (his parents) when and what he is going to do. He has things that he has to accomplish each school day, including helping to keep the house clean and organized. He gets some free time at the end of his school day, and sometimes in between accomplishments. His weekends are his to order, but he does have various jobs he is asked to do to help out his dad. He has loads of fun, but in the context and lifestyle of hard, productive work.
In other words, we are raising him daily to be a man, not a boy. We don't cater to childish, faddish whims, which are normally expensive, foolish, and unproductive. We don't want a sissy boy-man who at 20 sits in his parent's basement drinking beer and staring at his video screen. No way. Seriously, we love him too much to let him waste his youth like so many are doing. We encourage him to make goals, to hone his skills, to learn new things daily.
We do this with all of our children, but since girls normally mature more easily and quickly than boys, I am focusing on them. Because the majority of time-wasting, still-at-home, living off parents without contributing a single dime or even a single ounce of house-cleaning effort are boys.
Boys that should be old enough to act like and be called men. I am not even sure why parents would want their children to be perpetual children, never able to support themselves and make reasonable contributions to society.
Even if the only job my child could find was at a fast-food restaurant cleaning toilets, we would encourage him to take it and excel at it until or if he found something else. Because regardless of what prevailing thought may be, a job is a job, and that is a blessing these days.
God says to work hard at whatever work our hands find, and sometimes that work isn't what we might prefer. But that's okay. If you are a frugal person, avoid stupid "have to have" purchases that waste your money, stay out of debt, and save as much as possible, just about any job can support you.
When we spend our parenting years catering to our children's every whim, every technological advance, and every spoiled name brand clothing desire, they grow up with a too-elevated standard of living expectation. They are going to need to start their jobs at $50,000+ to maintain what they are used to.
Ridiculous!
Kids don't need nearly as much as they think they do, and despite popular opinion, they DO survive not having everything they want. It also makes them MUCH nicer to have around while they are growing up, and after they are grown as well.
The moral of this story is to resist being a "keeping up with the Jones" type of parent. Make your children work hard and play hard. Instill wisdom in them regarding media, set limits and standards and stick to them no matter what.
It takes time and effort to raise kids properly, and be willing to invest that time. Resist the prevailing "I deserve lots of ME time" baloney that has infected families. Our kids are worth the extra time it takes to raise them to be strong, disciplined and ready to leave and make their own families when the time comes.
If you see that your kids are addicted to some kind of media while they are still home, do something about it. If you see that they are disrespectful or won't obey when asked to help out around the house, do something about it.
We are the parents. We are the ones in charge. Not them.
They get to be in charge when they have their own households that they are paying for. The standard of living that we can provide for them is a privilege, not a right. They have a right to be clothed, fed, housed, and educated. Anything above that is a blessing, and they should be taught to see it as such.
It's okay to take away ipads, ipods, smart phones, and video game systems as consequences for poor behavior. It is also okay to never purchase these things in the first place. Or to let them work hard and save up for them. This actually makes possessions more valuable to them, and they end up taking better care of them.
Let's have a revival of good old-fashioned parenting.
Parenting that is not afraid of tough love for the ultimate benefit of our child. Parenting that is willing to turn off the television (that we are watching) to enforce something that we have told our child, but he isn't listening to us. Parenting that knows that doing without certain things is actually beneficial to our children, and parenting that isn't afraid to make them work hard for something they want.
Chances are if they have to save for it themselves, they will often decide that they didn't need it so badly after all.
Parenting that is willing to deliberately think out reasonable consequences for actions that are undesirable in our children. Parenting that expects obedience throughout childhood and adolescence without the expectation of rebellion.
Teach them to be adults, not teenagers. Train them to work hard. Give them consequences for disobedience. Love them wholeheartedly by not giving in to their every whim. Have high expectations, and lead and guide them when they fail.
Let's raise a generation of well-adjusted, hard-working, non-media-addicted adults who can go out into society and not need CHILD counseling at 25 years old.
There are enough non-productive child-adults living at home at 40. Let's not add our children to those statistics. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Click HERE for some books by Bob Schultz on how to raise young boys to be self-disciplined men who work hard. (affiliate link)
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (Find me on Facebook here)
25?! Are you kidding me? I find this absolutely absurd, and I hope the majority of people who read this do too.
Our job as parents is to raise our children to be independent, hard-working, well-balanced individuals who can make wise choices fairly young in life. By young, I mean that by 18 they can definitely choose wisely if they are raised to be wise, and by 25 they should have been supporting themselves for quite awhile.
Sometimes this support can be in the form of working and paying us for the expense of living in our homes until they get married or until they follow God's call on their lives. In that scenario, they would still be working hard to help run the household. They would be saving a good portion of that money for their futures, and not blowing it indiscriminately on things they don't need.
The concept of teenager-ism has not been around that long. In Biblical times, boys were boys, and then they were men. There was no expectation of "self-discovery" or rebellion against authority. That is actually, I believe, a scheme of the enemy (Satan) to cause chaos in the family, to emasculate men, and to keep them from growing into strong, Godly leaders of families like God intends.
I am raising my son (14) to be strong, to have the expectation to work hard, to save for his future, and to expect to work for funds at the earliest opportunity. He knows he will be the provider for his future family. He also knows that if he is still at home until he finds a wife that he will be helping support our household with some of his funds.
He does not get to veg out in front of media for hours a day, nor does he get to tell us (his parents) when and what he is going to do. He has things that he has to accomplish each school day, including helping to keep the house clean and organized. He gets some free time at the end of his school day, and sometimes in between accomplishments. His weekends are his to order, but he does have various jobs he is asked to do to help out his dad. He has loads of fun, but in the context and lifestyle of hard, productive work.
In other words, we are raising him daily to be a man, not a boy. We don't cater to childish, faddish whims, which are normally expensive, foolish, and unproductive. We don't want a sissy boy-man who at 20 sits in his parent's basement drinking beer and staring at his video screen. No way. Seriously, we love him too much to let him waste his youth like so many are doing. We encourage him to make goals, to hone his skills, to learn new things daily.
We do this with all of our children, but since girls normally mature more easily and quickly than boys, I am focusing on them. Because the majority of time-wasting, still-at-home, living off parents without contributing a single dime or even a single ounce of house-cleaning effort are boys.
Boys that should be old enough to act like and be called men. I am not even sure why parents would want their children to be perpetual children, never able to support themselves and make reasonable contributions to society.
Even if the only job my child could find was at a fast-food restaurant cleaning toilets, we would encourage him to take it and excel at it until or if he found something else. Because regardless of what prevailing thought may be, a job is a job, and that is a blessing these days.
God says to work hard at whatever work our hands find, and sometimes that work isn't what we might prefer. But that's okay. If you are a frugal person, avoid stupid "have to have" purchases that waste your money, stay out of debt, and save as much as possible, just about any job can support you.
When we spend our parenting years catering to our children's every whim, every technological advance, and every spoiled name brand clothing desire, they grow up with a too-elevated standard of living expectation. They are going to need to start their jobs at $50,000+ to maintain what they are used to.
Ridiculous!
Kids don't need nearly as much as they think they do, and despite popular opinion, they DO survive not having everything they want. It also makes them MUCH nicer to have around while they are growing up, and after they are grown as well.
The moral of this story is to resist being a "keeping up with the Jones" type of parent. Make your children work hard and play hard. Instill wisdom in them regarding media, set limits and standards and stick to them no matter what.
It takes time and effort to raise kids properly, and be willing to invest that time. Resist the prevailing "I deserve lots of ME time" baloney that has infected families. Our kids are worth the extra time it takes to raise them to be strong, disciplined and ready to leave and make their own families when the time comes.
If you see that your kids are addicted to some kind of media while they are still home, do something about it. If you see that they are disrespectful or won't obey when asked to help out around the house, do something about it.
We are the parents. We are the ones in charge. Not them.
They get to be in charge when they have their own households that they are paying for. The standard of living that we can provide for them is a privilege, not a right. They have a right to be clothed, fed, housed, and educated. Anything above that is a blessing, and they should be taught to see it as such.
It's okay to take away ipads, ipods, smart phones, and video game systems as consequences for poor behavior. It is also okay to never purchase these things in the first place. Or to let them work hard and save up for them. This actually makes possessions more valuable to them, and they end up taking better care of them.
Let's have a revival of good old-fashioned parenting.
Parenting that is not afraid of tough love for the ultimate benefit of our child. Parenting that is willing to turn off the television (that we are watching) to enforce something that we have told our child, but he isn't listening to us. Parenting that knows that doing without certain things is actually beneficial to our children, and parenting that isn't afraid to make them work hard for something they want.
Chances are if they have to save for it themselves, they will often decide that they didn't need it so badly after all.
Parenting that is willing to deliberately think out reasonable consequences for actions that are undesirable in our children. Parenting that expects obedience throughout childhood and adolescence without the expectation of rebellion.
Teach them to be adults, not teenagers. Train them to work hard. Give them consequences for disobedience. Love them wholeheartedly by not giving in to their every whim. Have high expectations, and lead and guide them when they fail.
Let's raise a generation of well-adjusted, hard-working, non-media-addicted adults who can go out into society and not need CHILD counseling at 25 years old.
There are enough non-productive child-adults living at home at 40. Let's not add our children to those statistics. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Click HERE for some books by Bob Schultz on how to raise young boys to be self-disciplined men who work hard. (affiliate link)
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (Find me on Facebook here)
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Why college is not for everybody
It is what is expected after high school. It doesn't matter what your skill set is, what your calling may be, or what you actually WANT to do with your life. There is this unreasonable expectation that you must attend college or you will not amount to anything worthy.
I call it being a lemming, named after an animal and also an old, old DOS computer game about creatures that follow along with the crowd blindly without thinking for themselves.
Anyone that knows me well knows that I am ANTI-follow-everybody-blindly to the max. If everyone is buying it, doing it, watching it, or going there, odds are great that I will probably think long and hard about it, and most of the time I won't be following along. I like being different, and I like knowing that I am my own person not easily influenced by popular culture.
I disagree wholeheartedly with the idea that college is for everyone, or even that college benefits everyone. Some people don't benefit by it at all, and some even come away having lost their faith, their virginity, or their health from drinking/drugging/sexing too much.
I attended college on a full leadership scholarship. All throughout high school, I never considered any other options, and no other options were presented to me by anyone else. Within a semester and a half of graduating with an education degree, God called me to homeschool my daughter, who was then in public school in first grade.
The rest is history. I won't say that my education up to that point was wasted, because God can use anything, but I could have homeschooled them just as adequately with my high school education.
The point of all of that was to say that I am NOT completely anti-college. I just don't think it an option for every single high school graduate. I don't even know that it is a good choice for most high school graduates. A good number of high school graduates are not even mature enough to attend college with purpose and not waste a lot of time and money partying and floundering around, not even knowing what they want to major in.
I think waiting at least a couple of years for some maturity to set in would help some who need to attend to work in their field of choice. That time can be used to work, save money for attending, and planning and making goals about what they actually want to do in life. Maturity levels have definitely decreased in our nation, and most 18-19 year olds are NOT ready to do college correctly.
Correctly as in actually attending classes with purpose, with goals in mind and partying not in mind. Correctly as in not skipping as many classes as can be gotten away with, and in actually putting effort into research papers and projects.
For those of us who are trying to raise our children in our faith, it can be daunting to send young, immature adults into the anti-religious atmosphere of a lot of universities. Unless one's faith is super-strong, it can be a dangerous time of testing.
I wouldn't encourage my children to go unless they actually felt God calling them to a specific vocation that required a degree. Amber, my fifteen year old, feels called to be a doctor, but has decided that attending college in Kenya where she wants to minister is where she would benefit the most.
I am glad, because people actually take their educations seriously in Africa. I am very much in favor of learning as much as we can about the world around us all throughout our lives. I am just not in favor of the mockery a lot of universities are becoming in attaining that knowledge, nor do I think that we all need or desire the same knowledge. I am definitely not in favor of the Socialist, anti-gun, anti-religious liberty cesspools they are becoming.
When you take it apart logically, it really doesn't make sense that one path in life for high school graduates could all be the same. We are all made individually, with different futures doing completely different things. A few of those possible choices can be attained with a college degree, but there is no way that all of them require a degree. And there is no point wasting time and money on something you aren't going to need, all at the jeopardy of being sucked into the anti-religious atmospheres and complete debauchery that is rampant on most campuses.
Some of the persistent propaganda that you will hear on economic reports and the news is that everyone needs a degree to even make enough to life a basic lifestyle. I have heard and read this repeatedly, and it is simply untrue and incorrect. A person can have a basic non-degreed job, work hard, live frugally, and stay out of debt, and be able to pay all of their bills and feed themselves and their families just fine.
They may not be dining on much steak and lobster, but there is nothing wrong or joy-robbing about living a basic, simple and peaceful lifestyle free of a lot of the materialistic trappings. I can say this with authority, because we do it and we know numerous families that do it as well.
I have heard people scorn those with basic blue-collar jobs, like the only people worthy of consideration and respect are those with white-collar degreed positions. Personally, I have found that there is more contentment, peace and family togetherness in families whose main bread-winner has a blue-collared job. When he or she clocks out, he is done and can leave the job behind and focus on more important things. Stress levels are also usually considerably less at these positions, which makes for better health.
Not that it is wrong to find fulfillment in your job, but it is definitely not the source of lasting fulfillment and contentment. That comes from within, and can be carried with us wherever we go, whether we are working at home, working at being the local trash collector, or working defending clients in court.
You can tell when someone has fallen for this propaganda that high school graduates should attend college when they ask the graduate either what their plans are or where they are going to college. This is followed by a scornful remark or silence if the graduate doesn't answer the question with "college". I have experienced it when I was younger, and my older children have both experienced these pointed questions as well.
These are the times when I just wish people would learn to think for themselves and understand that everyone's life walk is not going to look the same, and that is perfectly acceptable and even wonderful.
Truly understanding that success is not measured in the size of your annual salary, the abundance of your possessions or the initials after your name, is a definite step towards wisdom. Success is knowing what God has called you to do and doing that thing with all of your heart. Jesus was a very humble man who wasn't impressed with riches or haughiness, and he definitely wouldn't be looking down and thinking less of those with more humble positions in life.
And we shouldn't either.
Not only should we not look down on them as less successful, we should rejoice that they are individuals who have made their own choices, which are different than other people's choices. Anyone who works hard deserves respect; it doesn't matter what work they are doing.
If I could help one young person actually evaluate their lives, think about what their natural giftings and interests are, see where God might be leading them, and make an informed, wise choice based on those things, I would be blessed. I truly hope this post helps correct some incorrect thinking about these things.
Here are some books on the subject you can click on to add to your library:
College is not for everyone
Success Without College
Is College Worth It? (By a former United States Secretary of Education)
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
I call it being a lemming, named after an animal and also an old, old DOS computer game about creatures that follow along with the crowd blindly without thinking for themselves.
Anyone that knows me well knows that I am ANTI-follow-everybody-blindly to the max. If everyone is buying it, doing it, watching it, or going there, odds are great that I will probably think long and hard about it, and most of the time I won't be following along. I like being different, and I like knowing that I am my own person not easily influenced by popular culture.
I disagree wholeheartedly with the idea that college is for everyone, or even that college benefits everyone. Some people don't benefit by it at all, and some even come away having lost their faith, their virginity, or their health from drinking/drugging/sexing too much.
I attended college on a full leadership scholarship. All throughout high school, I never considered any other options, and no other options were presented to me by anyone else. Within a semester and a half of graduating with an education degree, God called me to homeschool my daughter, who was then in public school in first grade.
The rest is history. I won't say that my education up to that point was wasted, because God can use anything, but I could have homeschooled them just as adequately with my high school education.
The point of all of that was to say that I am NOT completely anti-college. I just don't think it an option for every single high school graduate. I don't even know that it is a good choice for most high school graduates. A good number of high school graduates are not even mature enough to attend college with purpose and not waste a lot of time and money partying and floundering around, not even knowing what they want to major in.
I think waiting at least a couple of years for some maturity to set in would help some who need to attend to work in their field of choice. That time can be used to work, save money for attending, and planning and making goals about what they actually want to do in life. Maturity levels have definitely decreased in our nation, and most 18-19 year olds are NOT ready to do college correctly.
Correctly as in actually attending classes with purpose, with goals in mind and partying not in mind. Correctly as in not skipping as many classes as can be gotten away with, and in actually putting effort into research papers and projects.
For those of us who are trying to raise our children in our faith, it can be daunting to send young, immature adults into the anti-religious atmosphere of a lot of universities. Unless one's faith is super-strong, it can be a dangerous time of testing.
I wouldn't encourage my children to go unless they actually felt God calling them to a specific vocation that required a degree. Amber, my fifteen year old, feels called to be a doctor, but has decided that attending college in Kenya where she wants to minister is where she would benefit the most.
I am glad, because people actually take their educations seriously in Africa. I am very much in favor of learning as much as we can about the world around us all throughout our lives. I am just not in favor of the mockery a lot of universities are becoming in attaining that knowledge, nor do I think that we all need or desire the same knowledge. I am definitely not in favor of the Socialist, anti-gun, anti-religious liberty cesspools they are becoming.
When you take it apart logically, it really doesn't make sense that one path in life for high school graduates could all be the same. We are all made individually, with different futures doing completely different things. A few of those possible choices can be attained with a college degree, but there is no way that all of them require a degree. And there is no point wasting time and money on something you aren't going to need, all at the jeopardy of being sucked into the anti-religious atmospheres and complete debauchery that is rampant on most campuses.
Some of the persistent propaganda that you will hear on economic reports and the news is that everyone needs a degree to even make enough to life a basic lifestyle. I have heard and read this repeatedly, and it is simply untrue and incorrect. A person can have a basic non-degreed job, work hard, live frugally, and stay out of debt, and be able to pay all of their bills and feed themselves and their families just fine.
They may not be dining on much steak and lobster, but there is nothing wrong or joy-robbing about living a basic, simple and peaceful lifestyle free of a lot of the materialistic trappings. I can say this with authority, because we do it and we know numerous families that do it as well.
I have heard people scorn those with basic blue-collar jobs, like the only people worthy of consideration and respect are those with white-collar degreed positions. Personally, I have found that there is more contentment, peace and family togetherness in families whose main bread-winner has a blue-collared job. When he or she clocks out, he is done and can leave the job behind and focus on more important things. Stress levels are also usually considerably less at these positions, which makes for better health.
Not that it is wrong to find fulfillment in your job, but it is definitely not the source of lasting fulfillment and contentment. That comes from within, and can be carried with us wherever we go, whether we are working at home, working at being the local trash collector, or working defending clients in court.
You can tell when someone has fallen for this propaganda that high school graduates should attend college when they ask the graduate either what their plans are or where they are going to college. This is followed by a scornful remark or silence if the graduate doesn't answer the question with "college". I have experienced it when I was younger, and my older children have both experienced these pointed questions as well.
These are the times when I just wish people would learn to think for themselves and understand that everyone's life walk is not going to look the same, and that is perfectly acceptable and even wonderful.
Truly understanding that success is not measured in the size of your annual salary, the abundance of your possessions or the initials after your name, is a definite step towards wisdom. Success is knowing what God has called you to do and doing that thing with all of your heart. Jesus was a very humble man who wasn't impressed with riches or haughiness, and he definitely wouldn't be looking down and thinking less of those with more humble positions in life.
And we shouldn't either.
Not only should we not look down on them as less successful, we should rejoice that they are individuals who have made their own choices, which are different than other people's choices. Anyone who works hard deserves respect; it doesn't matter what work they are doing.
If I could help one young person actually evaluate their lives, think about what their natural giftings and interests are, see where God might be leading them, and make an informed, wise choice based on those things, I would be blessed. I truly hope this post helps correct some incorrect thinking about these things.
Here are some books on the subject you can click on to add to your library:
College is not for everyone
Success Without College
Is College Worth It? (By a former United States Secretary of Education)
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
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