For several years now, God has given me a burden for marriages. More specifically, He compels me to post articles and to also blog about things that pertain to making marriages better. There are times I can't relax or think about anything else until I have shared what I feel Him telling me . So if I seem obsessive, or compulsive, at times with my posts, that is the reason why. I can't rest with a peaceful conscience until I listen.
We all know that marriages are failing daily. As an "older" woman now, I am instructed in the Bible to encourage women to submit to their husbands, make their houses into homes, and love and train their children. I take this command very seriously, and I pray that more older women rise to the challenge as well.
For the past couple of weeks now, I have been praying faithfully for all of my Facebook friends who are married. There are those who mock Facebook, and there is undoubtedly much to mock, but there is a real community on there as well, people who are hurting and who look for answers nowhere else but there. I know that with as many FB friends as I have, there must be many hurting, and even some failing, marriages. I care and want to help you, because with over 25 years of marriage, I have experienced many things, including being on the brink of separation.
In fact, there isn't too much we haven't experienced, some things I am not at liberty to be specific about yet, but you can take me at my word. It takes a lot of dedication, prayer, determination and forgiveness to make a marriage successful. I think a good first step is to completely and irrevocably remove the word DIVORCE from both of your vocabularies.
When divorce remains an option, couples tend to not be willing to do the hard things to make it work. There are seasons of marriage when hard work to make it work is all that is happening. But the eventual intimacy and love that develop because of hard work are SO worth it. Not only that, you can also assure yourself during the process that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side, and it is also not greener to be alone.
I am going to make this into several posts to share a few things I have learned in my journey of marriage. But I wanted to start out by letting you know I have been praying for your marriage.
Some of the things I have been praying for you and your spouse:
- that you will have a determination to make your marriage work, regardless of what it takes.
- that if any pornography is being viewed by either side, or together, that the offender will be convicted to stop immediately (this is a death sentence to intimacy, trust and sexual ability)
- that wives will be willing to submit and let their husbands be the head of their households in every way
- that husbands (and wives) will be faithful and monogamous with their thoughts and eyes daily and in every form of media and in real life and with their actions as well
- that wives would stop every form of emotional or sexual manipulation they may be using against their husbands (to include the silent treatment, sexual withholding, eye rolling, huffing or sarcastic remarks, bribing)
There are other things as well that I will get into in future posts, but that is plenty to think about for now. If you have specific prayer requests for your marriage, you can message me and be assured that it will go no further than myself. I love you guys, and I desire fervently for all of your marriages to be glorious. I also believe that every single one can be glorious eventually with hard work, prayer and God's guiding hand.
I sincerely hope that you will be willing, along with your spouse, or despite your spouse, if necessary for the moment, to do whatever it takes to prosper your marriage.
Jeff and I have made it through a lot of things, and some of it has been very ugly. At times, it has seemed that quitting would be easier than working it out, and no doubt it would have been the easy way out. But I will always be thankful that we stuck it out, worked it out, prayed it out, and loved it out. Our intimacy has never been sweeter because of it. I hope this gives someone hope.
For now,
Debbie
Life as the mother of four children and four grandchildren. Homeschooling the two still at home. Things that interest me - reading, herbs and essential oils, gardening, natural chemical-free living, and continually learning how to be a better wife.
Sunday, February 14, 2016
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Our Big News
Good morning! It is a COLD one here in Tennessee, and we remain thankful for our warm wood stove. We have had some big news to share for a couple of months now.
To recap our current living situation, we moved from the city where we had been for over 20 years in a house we had purchased . Jeff had desired to move to the country for years, and at the time, I was quite content to be a city girl.
My mother-in-law thought she was getting dementia, so she moved from her old home to several miles away with her daughter, Angie- Jeff's sister. This left her house unoccupied, so we sold our house and moved to her house in the country.
We have lived here about 5 years now, and due to circumstances beyond our control, have had to look into doing something else. We had the option of putting a small home of some kind somewhere else here where we are, but after consideration, Jeff decided we needed to look elsewhere for something, either unfinished property, or a small home with a few acres.
The acreage was more important to him, so near the holidays, we ended up focusing on bare land. After many false starts, we found a place only about 7 miles from where we are now.
It is 18.5 acres, and it has an old trailer on it that we are currently tearing down. It is completely wooded, except for around a 1/2 acre. It sits up on a hill, and our driveway is VERY steep. Once we clear the part towards the road, an acre or so will be cleared.
It is going to be so beautiful when we are done. God has blessed us , and we are thankful. We don't know yet what we will do as far as a home goes, but I will share the stages my thinking has gone through in the last few months.
First, I knew I didn't want the stress of building. I said we were too old for all that malarkey. Then, we decided to put a manufactured home on it. We looked at them, and some are really nice. In the last few days however, God has put a verse in my heart that I want to share.
"Be content with the things that you have...". As I pondered this message, I came to the following conclusions:
1. This world is not our permanent home, so we
really don't NEED anything fancy or expensive
2. I don't want to put my husband in debt for
years to come.
3. We won't have the kids at home too much
longer, and two people do not need much
room.
So, in light of that, we are going to use the frame on the trailer we are tearing down, and are going to build something small on it. We already have cabinets, tubs, appliances, etc that we purchased for this house, which is another good reason not to waste money on a manufactured home that comes with all that stuff. We may even do something redneck like attach our camper to it as well.
Who knows? But I am greatly relieved and excited that God has changed this city girl's heart enough that I can be happy with this choice and not put us under the bondage of more debt.
I'll post pictures soon of our progress. Oh, and since it doesn't have a spring on the property, I will be changing the name of my blog once we move. Something with "acres, woods, or hill (s)" probably. If you have suggestions, tell me in the comments.
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
To recap our current living situation, we moved from the city where we had been for over 20 years in a house we had purchased . Jeff had desired to move to the country for years, and at the time, I was quite content to be a city girl.
My mother-in-law thought she was getting dementia, so she moved from her old home to several miles away with her daughter, Angie- Jeff's sister. This left her house unoccupied, so we sold our house and moved to her house in the country.
We have lived here about 5 years now, and due to circumstances beyond our control, have had to look into doing something else. We had the option of putting a small home of some kind somewhere else here where we are, but after consideration, Jeff decided we needed to look elsewhere for something, either unfinished property, or a small home with a few acres.
The acreage was more important to him, so near the holidays, we ended up focusing on bare land. After many false starts, we found a place only about 7 miles from where we are now.
It is 18.5 acres, and it has an old trailer on it that we are currently tearing down. It is completely wooded, except for around a 1/2 acre. It sits up on a hill, and our driveway is VERY steep. Once we clear the part towards the road, an acre or so will be cleared.
It is going to be so beautiful when we are done. God has blessed us , and we are thankful. We don't know yet what we will do as far as a home goes, but I will share the stages my thinking has gone through in the last few months.
First, I knew I didn't want the stress of building. I said we were too old for all that malarkey. Then, we decided to put a manufactured home on it. We looked at them, and some are really nice. In the last few days however, God has put a verse in my heart that I want to share.
"Be content with the things that you have...". As I pondered this message, I came to the following conclusions:
1. This world is not our permanent home, so we
really don't NEED anything fancy or expensive
2. I don't want to put my husband in debt for
years to come.
3. We won't have the kids at home too much
longer, and two people do not need much
room.
So, in light of that, we are going to use the frame on the trailer we are tearing down, and are going to build something small on it. We already have cabinets, tubs, appliances, etc that we purchased for this house, which is another good reason not to waste money on a manufactured home that comes with all that stuff. We may even do something redneck like attach our camper to it as well.
Who knows? But I am greatly relieved and excited that God has changed this city girl's heart enough that I can be happy with this choice and not put us under the bondage of more debt.
I'll post pictures soon of our progress. Oh, and since it doesn't have a spring on the property, I will be changing the name of my blog once we move. Something with "acres, woods, or hill (s)" probably. If you have suggestions, tell me in the comments.
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
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