Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Swimming Upstream: Living a counter-cultural life

It's been awhile since I have blogged, so I have a lot of thoughts built up in my head. I have a daughter,son-in-law and grandson in Africa and a daughter volunteering her time at Above Rubies about an hour and fifteen minutes from home, so the house is a lot quieter these days, with just Amber (13) and Josh (12) here with me during the day. I guess the point of this post is to share about our lives with its challenges and immense joys, and to say that the challenge of "swimming upstream" against the norms of our day can be discouraging at times, but that the life it has produced is well worth the effort and sometimes persecution.

I believe that daily routines are important in providing security to children, so our days during the school week (we homeschool) look much the same. They have a schedule for breakfast during the week which they are responsible for making (ex. Monday-oatmeal, Tuesday-eggs and biscuits or toast, Wednesday-Peanut butter and toast, etc) They clean up their mess in the kitchen. We do morning devotions, then I read to them recreationally for awhile. This time of giving myself and my time to them in this way is so sweet and rewarding, even on those days when Joshua has the fidgets and sighs several times during the process. After this, I usually have them do a chore outside of some kind, so that they have a break before bookwork. Lunch comes either before or during bookwork, depending on how early we get started.

One of the joys of homeschooling is that I can use whatever books or curriculum that I choose, and I can skip the garbage (such as teaching evolution as truth, perverted sex-ed, and relative truth). One of the other joys is that I can throw the whole schedule out if we have something else we need to get accomplished. We school all throughout the year, so we actually end up putting in more days than public school kids do, even with the days we choose to take off. I don't follow the breaks, holidays or schedules of the public school (because I don't have to!). I figure we are well-qualified to decide what days we want to take off without outside input. Before we moved, this resulted in a glorious family 2-week vacation each October at a beautiful campground about an hour from our (old) house. The only people present were quiet retired couples whom you hardly knew were there. This suited our family fine, as most of us don't prefer crowds at all.

After bookwork is free-time, during which they have a small list of items to complete at some point before bedtime. This usually gives them at least a couple of hours per day to play or do whatever they want. The joy of homeschooling is that their schoolwork IS their homework, so they aren't doing double work every day. Right before Jeff heads to bed, he leads our evening devotions (which I LOVE), and then we have a time of intercessory prayer for the needs on our lists. We each pray out loud for whatever is on our hearts. I can't express strongly enough how important this devotional and prayer time has been. The spiritual power of gathering as a family to devote time to prayer and study of His Word is felt strongly in the room, and I would encourage ALL Christ-honoring families to incorporate some form of this into their families. Uniting as a family in this way will reap eternal rewards; I sense this is true, so we always try to make time for this important part of our day. And it does require self-discipline, because any family can find at least 10 other things they could be doing instead of devotions and prayer, but once the habit is established, it is simply precious, precious time that I crave like water. I just want our lives to reflect that we are serious about God and His word. I don't want to fall into the shallow, follow-the-crowd, God-on-Sunday-and-Wednesday only crowd. There are martyrs the world over suffering because they were bold enough to stand up for their faith. They are very serious about their faith and following Jesus; that's the kind of faith I want.

This lifestyle we have cultivated definitely goes against the grain of society, and we like it that way, although at times it can be very lonely, and very hard. We don't feel like we have to keep up with the Jones', possession-wise, entertainment-wise, fad-diet/exercise plan-wise, or any other wise. On the other hand, we also don't charge into every fad in the Christian world, because fads in theology and church-related things blow through just as strongly as in the secular world. We have let God have control of our lives, and He has led us down some paths I never thought I would be on. For example, we went from the typical family with cable tv, rushing to see most of the new movies put out, buying our kids all the new Disney and kid-related movies, to down-sizing to having only Sky-angel (a satellite branch of Dish network that is Christian-oriented programming), and now we have no cable, no Sky-Angel, and no television. What I find ironic, and counter to everything that Jesus taught, is that most people think this is a bad thing! Like filling our minds with drivel and perversion is a right we should exercise, and exercise often.

That's not to say we never watch anything, or that our kids don't ever watch anything, because we do on occasion. We have two portable DVD players plus the computer on which we can watch something when we choose to, but those things we allow ourselves to watch has decreased as the movies have gotten more explicit. We also have taken a stand on anything with an occult-based theme, so that knocks out a bunch more choices. Basically, Jeff and I watch Monk (and there are a couple of episodes of that we don't allow ourselves), and the kids will occasionally watch something from their remaining selection of movies. Most of Amber and Josh's media entertainment consists of their complete collection of Adventures in Odyssey tapes. It's not that we don't understand or have never felt the pull of television and movie addiction, because we have. It's just that we have chosen what we feel is a better way. Just because we want it, or might enjoy it, doesn't make it a good thing. It really is okay to sometimes say no to our flesh for the glory of God and the betterment of our persons.

Jeff and I like it that we no longer feel the burning need to run and see the latest movie, or waste much of our time sitting in front of the screen, and we don't have to run out and buy the kids every new movie that comes out. We take our role seriously of protecting their eyes and ears until we feel they are mature enough to make those wise choices themselves. The innocence reflected in their eyes is worth all of the effort of resisting the times. That is not to say that we haven't had quite explicit conversations with them regarding the issues of their times. They know about homosexuality and what God has to say about it. They know what they need to know about sex, and what God's design for it is. We protect them from the constant bombardment of inaccurate and perverse interpretations of these issues, but we don't protect them from the issues themselves, because God's word deals with these things very clearly.

There is no sure-fire guarantee that our children will make Godly choices as they grow up, but I think that being proactive in all that we do is a good deposit into their futures. And they are worth it. They are worth some self-denial on our parts to give them something even better. A Godly teacher put it something like this, "Forsake the good, for the sake of the best."

I believe my job is to pour myself completely into my family; to honor, respect and love my husband as the head of our home; to teach my children daily about the most important things in life. I don't find that it insults my individuality at all to seek after these things. In fact, I have found the only fulfillment I have ever experienced in this life. Above all, I want to be a woman in whom Jesus can someday say, "Well-done, good and faithful servant." I live to hear those words.