Married? This Post is for You

For several years now, God has given me a burden for marriages.  More specifically, He compels me to post articles and to also blog about things that pertain to making marriages better. There are times I can't relax or think about anything else until I have shared what I feel Him telling me .  So if I seem obsessive, or compulsive, at times with my posts, that is the reason why.    I can't rest with a peaceful conscience until I listen.

We all know that marriages are failing daily.  As an "older" woman now, I am instructed in the Bible to encourage women to submit to their husbands, make their houses into homes, and love and train their children.  I take this command very seriously, and I pray that more older women rise to the challenge as well. 

For the past couple of weeks now, I have been praying faithfully for all of my Facebook friends who are married.  There are those who mock Facebook, and there is undoubtedly much to mock, but there is a real community on there as well, people who are hurting and who look for answers nowhere else but there.  I know that with as many FB friends as I have, there must be many hurting, and even some failing, marriages.  I care and want to help you, because with over 25 years of marriage, I have experienced many things, including being on the brink of separation.

In fact, there isn't too much we haven't experienced, some things I am not at liberty to be specific about yet, but you can take me at my word.   It takes a lot of dedication, prayer, determination and forgiveness to make a marriage successful.  I think a good first step is to completely and irrevocably remove the word DIVORCE from both of your vocabularies.
 
When divorce remains an option, couples tend to not be willing to do the hard things to make it work.  There are seasons of marriage when hard work to make it work is all that is happening.  But the eventual intimacy and love that develop because of  hard work are SO worth it.  Not only that, you can also assure yourself during the process that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side, and it is also not greener to be alone.

I am going to make this into several posts to share a few things I have learned in my journey of marriage.  But I wanted to start out by letting you know I have been praying for your marriage.

Some of the things I have been praying for you and your spouse:

- that you will have a determination to make your marriage work, regardless of what it takes.

- that if any pornography is being viewed by either side, or together, that the offender will be convicted to stop immediately (this is a death sentence to intimacy, trust and sexual ability)

- that wives will be willing to submit and let their husbands be the head of their households in every way

-  that husbands (and wives) will be faithful and monogamous with their thoughts and eyes daily and in every form of media and in real life and with their actions as well

- that wives would stop every form of emotional or sexual manipulation they may be using against their husbands (to include the silent treatment, sexual withholding, eye rolling, huffing or sarcastic remarks, bribing)

There are other things as well that I will get into in future posts, but that is plenty to think about for now.  If you have specific prayer requests for your marriage, you can message me and be assured that it will go no further than myself.  I love you guys, and I desire fervently for all of your marriages to be glorious.  I also believe that every single one can be glorious eventually with hard work, prayer and God's guiding hand.

I sincerely hope that you will be willing, along with your spouse, or despite your spouse, if necessary for the moment, to do whatever it takes to prosper your marriage.

Jeff and I have made it through a lot of things, and some of it has been very ugly.  At times, it has seemed that quitting would be easier than working it out, and no doubt it would have been the easy way out.  But I will always be thankful that we stuck it out, worked it out, prayed it out, and loved it out.  Our intimacy has never been sweeter because of it.  I hope this gives someone hope.

For now,
Debbie