Our government and even our educational system supports this belief with no-work-required welfare and food stamp handouts, and grades that aren't earned. Youth sports teams back this belief by handing out trophies to everyone just for showing up. The accepted discipline system of the day for parents supports this by telling us we mustn't offend the psyche of our children with sternness or consequences lest we permanently scar them. The result is a nation of egocentric yahoos that want everything given to them on a silver platter whether they've earned it or not. Even sensible people that know better like myself can fall prey to this mindset.
In my life, this most often manifests itself like this. While out on an errand, driving along and making good progress, somebody will dare to slow down and turn, which slows me down. Gasp! The nerve of that guy. Aggravation ensues. If I had a paint gun, I'd probably spray his window. Same thing if someone pulls out in front of me or changes lanes in front of me, causing me to slow down. I don't always get mad, but it definitely happens more than it should.
Since I have become more aware of how selfish this behavior is, I have taken to reminding myself that those people have as much right to be on the road as I do. And that I slow down others as well when I have to stop and make a turn. We all make turns, right? It doesn't always work to assuage my aggravation, but it has been helping. It is quite ridiculous, really, to get mad at other drivers for slowing down in the normal course of driving. But even knowing and acknowledging that I am being ridiculous doesn't completely take it away.
I have a friend who is aware of Wal-Mart's policy of loading your bags into your cart for you. Most people I know don't have a problem with putting their own bags into their cart after being rung up. Not this particular friend. She will stand there with the attitude stare, and if necessary, the attitude words, to remind the clerk that it is her job to load up the bags. This embarrasses me, and I am glad that I don't go shopping much with her. To me, basic human kindness and courtesy (along with confrontation avoidance) would inspire me to load my own bags into the cart if the clerk isn't so inclined, and I am okay with that. No big deal, right? Apparently it is to some people. The "You owe me attitude" rears its ugly head again.
How about at a restaurant on a waiting list, or in a doctor's office, when someone you perceive to have gotten there after you gets to go first? Don't even go there. First come, first served is the law, and no one had better try to get around it. I have seen fights ensue from someone taking a "claimed" parking spot at the grocery store. Should we even talk about Black Friday? Because I value my life, and I don't tolerate idiocy as well as I used to, I haven't gone in years. We seriously don't need anything that badly, and the products they put on special are usually of a cheap quality anyway.
I think we are all naturally inclined to this self-centered attitude, but in reality, life really isn't about us, and everyone around us has as much right to be there, wherever there is, as we do. The fact also remains that common courtesy will no doubt continue to decline in our society, and that unless we want complete chaos to ensue, SOMEONE has to be the mature one when aggravating situations occur. And if you are like me, these aggravating situations happen every time you go out into public. Where there are people, there is potential for aggravation. Amen? Amen!
For those of us who are believers, we have added incentive to be the voice of kindness and reason in these situations. We are supposed to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, and embracing this selfish, angry attitude definitely does not qualify! So sometimes we just have to buck up, put on our big girl or boy underwear, and let the annoyance roll right over our heads. Let the inconsiderate lump have the parking spot, jump in front of you in line, or whatever else the potentially confrontational situation may be. We will find that our unmerited kindness is much easier on our stress level and frame of mind, thus making us more peaceful people. Why let idiots steal our joy?
However, if YOU are one of these selfish, self-centered, consistently inconsiderate, angry people with the attitude, you'll probably live longer if you learn to get over it. Life is not all about you, or at least it shouldn't be. Quit making everyone around you miserable. Learn to think about others, and yes, even honor them above yourself. Exercise common courtesy and all of those manners your mother probably taught you. You don't always have to be right, or first, and you don't always have to get what you want. You don't even have to get everything you actually deserve, or everything you are owed. It actually makes us happier, more peaceful, way less stressed people to embrace this way of life. Put others first. Be the one who does the right thing.
Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs
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