Embracing your femininity: making men more masculine

Some ladies today seem to prefer emasculated men.   Emasculate means to make weaker or less effective.  Media loves to portray men as the weaker sex, as idiotic fools.  The world is rampant with men who let the women in their lives trample all over them, manipulate them with sex or the lack thereof, or suffer through innumerable silent treatments or nagging sessions.  Is this what God created man to be?  Is this what God created women to be?

I believe God's original intent was for women to be quite feminine, and for men to be manly.  I believe in God's way of the man being the leader of the family, and the woman respecting him as such.  Does that mean all women have to look a certain way or be doormats, and all men have to be competent hunter/gatherers and tyrants?  No...but there are certain characteristics that just about all manly men seem to possess (a blog for another day), and other characteristics that are often seen in feminine women. 

I don't think God ever intended our society to be androgynous, unable to tell who is male and who is female.  He would have created us that way if that were his intent.  My thinking about this subject has (I think) improved over the years (I grew up in a matriarchal household), and I have thoughtfully considered my wise husband's words on what he finds attractive and feminine.

 I think all Christian women should embrace the idea of femininity in their daily lives.  I believe that by resisting it in any form, we are resisting God's best in our lives.  He didn't make a mistake when he made us women.  And regardless of what media tries to shove down our throats, and what society would dearly love us to believe, men and women are different.  We are supposed to be different.  If we act just like men, and do every single thing that men do, we are no longer different. 

We can exude a feminine grace even as we play sports, garden, hunt, or whatever.  I think our husbands glory in us when we do, and I know that it makes them feel more manly when they are around us.  

Here are a few things I think we can do to improve or increase our feminine graces.  These are in no way meant to insult anyone in any way, just an encouragement to embrace all that God wants us as women to be.  I have been guilty of most of them in the past.

1.  Unless your husband is the rare exception that just adores them, get rid of the sweat pants!  Be a respecter of his opinion and ask him if he likes them or finds them attractive.  Let him answer honestly without fear of reprisal.  If he doesn't like them, why on earth would we want to wear them around him???  There are plenty of attractive, feminine lounging pants that are warm, cool, comfortable, soft - whatever you require.  You could even go a step further and ask what colors he likes on you, and buy something in one of those colors.  (*Disclaimer:  I am well aware that this is not the way of the world.  However, it does make for a much better, much more exciting marriage when we actually strive to please our mates.  I can say this with confidence from experiencing the results, and I have also felt the consequences of not really caring)

2.  Embrace polite behavior regarding bodily functions.  A rootin', tootin', belching wife is not femininity at its finest.  I know it can't be helped at times, but we don't have to be crude about it.

3.  Realizing that there are times when we just don't feel well, take care with your appearance.  Again, especially when in the presence of your husband, ask him how he likes you to dress.  (I literally let my husband pick out what I wear on our dates.  He's the one who is going to be looking at it the entire time.)  Ask him how he prefers your hair.  Ask if he likes you to wear make-up or not.  Heels or not.  Even those of us who hate super-high heels (like me) can manage a low heel, which really does make us look more girly. 

There are a lot of attractive people out there, and we SHOULD as wives 100% care what our husbands find attractive and feminine, and attempt to do those things.  I think of it as a hedge of protection I can place around my marriage.  BE the woman he wants.  Of course they are supposed to love us regardless, but don't you want him to desire you?  Shouldn't we care if our husbands think we are frumpy? 

4.  Be wise in seeing that the attitudes that the world cultivates in women are not normally ones that God wants a Christian woman to embrace.  *We are not supposed to be the bosses, ruling our homes and our husbands with an iron thumb.  *We are not supposed to manipulate to get our way, and whine and complain when we don't.  *Sex is not a reward for our husbands when they kow-tow to our will, and a punishment for when they don't.  *We are not supposed to have a "me-first, it's a woman's world" attitude.  These are lies that preclude the destruction of many marriages.  And they aren't very feminine.  And I can guarantee they don't make our men feel very manly.

5.  Be a peacemaker, not an arguer or a complainer.  I know women that never seem to be happy about anything.  If you eat out with them, you can guarantee that they will find something to complain about, and normally end up being rude to the waitress at least once.  And their poor husbands often don't do much that pleases them.  I don't think most of us really desire to be the nagging wife like a dripping faucet that Proverbs warns against.  Don't be a drip!   We can almost always find good in situations to focus on, instead of letting the bad make us act unbecomingly.  Excessive anger is definitely not feminine.

6.  Don't have a "potty mouth".  Oh my goodness, this is a big one.  It is shocking to hear gutter language spew out of the mouths of  "ladies".  Our words are to be sprinkled with grace, and edifying.  There is nothing edifying or gracious (or feminine) about profanity and crudeness.  This includes speaking about things around mixed company that should remain in your bedroom.  Cursing and crudity are among those things that "just about everybody" does, but we shouldn't. 

I don't think every woman's femininity will come across the same.  There are some women who practically float across the room when they walk.  That will never be me.  Like never.  I am a type A personality with a fast walk by nature.  If I concentrate, I can walk slower and more girly.  I try to do this around my husband.  But it doesn't come natural.

Our husbands are important.   They aren't perfect, but nevertheless we should care about pleasing them.  I think the vast majority of men prefer feminine women over androgyny.  Ask your man what he likes and what he thinks is feminine.  Ask him what you could do to better please him.   Then try to do it.  He will feel more masculine, and you will reap the rewards!

For a book on femininity, by an author we love, click HERE.

Blessings,
Debbie  Home at Serenity Springs (My Facebook Page)