Do I have it? Do you have it? Suburban Syndrome

Suburban Syndrome

I have had the bones for this post rattling around in my head for months, maybe even longer.  There are many ideas for writing that I consider, most of them counter-cultural and potentially controversial.  Like most, I don't particularly LIKE to be controversial, but just believing everything the Bible says (which I do) is controversial these days, so I tend to ponder and pray and make sure it is something the Lord wants me to cover before I plunge in.  I pray this message will be received in the manner of love that it was written in.

In Titus 2, the Lord commands older women (like me) to teach younger women, or even older women who have never learned this model from the Bible, to be sober (sound mind, disciplined), to love their husbands and children, to be discreet (self-controlled, temperate), chaste (innocent, modest, pure), keepers at HOME, obedient to their husbands, so that God's word is not blasphemed.  Those verses bring a whole world of controversy and are things most women absolutely do not want to hear, and in a lot of instances refuse to hear, or obey, because culture will gladly defend their disobedience and rebellion;  even the church will teach contrary to scripture regarding these issues.  (which is why you follow the Bible - not a teacher, not a book's teaching, not a pastor - all are fallible.) 

I decided a long time ago that because I have to stand before God someday and answer for my actions, it is a lot safer to just believe what God's word says without trying to trivialize or negate it by whatever means, including saying it is not relevant today because our culture is different, women had different roles back then,  blah blah blah infinitum.  That sounds scary to me, because God told us in His Word that He never changes, and neither does His word.  I didn't invent these truths; I just follow them.  And every Christian woman should as well; there is no legitimate, scripturally defendable reason not to.

Which leads me to this post.  Suburban syndrome.  A phrase I made up to describe what can be viewed as somewhat of a lemming effect in the lives of many modern Christians.  For those not familiar with the term lemming, it is a  mouse-like rodent who is known to blindly follow other lemmings without thinking for himself, resulting in tragedy like mass drowning.

We don't have to live in a suburb to have Suburban Syndrome, although it makes it easier to be infected with it if we do.  What are the symptoms of Suburban Syndrome?  In the suburbs, houses more or less all look alike.  They don't care if they aren't different, nor do they want to be different.  Similarly, to have this syndrome is to have such a desire to fit in that one is willing to ignore scripture, willfully disobey scripture, or act in ways that could be considered foolish or unwise, if not outright sinful. It is a life of always choosing the popular path, thought, opinion, or fad.

I have witnessed so many "Christians" lately defending things that are blatantly and irrefutably forbidden in scripture, or refusing to do things expressly commanded in scripture.  It seems we have adopted an "if it doesn't work for me, I can ignore it" view of all of the Bible.  Unfortunately for those people, the Lord hasn't changed; his Word IS indeed still valid, and he did mean for us to obey it, even in this enlightened (sarcasm) day and age.  When we don't follow His plan, our lives are a mess and our families fall apart, including our marriages; we are stressed, depressed, and wondering what the heck is wrong.  Not that doing things the Lord's way is the key to a problem-free life, but at least it brings resident peace that lasts throughout the storms, and confidence that disobedience is not the root of the problems.  A clear conscience before the Lord is invaluable.   The apostle Paul, Luke, and Peter all spoke of living with clear consciences.   We can do it.  We should do it.

Things that seem to be negotiable/optional when Christians have Suburban Syndrome:

1.  Not only can women (wives) with children work and NOT be keepers of their home AT home, but they can be the undisputed bosses and heads of their households.  (Refer back to Titus 2:3-5 for what God thinks about this)

2.  Modesty.  Not talking about being covered from head to toe.  Just a minimum standard because when God says we are to be modest, He MEANT something.  It literally means that there are things that should not be seen while wearing clothing. And that there are certain items that shouldn't be worn in public. He isn't referring to not walking around naked.  He is referring to the clothing we wear.

And while on the subject, in regards to clothing, you cannot get any skimpier than a bikini, aka bra and underwear.  There is nothing that you can wear smaller or more revealing than a bikini.  So if God MEANS something when He instructs us to be modest, HOW can we defend wearing something that can't get any less modest?  Seriously, has anyone ever considered that?  Yet Christians will defend this to their deaths because culture accepts it.  That's always a red flag for me, as it should be for anyone trying to follow Christ's way, because culture didn't like Him and it shouldn't like us, and vice-versa.  I would wear a bikini for my husband IN PRIVATE where there was no one else around.  

3.  Women pastors and teachers exercising authority over men.  In God's hierarchy, women are not the spiritual heads - not in the home, and not in the church (1 Cor 13:34-35).  All of Jesus' disciples were men, and the women in scripture that people use to defend women having authority over men in the church never actually taught doctrine or exercised that kind of authority over men.  We can spread the gospel and fill support roles.  We are not supposed to be preaching to or teaching men.

4.  Sexual Immorality - Shacking up with premarital sex, affairs, porn, and homosexuality seem to be acceptable as long as we don't have an objection personally.  There isn't just one scripture against these things.  Read the New Testament without skipping the stuff you don't like.  It's all there.

That was the big things God has laid on my heart.  Believe me,  I know that a lot of people absolutely abhor this message.   At one time I did too.  I still don't like it when people say things I know deep down are true but I'm not listening or obeying.   But I pray that God will show us all the truths in his Word and that we will have ears to hear.  That we will read the Bible and believe what it says without listening to fallible man's interpretation of it.  I love you all.

Debbie
 

Messianic Christianity - false teaching?

This will be my second attempt to write this post, having accidentally deleted my first draft.  But that's okay, because the second draft is usually better anyway.    The Bible warns us that false teachers and heretical teaching will abound.  I have found this to be true, because even in mainstream Christianity inaccurate and often detrimental teachings are common. 

Just for the record, I believe every single word of the Bible was inspired by God, both Old and New Testaments.  I don't try to dismiss certain scriptures as outdated and not applicable today.  I just believe what is written and that's what makes me less afraid to stand before God on Judgment Day, knowing I haven't twisted His Word to justify some sin of mine. 

Because I believe the entire Word of God, both Old and New Testaments, I have concluded that  a somewhat popular movement is very cultish and even possibly heretical.  It is called various things by its followers, namely "Hebrew Roots Movement", "Torah-observant", and "Messianic Christianity." 

The following is an informational excerpt from tabletmag.com:

     'These are non-Jews who have no intention of converting to Judaism yet follow laws, customs, beliefs, and practices commonly associated with Judaism.  And while they do believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and the messiah - though in these circle he goes exclusively by his Hebrew name, Yeshua, they are EMPHATICALLY not Christian. 

     They do not celebrate Christmas or Easter.  They do celebrate Passover and Sukkot.  They do not display crosses or other traditional Christian symbols, but will wear the Star of David and post mezuzahs on their doors. 

     The movement's central belief is that the Torah (the first 5 books of the Bible) is still binding - that God, or Yahweh as they call him, did not intend for Yeshua's appearance to render irrelevant the lessons of the Old Testament, whose rules and instructions remain valid.  Specific theology varies from ministry to ministry and person to person.  Most strictly observe the Jewish Sabbath, and do not eat pork, shellfish, or other foods prohibited in the Torah, and the vast majority believe that women should keep their hair covered and not wear pants.  Some fulfill mitzvoth (the collection of 613 commandments or precepts in the Old Testament Law and additional ones of rabbinic origin) that aren't explicitly stated or detailed in the Torah, such as praying the rabbinic liturgy and observing Hanukkah.' (end of quote)

This is not meant to be a comprehensive study on Messianic Christianity, but an introduction to a decidedly false teaching that you can explore more on your own if interested.  There are scriptures that address these beliefs to some extent, as many of the first believers after Christ's Resurrection and the Day of Pentecost were Jewish.  But to accept this movement as heretical, you first have to believe that the ENTIRE Bible is God's inspired word, both Old and New Testaments (which it doesn't seem they do).  Therefore, Paul's teachings and admonitions are not only relevant and God-inspired, but of utmost importance when deciding if Messianic Christianity is a false, if not heretical, teaching.

Two of the things that disturb me the most is the dangerous sense of superiority exuded that they are the only true believers on Earth, and also the fact that they don't feel a need to spread the Gospel.  The first has its roots in Pride, which the Bible makes clear is abhorred by God.  It also ignores the entire teachings of Grace and Salvation by Faith in the New Testament.  The second disobeys a direct command by Jesus as he ascends into heaven to spread the gospel. 

However, Messianic Christians do feel called to minister in the land of the Jews, Israel.  But since you can't proselytize (attempt to convert) in Israel, this is not fulfilling the mandate to spread the gospel.  All they can do is labor in the vineyards, which is a sure help to the owners, but not so much to their souls.

Christ made it clear that a new thing was coming, a better thing.  This better thing is known as the New Covenant or New Testament.  It's "new" because it replaced something "old".  Messianic believers do not recognize the New Covenant, so I can only assume they do not fall under the dispensation of grace, which means they are probably not truly saved or born again.  I hope for their sakes this is not the case. 

God made it clear through Paul's New Testament writings that anyone under the law will be judged according to the law, and therefore will be condemned because no one can keep it perfectly.  It only takes one slip to be guilty of failing to keep all of the law (James 2:10).  While Christ was on earth, he taught the Law and kept the feasts.  This is because the New Covenant didn't take effect until after his resurrection, so he was being obedient to His Father while the earth still labored under the Old Covenant.

Then the Lord chose the apostle Paul to be the bearer of the vast majority of New Testament teachings.  "Paul, an apostle, not of men, neither by man, but by Jesus Christ, and God the Father, who raised him from the dead." Galatians 1:1  Paul, chosen by God to teach us about the Law and Grace, makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that the law was a schoolmaster to teach us and show us how sinful we are.  It awakens our conscience.  "The law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.  But after that faith came, we are NO LONGER under a schoolmaster."

That is all the Law can do.  It didn't save the Old Testament people, and it can't save us.  If it could, Christ would have come for nothing, because we would have already had a means to salvation and eternal life.  In fact, for those who place themselves willingly under the Law, they are actually cursed by God.  "Cursed is every one who doesn't continue in ALL things which are written in the book of the Law.  Gal 3:10" 

"For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision (being Jewish) availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision (being Gentile), but (he made) a new creation (neither Jew nor Gentile) Gal 6:15."   Also, "no man is justified by the law in the sight of God, because the just shall live by faith."  We are actually heirs of the Abrahamic Covenant, which is a covenant of faith because Abraham believed God and it was counted to him as righteousness (Gal 3:7). 

Nowhere in the New Testament (New Covenant) are we taught that we inherited the Mosaic Law.  "For these are two covenants; one from the mount Sinai (Mosaic Law) which gives birth to bondage, but we are the children of promise Gal 4:24, 28."  "For if the inheritance is by the law, it is no more by promise; but God gave it (the inheritance) to Abraham by promise."

In fact, Paul was so concerned about the Jewish Christian's clinging to the Law that he questioned their salvation (Gal 4:11).  Paul never spoke of the Law except to link it to bondage, to ineffectual living, to war with the Spirit, and to past times before the better thing came (Christ and the Holy Spirit). 

This movement also believes in observing all the Old Testament feasts.  Regarding that is the scripture Romans 14:5-6, which also addresses not eating certain foods - "One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike.  Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.  He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God."

Followers of Messianic Christianity have obviously chosen to ignore or discount most of the New Testament, which can only be because they don't believe the apostles were chosen and called by Christ himself.  But I do.  And I think it is dangerous to not believe the New Testament is as valid and as inspired as the Old Testament. 

I wouldn't want the apostle Paul questioning my salvation because it appeared I wanted to live under the Law.  I want to live according to the freedom Christ brought, under the power of the Holy Spirit he sent to help us live obediently.  Freedom in Christ does not mean freedom to sin.  I do not desire to live a life of sin.  But I do desire Christ's freedom.

And that's why I would never, not ever, choose to follow the false teachings of Messianic Christianity.

Update - Moving is......a process

I thought I would stop working for a bit and write a little update on our progress with the house and moving.  The last two weeks have been a bit crazy, even for me.  Actually, the last two or so years of my life have been either stressful, strenuous, trying, or crazy.  That is definitely another story for another day.  Thankfully, I have a faithful God who has proven that His peace is never far, if I am only willing to tap into it.  I must admit, however, that I have fallen apart more in the last few weeks than I have in my entire life, no kidding.  I have just about reached my limit of trials, tests, setbacks, issues, and drama.  I am normally one of the calmest, un-angry (my word) people I know.  Not lately.  I mostly fall apart either by myself or around Jeff.  I have been trying to hold it together around everyone else, although Amber and Josh seem to be fine-tuned to my moods and always know when I am having a bad day.  They get HUGE credit because they have been my faithful assistants through it all.

At any rate, most of the projects we were in the middle of during the last update are either somewhat or mostly completed, but none of them are completely completed.  We are very, very close to being done with the flooring, but last night we ran out of flooring for the living room, so off to town we go later today.  I estimated the flooring based on the floor plans for the house, so something was obviously off.  That's okay, because Amber blessed us with money to go on a much-needed date while we are in town.  We have been neglecting that area more than we normally do, and are thankful and excited to get to spend non-working time together.

We got the tile laid in the small corner of our living room where our wood stove will go.  Jeff did a really good job.  I always have the job of grouting and sealing, but I haven't gotten to it yet.  We will probably end up tiling the wall as well where the pipe will be, but he hasn't decided that for sure yet.

The only truck we currently have running is Jeff's small Nissan Frontier, short bed.  This is the only thing we have been using to move our furniture to the new house.  Slowly.  One piece of large furniture at a time, with a couple boxes thrown in to complete the load.  It seems that we aren't destined to be able to do anything easily, but that's life as I know it, so I am used to it.  I try to just roll with the punches, but I must admit it is a part of the stress.  We have our bed frame at the new house, the kitchen table of my mom's we were storing in our attic, our new-to-us sofa sleeper, a couple of wardrobes, a couple of desks, a couple of chests, and one kitchen cabinet from our other house.  We have a LOT more left, and right now we have nowhere to store anything that goes outside. 

Amber, Josh, and I have been ramping it up this past week, taking at least one load just about every day.  Fortunately for us, our new house is only about 8 miles from our old house.  Then, Jeff and I come back every evening after work for at least 2 hours to see what we can get done.  I installed some new stainless steel shelves in our kitchen, hollow wall anchors and all.  I was truly proud of myself because Jeff is normally the one to do all that. 

I should say that he has been the one to do all that in the last five years, because at our other old house we lived in for 20+ years, I did just about every project alongside Jeff when we built the addition of a master bedroom/bath and extra bedroom.  I bought and transported block 9 months pregnant, screwed and nailed walls, flooring, decking, crawled under and put up insulation with hangers, the whole caboodle.  So I can do stuff, I just normally prefer to stick with my wifely/motherly duties.

So today, I am putting stuff away that we brought from the house, and Jeff is building a set of steps for our back deck.  I have bruises on my legs from crawling up onto the deck (it's 5 feet off the ground), and I have almost twisted my ankle a couple of times jumping down at night when we are leaving, so I am glad for the addition of steps.  I may have said several times that I was too old for this.  Joshua is busy cutting firewood for back at the house, and Amber is back there cleaning and keeping the home fires burning.  Jessie and Dylan are working on their camper, getting it ready for when they get married in January.

I hope everyone has a good day, and I am going back to listen to football on my Sirius and put stuff away.  If you pray, Jeff and I would both appreciate prayers for peace and sanity.

Love you all,
Debbie

Why it shouldn't anger you when Christians have biblical beliefs

If the atmosphere of today's society could get any more politically correct, I couldn't imagine it.  I am thankful for the right we have to stand for what we believe, for what it's actually worth these days, even when those beliefs don't line up with mine.  I'm glad that everyone can figure out what he thinks for himself and aren't made to adhere to any certain creed.

What I am addressing today is the scorn, anger, and even hate that is directed at Christians when we uphold traditional biblical beliefs that contradict popular socio-political thinking.  I can understand in a way that us thinking certain things are wrong, even sinful, could offend those who don't agree with the Bible or its teachings.

However, when we are true, born-again Christians, we are SUPPOSED to hold every single word of the Bible as truth.   If we fall prey to popular thinking and start to embrace certain things that the Bible makes clear are sin, then we are failing as Christians, or else we were never Christians to begin with.  The Bible is our truth, and it is very, exceedingly, and abundantly clear on a lot of things.

Among those things are abortion, which God considers murder and equivalent to the sacrifices to Molech of old.  Sexual perversion from God's clearly, unarguably established way (one man, one woman in covenant bond of marriage) is wrong.  That means pre-marital sex and shacking up, post-marital affairs, pornography, lustful thoughts and daydreams and yes, homosexuality, is sinful.  Not because I say so, or the preacher says so, but because the one true God, the creator of everything, says so, and He says so quite clearly (regardless of what some people try to argue) in His word (the Bible).  And as a believer, I am supposed to agree with Him, even when and if I don't really agree with Him. 

And that is why, if you don't believe in God, you shouldn't get mad at those of us who do when we believe what the Bible says.  It's part of our job description.  It is really kind of non-negotiable, even though a lot of "Christians" don't think so.  When you read the Bible all the way through, study it, and take God at His word, there is no room left for argument, at least about the above-mentioned things. 

Who you really don't agree with is God himself.   And that's okay, because He gives us all a choice to accept Him and His truths or not.  He wants willing followers.  Just know that He has also established an end for those who ultimately reject Him, and refusal to believe in Him or that end (Hell) doesn't make them any less real,  just like not believing in gravity will not save you from splattering on the pavement when you jump off the roof.

So, coming to terms with who you really have a beef with (God) will release you from the anger you feel towards us Christians when we just do what we are supposed to do- believe God and everything He has said.  That way, we can just agree to disagree and still be friends.  :)

Blessings,
Debbie

Update: a liiiitle progress

Well, I can honestly say we have a whole lot going on in several different directions .   My daughter just had her 4th baby, another daughter has a bridal shower this month and a wedding in January ,  and also everything related to our new house, which has me running and figuring just about every day . Some days my brain misfires a few times with the overwhelming -ness of it all .

We still haven't finished the floor in Joshua's bedroom ,  but we have all of the posts set for our first deck/porch.  We have so much to do, we have to have multiple projects going at once.  This is the deck off the laundry room door, and will go down into the yard opposite side of the forest.  This side will be fenced for dogs and ducks.

We only have one day this weekend to work on it because we have an appointment Sunday.  Something will get done ,  though .

The contractors didn't do something quite correctly ,  so we didn't pass our first final electrical inspection .   Blah.  I was hoping to have electricity while we worked Saturday .

Hopefully ,  they will rectify that quickly .

Right now, I'm sitting in our lower meadow waiting for the water dept guys to show up and turn our water on.

2 hours later......

We have water!  Thank you ,  Jesus ! !  "Whole house water filter" ordered and on the way .

Here's our future back deck....

Update: Progress

We have been preparing for delivery of our new home.   We had a tree near the driveway to cut, and some bobcat work to do to make sure the home could fit up our (very steep) driveway.   Come to find out,  it's so steep, they need a dozier to get our home up it, which, of course,  costs extra.

But, hopefully,  delivery will happen in the next week or so.

Here's a picture of the site, with the piers the contractors just poured to set our home on.

Will keep you updated!
Love,
Debbie

For those who keep up with us - an update on our plans

I wanted to update our plans for those who keep up with what is going on in our lives.  I appreciate those who do and thank you for caring about our family.  I don't care what anyone says;  I love my online friends, some whom I have never met.  It might be a different kind of relationship, but it is real nonetheless.

So, as a quick overview - about 5 years ago, we moved from the house we had owned for over 20 years in town to my mother-in-law's house in the country which no one was living in.  We did a LOT of work and spent quite a bit of our funds making it livable.

In the past year, we learned that we aren't going to be able to stay here long term, which was our original plan.  We had to start looking into alternatives, and ended up buying 18.5 mostly wooded acres not far from where we are, which we closed on last December 30.  We spent that winter and spring clearing and cutting about an acre, and also tearing down an old single wide trailer that was there.

After we got close to finishing that up, we started trying to figure out what we wanted to live in and how we wanted to go about it.  Neither one of us wanted to go back into debt with a mortgage.  We figured we were too old to start all over with that again.  So we drew up some plans to build a small 650+ square foot tiny home using the trailer frame on the property and pay for it as we built it. 

It was going to be small, but I was excited to downsize and make it work.  However, this spring, my mother-in-law moved in with us and it has become a permanent living arrangement.  Therefore, our tiny home plans will no longer work.

Back to the drawing board.   There was no way I ever wanted to build an actual mortar and brick home again.  On our first house that we lived in for over 20 years, we had built a 700 square foot addition, mostly by ourselves.  I hauled supplies and block at 8 and 9 months pregnant.  I hammered floor boards and screwed walls with a newborn (Jessie) hanging from the rafters.  So I was completely unenthusiastic about including that in our list of choices.  Too much work.  And contractors are too expensive and too unreliable. 

We started looking at manufactured homes.  It is easy to get sucked into the upgraded, fancier models, but we don't need all that.  We settled on a moderately sized base model and set about finalizing things.  Our retirement fund took a big hit to come up with the down payment, but one must do what they must.    We are currently awaiting a delivery date, which should be in the next few weeks.  It will be interesting watching them maneuver it up our STEEP driveway. 

It will be awhile after they deliver it before we can actually move in because we ordered it without carpet.  After years of no carpet, there was NO way I was going back to that willingly.  However, they don't allow substitutions, so the areas that would have been carpeted (living room, hall, and all the bedrooms) are going to come with only the sub-floor.  We will be installing our own flooring, probably hardwood.  After that, we have to have the fence around the yard completed to keep our dogs safe.  We don't do projects quickly, so it will undoubtedly be awhile before we are done with everything.

So, sometimes the best laid plans have to be let go.  We will have a mortgage again, but not a very big one.  We also will have it paid within 15 years or less.  I am certain that the Lord will provide and that all will be fine.  I don't begrudge having my mother-in-law here, although anyone who has experienced a parent of any kind living with them will attest to the challenges.  That's a whole other subject in itself.  Learning to live well with others is good for our walk with God and personal growth.  I miss my own mother, who has been dead for awhile now. 

At some point, I will compose my post with the before and after pictures of our property.  I am excited to share our new journey with you.

As always,
Debbie

Saturday on the Homestead March 18, 2016

Right now, all of our free time is spent clearing trees and hauling limbs off of our new property.  For any who didn't get to read about it, we have purchased 18.5 acres not far from our current location.  There was an old trailer on it that we have torn down except for the steel frame, which we are keeping to build on hopefully next spring.

There are too many large trees surrounding the frame,  so we need to remove the future danger of them crashing on our house.  So far, we have been snowed on, sleeted on, rained on, and now we get to enjoy tick season while we work. (Not)

I have drawn to scale on graph paper the layout of our future tiny house (684 square feet). I have all the furniture we are keeping measured and situated in place on our graph  I also color coded the flooring type for each room.  I have a list of what we will need to buy, like windows , doors, and bathroom fixtures, so I can try to find some of it at the Re-store in town.

In deference to my limited energy and time, we have turned  the gardening at home over to Jessie for the season.  I'm sure I will still preserve the harvest, but she will be taking care of the rest.

I guess that's it for now.  Til next time.  Be blessed.
Debbie

Married? This Post is for You

For several years now, God has given me a burden for marriages.  More specifically, He compels me to post articles and to also blog about things that pertain to making marriages better. There are times I can't relax or think about anything else until I have shared what I feel Him telling me .  So if I seem obsessive, or compulsive, at times with my posts, that is the reason why.    I can't rest with a peaceful conscience until I listen.

We all know that marriages are failing daily.  As an "older" woman now, I am instructed in the Bible to encourage women to submit to their husbands, make their houses into homes, and love and train their children.  I take this command very seriously, and I pray that more older women rise to the challenge as well. 

For the past couple of weeks now, I have been praying faithfully for all of my Facebook friends who are married.  There are those who mock Facebook, and there is undoubtedly much to mock, but there is a real community on there as well, people who are hurting and who look for answers nowhere else but there.  I know that with as many FB friends as I have, there must be many hurting, and even some failing, marriages.  I care and want to help you, because with over 25 years of marriage, I have experienced many things, including being on the brink of separation.

In fact, there isn't too much we haven't experienced, some things I am not at liberty to be specific about yet, but you can take me at my word.   It takes a lot of dedication, prayer, determination and forgiveness to make a marriage successful.  I think a good first step is to completely and irrevocably remove the word DIVORCE from both of your vocabularies.
 
When divorce remains an option, couples tend to not be willing to do the hard things to make it work.  There are seasons of marriage when hard work to make it work is all that is happening.  But the eventual intimacy and love that develop because of  hard work are SO worth it.  Not only that, you can also assure yourself during the process that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side, and it is also not greener to be alone.

I am going to make this into several posts to share a few things I have learned in my journey of marriage.  But I wanted to start out by letting you know I have been praying for your marriage.

Some of the things I have been praying for you and your spouse:

- that you will have a determination to make your marriage work, regardless of what it takes.

- that if any pornography is being viewed by either side, or together, that the offender will be convicted to stop immediately (this is a death sentence to intimacy, trust and sexual ability)

- that wives will be willing to submit and let their husbands be the head of their households in every way

-  that husbands (and wives) will be faithful and monogamous with their thoughts and eyes daily and in every form of media and in real life and with their actions as well

- that wives would stop every form of emotional or sexual manipulation they may be using against their husbands (to include the silent treatment, sexual withholding, eye rolling, huffing or sarcastic remarks, bribing)

There are other things as well that I will get into in future posts, but that is plenty to think about for now.  If you have specific prayer requests for your marriage, you can message me and be assured that it will go no further than myself.  I love you guys, and I desire fervently for all of your marriages to be glorious.  I also believe that every single one can be glorious eventually with hard work, prayer and God's guiding hand.

I sincerely hope that you will be willing, along with your spouse, or despite your spouse, if necessary for the moment, to do whatever it takes to prosper your marriage.

Jeff and I have made it through a lot of things, and some of it has been very ugly.  At times, it has seemed that quitting would be easier than working it out, and no doubt it would have been the easy way out.  But I will always be thankful that we stuck it out, worked it out, prayed it out, and loved it out.  Our intimacy has never been sweeter because of it.  I hope this gives someone hope.

For now,
Debbie

Our Big News

Good morning!  It is a COLD one here in Tennessee, and we remain thankful for our warm wood stove.  We have had some big news to share for a couple of months now.

To recap our current living situation, we moved from the city where we had been for over 20 years in a house we had purchased .  Jeff had desired to move to the country for years, and at the time,  I was quite content to be a city girl.

My mother-in-law thought she was getting dementia, so she moved from her old home to several miles away with her daughter, Angie- Jeff's sister.  This left her house unoccupied, so we sold our house and moved to her house in the country.

We have lived here about 5 years now, and due to circumstances beyond our control, have had to look into doing something else.  We had the option of putting a small home of some kind somewhere else here where we are, but after consideration, Jeff decided we needed to look elsewhere for something, either unfinished property, or a small home with a few acres.

The acreage was more important to him, so near the holidays, we ended up focusing on bare land.  After many false starts, we found a place only about 7 miles from where we are now.

It is 18.5 acres, and it has an old trailer on it that we are currently tearing down.   It is completely wooded, except for around a 1/2 acre.  It sits up on a hill, and our driveway is VERY steep.  Once we clear the part towards the road, an acre or so will be cleared.

It is going to be so beautiful when we are done.  God has blessed us , and we are thankful.  We don't know yet what we will do as far as a home goes, but I will share the stages my thinking has gone through in the last few months.

First, I knew I didn't want the stress of building.  I said we were too old for all that malarkey.  Then, we decided to put a manufactured home on it.  We looked at them, and some are really nice.  In the last few days however, God has put a verse in my heart that I want to share.

"Be content with the things that you have...".   As I pondered this message, I came to the following conclusions:

                            1.   This world is not our permanent home, so we
                                 really don't NEED anything fancy or expensive

                            2.  I don't want to put my husband in debt for
                                 years to come.

                            3.  We won't have the kids at home too much
                                 longer, and two people do not need much
                                 room.

So, in light of that, we are going to use the frame on the trailer we are tearing down, and are going to build something small on it.  We already have cabinets, tubs, appliances, etc that we purchased for this house, which is another good reason not to waste money on a manufactured home that comes with all that stuff.  We may even do something redneck like attach our camper to it as well.

Who knows?  But I am greatly relieved and excited that God has changed this city girl's heart enough that I can be happy with this choice and not put us under the bondage of more debt.

I'll post pictures soon of our progress.  Oh, and since it doesn't have a spring on the property, I will be changing the name of my blog once we move.  Something with "acres, woods, or hill (s)" probably.  If you have suggestions, tell me in the comments.

Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs

Saturday on the Homestead, January 23, 2016

It has been quite a long while since I have written, due in part to trouble with my laptop.  I have a lot to say, so I am glad to be writing again.

Our family has had a heck of a year.  Some things I don't want to share at this time, but one thing I don't mind sharing is the sickness and death of my mother.  Losing her changed the dynamics of our whole family, and it has been a big adjustment.  Her death precipitated the change of my dad moving into an assisted living home, so at times it has felt like our family was adrift at sea with no land in sight.

All of these things, mentioned and unmentioned, have ultimately served to draw us closer to God and to each other.  It was either that or let it all fall apart, which has never been an option for me. 

We have some big changes on the horizon within the next eighteen months, which I will elaborate on more when I know more, but suffice it to say that God continues to work on my dislike of change.

I just wanted to give a quick update on what is going on with us.  Like most of you, we are riding out the latest snowstorm and hoping things thaw out soon because we have a lot to do.  

Our laying hens are all on strike, as we haven't seen an egg in almost 2 months.  We have over 15 hens of varying ages, so it is quite baffling.  We may be filling our freezer with chicken soon.

We have 2 lemon trees residing in our living room loaded with slowly ripening lemons.  I can't wait to try them.

I guess that's it for today.  I appreciate everyone who keeps up with my family.

Debbie, enjoying staying Home at Serenity Springs

A Living Tribute to My Mother

My mother is thankfully still alive, and I want to remember her life now instead of waiting until she passes on.  I want to start my tribute to my mother with the reality of her life right now, and then digress to the past to show how it used to be.  My mother is currently 77 years old.  She was 34 when she had me, the "surprise baby", the last of 4.  She has COPD, a progressive lung disease that is incurable.  She wears oxygen through a cannula in her nose all of the time.  Because of her disease, she gets out of breath easily, and therefore doesn't get out of bed much anymore.  She takes what seems to me to be tons of prescriptions, supplements, and over-the-counter medicines and no longer participates in any of the hobbies she once had.

Our biggest goal right now is keeping her as healthy as possible so that she doesn't contract pneumonia again and end up in the hospital (again).  She also has diabetes and heart problems.  It makes me sad that the active mother of my memories doesn't seem to exist anymore.  Thankfully, she still has her mental faculties, and enough resident stubbornness to remind me of days of old.  I have begun to love engaging her in conversations about the past and the things she can remember clearly.  I have recorded some of those memories in a notebook, which I have no doubt I will highly treasure someday.

My older sister, Linda, lives with my mother and father and works hard taking care of them.  Just this past year, my dad's health and abilities have declined after having a stroke, so her work load has doubled as caretaker.  She provides them all of their meals and snacks, and takes care of all of their personal needs.  It's a great comfort that someone in the family can be their caretaker.  My siblings and I try to help out as much as we can, but the vast majority of the responsibility falls on her very capable shoulders.  We are all thankful for her.

As many of you know, it is HARD to watch your parents age and fall apart.  When I think of how they used to be, it makes me so sad.  It's a reminder to really enjoy our parents and family members while we still have them; to realize how important family is, and to believe that they are worth our time, energy, and financial investment.  No, they aren't perfect, and yes they can aggravate you to death, that's for certain, but that doesn't negate the fact that they are our parents, and we should help them any way we can.

I was the youngest of four children.  My closest sibling (Linda) was 8 years older than me, so I didn't really have them as playmates growing up.  I remember playing Monopoly and Payday all by myself. I don't think my children completely realize how blessed they were to have built in playmates, because it could definitely be a lonely life at times.  I remember demanding that my mother dye her prematurely graying hair because she was older than most of the other mothers in my kindergarten class.  What a rotten kid I could be.  It didn't stop her from occasionally making cupcakes and bringing them to my class.

Before I could drive, I HATED riding the bus (introvert to the max), and she would take me to school and pick me up each day.  I bet she was so glad when I got my driver's license!  I did various things through the years like piano, voice, karate, softball and basketball, and she was faithful to take me to all of my classes and games.

My grandmother (my father's mother) lived with us until she died.  I was married and four months pregnant with my oldest at the time.  I have always been so sad that she didn't get to meet my children, but I am glad that they will meet in Heaven someday.   I loved having my Granny in our home growing up, but I never really considered until recently how hard it probably was at times for my mother to have her mother-in-law living with her for the majority of her marriage.

Even though my grandmother was usually kind and not terribly interfering like some mothers and mothers-in-law can be, I imagine it was still challenging at times to have her living there.  And that woman being your husband's mother, who has a natural predisposition toward her son, would rub anyone the wrong way at times.  However, I don't remember a lot of drama over this issue growing up.  I give my mom many kudos for that!  How many of us could successfully live full-time with our mothers-in-law?

My grandmother was a big help around the house while my mother ran the family moving company. 
I suspect any negative feelings my mother may have had about having her mother-in-law living with her were overridden with the comfort of knowing we were being well-cared for while she worked.

When my mother wasn't running the family business, she was cleaning or working outside in her flower beds.  I think gardening was how she relieved her stress from working at the office.  Her yard bloomed and developed over the years under her care until they resembled something out of a magazine.  Today, my sister Linda maintains all of the yard work, and although I am glad she enjoys it as well, I still get sad when I remember my mama puttering outside in her flowerbeds. She enjoyed them SO much.

She also grew a small vegetable garden every year, and preserved her extra harvest every year by canning.  She taught me everything she knew about this, and I am thankful for that knowledge as I "can" my vegetables every year.  My mother and my grandmother both cooked us full, homemade meals all of the time.  They were both excellent cooks and bakers.  Fried chicken, pork chops, baked hams and turkeys, mashed potatoes, green beans and the like filled my meals as a child.  We rarely ate out like so many families do today for meals.  My mother had to buy two carts of groceries when most of the kids were still at home.  I don't remember ever having a frozen dinner (except for pizza when I was a teenager) growing up.  What a blessing.

When I was a younger child, my mother and father enjoyed playing cards with their friends.  They would have them over for games of pinochle and I would  "hide" under the table while they played, listening to all of the grown up conversations.  I like cards as well, but I have NO idea how to play pinochle or what the point of the game is.

Their love for getting together with friends seem to wane as I entered my teenage years, and the stresses of life and marriage started to intrude.  I miss those younger days, and I dearly wish my mother and father would sit down at the table for a game of cards again with friends.  I can hear my mother's unique cackling laughter in my head, and it always make me smile when I think about it.

Until I was almost grown, we had a lake property about 45 miles from our house.  During the warmer months, we went there quite often.  My mother often seemed to have a hard time relaxing, and even while at our lake property, I can remember her puttering with her roses and flowers, and cleaning and organizing her kitchen and the rest of the house.  She took care of her siblings growing up, like their second mother, so she had an ingrained sense of maturity and responsibility that she had a hard time letting go of to have fun.

My other grandmother (her mother, Mary) lived within a couple miles of our house, and my mom would go over and clean and organize for her quite often.  My grandmother was crippled from a serious car accident.  When I picture my mother of my younger days, cleaning is most often what comes to mind.  She was a compulsive cleaner and somewhat germophobic..  I like things to be organized and orderly, but I can tolerate imperfection with cleanliness more than she can.  My other two sisters are more like her in this area, but they don't have four children, two grandchildren and three dogs!

During my first few years of marriage, I would take particularly tough stained laundry to my mother, and she always got them clean for me.  She never seemed to mind; in fact, she seemed to delight in my trust in her knowledge and skill.  I eventually learned to take care of these things on my own, but her help during my time of need was invaluable.  However, I didn't call her for instructions on how to boil water like one of my sisters did.  Hahaha, I told on you!

My mother helped finance some of the repairs on our first house during those early years, and she often helped out in that way when times were tight.  Not only my husband and I, but other family and extended family members as well were on the receiving end of her generosity.

Before I felt convicted to stay at home with my children, I was attending college and working, and my mother was watching my oldest daughter for me.  She often took her on shopping trips to buy new outfits or treats, and to ride the horse carousel at K-mart.  She always had a wallet full of quarters just for that purpose.  Needless to say, Alix loved her Maw-Maw.

She also cared for Jessie for just a bit when she was a baby while I worked.  My children were well cared for and I never worried about them while she had them.  In a way I broke her heart when God called me to stay home with my children because she was so attached to them, especially my oldest because she kept her longer.  She didn't get to see them nearly as much once I started staying at home. 

I never completely understood how she must have felt until Alix, my oldest daughter, and her husband moved off our property where they had been living for a year.  I had spent large amounts of time helping to care for and feed my grandson, and became quite attached to him.  When they moved to their own place and I didn't get to see him every day, it broke my heart a little (a lot).  So, now I understand exactly what my mother went through when I stopped bringing them to her house to care for them.  You understand that your children have to live their own lives and make their own decisions, but that doesn't change the effect on your heart at times.

My mother miscarried several babies, once having to ride in a sleigh through snow in North Dakota while heavily bleeding to a neighbor's house, so she could get into a truck to go to the hospital.  So the fact that she ended up with four live children is to me a testament of her perseverance and desire to have a family.   She loved to twirl up her girls' hair as infants, and as soon as my children had as much as a wee sprig, she would twirl it up on top of their heads.

She worked hard raising four children and simultaneously running a moving company almost by herself.  She was an excellent speller, and  would do computations in the air with her pointer finger.  Now she can barely sign her name legibly, and it makes me sad.  Thank goodness for the hope of Heaven and the joy of eternal bodies that don't age or die!

I feel like I'm leaving tons of information out about my mother, but I think this post is long enough.  I am glad that I had a chance to reminisce about her younger and healthier days, and share that with you.  I love my mother so much, and I hope the Lord gives her many more years before He calls her home.

If you would like to leave a memory that you have of my mother, please leave a comment, and it can add to the testimony of her life. 

Blessings,
Debbie,

Saturday on the Homestead, November 15, 2015

For some reason, it has been hard for me to get back into writing as much as I used to.  Since moving to the country, I have stayed busy, so I can't blame it on being busier than normal.  I guess it is probably just a season of inactive writing.  It certainly isn't because I don't have anything to say, or lack of opinions on things.   That's a big "LOL" to anyone who really knows me! 

We are going to have a relaxed morning at home before jumping in to a little more productiveness.  Jeff has a couple of honey-dos:  tuning up our green Dodge that Jessie is driving, fixing a breezy window up in Amber's room, and shooting guns with Jessie.

Hopefully around 2:30 we will have a little time to listen to the 'Bama game, as we are developing an appreciation for college football this year. 

Jessie has been going deer hunting, but hasn't gotten one yet.  Amber is busy making waffles for breakfast, and Joshua will be working on putting gravel in the cellar.  I have some painting to do, laundry (always) to get off the line, supper to make, and reading to do!

Jeff has some experiments going on in his greenhouse, since this is our first winter to use it.  He actually has some green beans flowering, some pak choi doing REALLY well and it is so yummy, and a volunteer tomato plant still tall and strong, but with no blooms.  We bought a wireless thermometer so we can keep an eye on the temperature in there.  He still has some insulating to do to block some of the drafts we missed this summer, but it is still heating up well during the day.

Next Sunday we are celebrating Amber's 16th birthday.  What?!  My babies are growing up, and it is a bittersweet time.  If I write a post next week, it will be dedicated to her. 

I hope everyone has a blessed day and weekend!

Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs

Saturday on the Homestead (on Sunday) : September 28, 2014

It has been quite awhile since I have blogged, hasn't it?  I guess I just needed a break from writing, although I have several things I want to write about.  There is never a lack of action around the homestead, and we have been quite busy all season long.

Our flock of ducks has been greatly reduced due to illness, which makes me sad, as my favorite duck "Joe" was one of the victims.  I miss that friendly guy.  I think his mate has been quite lonely since he's been gone.  Out of 13, we have 1 goose and 5 ducks left.  It's a bummer.

I have been canning quite a bit this year.  I have canned a bunch of medium to hot salsa, pickled peppers, tomato sauce, green beans, and some squash.  Some people say you aren't supposed to can squash, but I have canned it for over 20 years and have never had a problem.  We seem to do well growing beans, and usually continue to harvest them until first frost.  I don't think I am going to work up any apples this year as we have several jars of apples and applesauce left. 

Jessie has had a busy summer of work of various kinds, and has been gone quite often.  I miss her but I am thankful for the opportunities God provided for extra money.   Amber and Josh school all year, so we didn't have any dramatic back to school issues.  We did take one week off recently, because I needed a break from correcting work to catch up on some other things.  I have revamped Amber and Josh's school schedule to reflect the challenge of high school work.  They stay VERY BUSY during the school week with their school work and chores.  I have seen some maturing already from this new way of doing things.

We recently got back from the Shindig in North Carolina. I will be writing a post on the excellent teaching Michael Pearl gave on the Science of Addiction, so you can be looking for that.  I don't plan to go quite as deep into the scientific detail as he did, but I will cover it enough to get the important points.

Today, we are going to eat my famous chip dip while we listen to football on the Sirius, and later we are going to grill and have a nice meal together.  This morning, we had an excellent discussion on our position in Christ and how that alone helps us to overcome temptation and allow us to walk in obedience.  Amber shared some insights from Romans 14 she gleaned as she has been studying that book.  I love to fellowship with my children and my husband.  There is nothing like it!

I could say so much more since it's been so long but I will save some for next time.

Sincerely,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs

Saturday on the Homestead: June 14, 2014

It's been awhile since I've felt like blogging.  This spider bite wound has thrown me for a loop and gotten me out of my groove, so to speak.  It has been 38! days since I was bitten by a brown recluse.  I have an updated photo of the current progress, but I am going to hold off on discussing what we are doing for treatment because I am going to write a blog after it heals completely to hopefully help others who search for information on natural healing when they get bitten.

The wound is on the edge of my back, near my ribcage, and it makes excessive movement awkward and painful, so I have had to cut back on how long I work in the garden or elsewhere at one time.  I can honestly say I have never had a wound quite so open and quite so deep before, and I hope to never have one again!

I have really appreciated the time that Jessie, Amber, and Jeff have given me in taking care of my wound for me.  I can barely reach it, so if I were left to care for it on my own, it would definitely look a lot worse than it does.  Honestly, after 38 days, it can be a little discouraging and wearying at times.  There is not constant pain, but there is constant discomfort and occasional pain that can get tiring.

But on to more pleasant subjects!  Our garden is doing well.   Because some of my planting was delayed, we aren't getting any squash or cucumbers yet as some are, but we have harvested lots of salad greens including kale, swiss chard, endive, spinach, and lettuces.  We have chives and parsley, and we have just harvested our garlic that we planted last fall.  It has to cure for a few weeks, then we can store some of it in the root cellar.  My kind brother-in-law, Alan, who lives on the property with us, has shared several of his squash and cucumbers with us already.

Our baby ducklings arrived at the end of May, along with Amber's two goslings, Precious Jewel and Hester Louise.  Hester Louise is the boy, a fact I find highly amusing.  The goslings have grown much quicker than the ducklings, towering over them as they spend the day together, but they are quite gentle. 

We are having my grandson's 4th birthday party here next weekend.  I am always glad for an opportunity for family to get together and celebrate something! 

Jeff had to work for several hours today; he will be home around noon.  My goals are to work for awhile weeding the garden and applying diatomaceous earth to some of my plants with a flour sifter.  For garden tips, this one works very well.  I also am going to clean out the closet in my living room (again!).  Later, Jeff and I will be going to town to get Jessie's gun out of layaway and go on a wee date.  Did I mention that I love that we love to date each other?  It is highly underrated.

Jessie is still away in Alabama house sitting.  Amber and Josh don't have any big projects to do today, so it will be a mostly free day for them.  It is a beautiful day to spend outside.

I hope you all have a wonderfully blessed weekend.

Debbie,  Home at Serenity Springs

Saturday on the Homestead, May 17, 2014

Day 10 of my brown recluse spider bite:

The affected area seems to have gotten a tiny bit smaller, as if healing may have begun.  It is still an open sore, which is what forms after the expected blister breaks open.  One thing I have learned is that these bites do not go away quickly, be they treated by doctors or at home naturally.  Due to our faith in the power of essential oils and herbs to treat this particular ailment, I have elected to not have it treated by a physician.  If at any time I felt like what we were doing wasn't working, I would go to the doctor as needed.

The good news is that it IS working;  I have no apparent necrosis or infection.  For those who doubted that God-provided herbs and oils are never as effective as going to the doctor, I am living proof that they are, if not even better at times.  For those interested in our chosen plan of attack, we have been treating it with tea tree oil, lavender oil, oregano oil, and activated charcoal and wrapping me up with an ace bandage to hold another bandage in place.  When Jeff is home, he treats it several times a day, and when he is at work, Amber treats it a couple of times a day.  This path has been way less traumatic than having a doctor digging out dead flesh several times and taking massive doses of antibiotics and who knows what else. 

The not so good part is that I have not been able to get very much done in my garden for the past week and a half, and I haven't been able to finish up tilling and planting my beds.  To be honest, this has kept me fighting a dose of depression and feelings of uselessness.  My children came to my rescue today and weeded the beds I haven't been able to plant, so at least they are looking better, which makes me feel better.  Did I mention I love them and how they help out around here?!

Tonight, we are having spaghetti and homemade sauce that has been cooking in the crockpot all day, along with the Greek salad we love, to go with our family movie night watching Courageous.  We love that movie.  I hope you all have a marvelous and blessed rest of the weekend.  

and Friday night date night with the love of my life.....

Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs

Saturday on the Homestead, May 10, 2014

I woke up Thursday morning with an interesting small bruise on the edge of my back near my ribs.  This spot became more and more painful as the day wore on, until I couldn't even sit back on it while sitting down.  At some point that day, I began to wonder what in the world was going on, and then I remembered that I had taken a dead spider off my pillow when I made my bed.  I hadn't really thought twice about it up to that point.

Turns out, I have been bitten by a brown recluse; one of the more serious spider bites you can have.  The worst thing about it so far is the unending severe pain on that side, and the fact that it is in such an awkward place that I can't get comfortable enough to go to sleep.  My family has been treating me with clays and essential oils every couple of hours.

I can't really get anything done around the house with the pain being so consuming, which is a bummer.  I hope that it heals more quickly than the stories I have read, because I have a lot to do!  And I miss taking care of my husband and family already, and it has only been 3 days.

I would appreciate your prayers for healing as we continue to treat this.  I probably won't be posting much until I feel better.

Here is a current picture of my bite.  I will update as we treat it and see changes.  (The black spots are activated charcoal, not rotting skin!)

Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs

For Married Men Who Love Their Wives

Obviously, from the title, this blog post is for married men.  I don't normally target men specifically, but this was on my heart, and whatever God puts on my heart, I blog about.  I have previously stated my desire and my heart to strengthen and uphold marriages through exhortation and encouragement.  Through God's guiding and encouraging hand, my own marriage is blessed and hopefully His message can help others as well.

Good marriages don't just happen, especially in today's world.  Daily attention and care and proactive thinking is a MUST for marriages to thrive and succeed.  Men, I hope that you take this message to heart, because it can truly revolutionize not only your private, personal world, but also the relationship you have with your wife, and ultimately will bless your children as well. 

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that media takes extreme advantage of a man's God-given, visually driven nature.  Not only the media, but the women who see the media and then adopt the visual presentation of the women they constantly see.  In other words, we have lots of vamps and tramps running around, and bare skin abounds.

Men who don't restrict what goes before their eyes are bombarded daily with sights that a married man doesn't need to behold.  This can be detrimental to marital expectations for several reasons; one being that the majority of women don't come close to resembling the airbrushed, hyper-sexual women of the world, so you are left feeling dissatisfied with the woman you already have.  Secondly, if you are thinking about another woman, you are not thinking about your wife.  If you are a Christian man in particular, your wife is the only woman you need to be thinking about and admiring sexually.

Your expectation can be raised by actively viewing and thinking about the seductive images around you.  I would credit this with a lot of the extramarital affairs that are happening.  After viewing hundreds of attractive images via internet, television, movies, Facebook, Instagram, or perhaps women jogging half-clothed on the side of the road, a man starts to feel dissatisfied with the imperfect woman that he already has, and thus begins the downhill slide to finding someone more enticing to engage, flirt with, and eventually sleep with - if not in reality, at least in thought, which makes you just as culpable of adultery as the act itself.

As a man, when you refuse to discipline your eyes and thoughts away from the tempting images around you, you will become more critical when assessing your wife, and she will normally fall short of the unrealistic expectation in your head.  You will then start to pull away emotionally and sexually, and your wife will be left feeling dissatisfied, hurt, and unloved.   God created you to be monogamous in every way, visually, mentally, and in real every day life.  Something will remain missing in the intimacy of your marriage as long as you allow yourself to roam in any way.

If the issues are not addressed, affairs and/or divorce will ensue.   That is why it is of the utmost importance that you realize that you are in a war for your very SOUL and your MARRIAGE.  Indulging your flesh is never worth the ultimate consequences, and disciplining your flesh is always worth the blessing of a renewed mind and marriage.

And your mind CAN be renewed if you have been indulging in things you shouldn't.  The Bible instructs us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.  So when an inappropriate thought pops into your head, replace it with thoughts of your wife or thoughts of God.  Speak truth to yourself.  Speak scripture to yourself.  When you have worked on retraining your mind, it will become easier to be obedient.

One would almost think that affairs and divorce are unavoidable these days, but I absolutely disagree.  A person could also think that due to society men don't really have a choice about running around in a perpetual state of lust.  With this, I also firmly and resolutely disagree, because scripture tells us differently  We are commanded to take every thought captive and make it obedient to His word.  That means it CAN and SHOULD be done every minute of every day.

I realize that with any seductive image or live person, a man will have an automatic, physical desire to look further and even to lust.  At this point, a man can  (and should) choose to bounce his eyes away and refocus his thoughts on something acceptable.  He could even immediately call his wife and engage her in conversation. 

My husband has stated that he would even go so far as to switch lanes at a gas station or grocery store if he feels that it would be too difficult to focus elsewhere.  This is an example of the pro-active measures that should be taken to help you on your journey to renewing your mind and placing hedges around yourself to help avoid temptation.

Duck Dynasty brother Alan uses what he calls the "'notice-dismiss" method.  When something passes your vision that you can't help but see because you aren't blind, you immediately and purposefully dismiss it - visually, by looking away, and mentally, by deliberately thinking something Godly.  One male pastor stated that he prays for that woman's salvation as well. 

As believers, it is important to understand that each of those immodest women have eternal souls, and are probably dressing to get attention either because they are very insecure about themselves, because they have been trained from a young age to believe that her body is what makes her valuable, or are actually an instrument of Satan to get you to stumble. 

A man who truly desires to not fall into this potential affair-laden (again, either physical or mental) trap will be willing to go to extreme measures to ensure that he doesn't, even if like Joseph of the Bible you have to FLEE.  Sometimes this is actually the wisest option.  And this, men, is how you can begin to rejuvenate and protect yourself and your marriage from destruction.  Because the lust game may be temporarily pleasurable, but it never ends well.  Like never.

And if you end up with the person you lusted after and dabbled with, guess what?  They are imperfect humans too, and they will age, get wrinkles, warts, moles, gain weight, get gray hair, or be extremely hateful, jealous, money hungry, or angry.  Then you will have to move on to your next "perfectly sexy" person, and the cycle will never end, and your soul will never be satisfied.  Because sex outside of the sanctity of marriage is just that - an empty, fleeting pleasure that will not leave you satisfied.

If you would never have an actual, physical affair, but you don't mind indulging your flesh by feasting on the tempting images around you, be they real people or digital images, you are still violating the trust your wife should be able to have in you, whether she ever knows about it or not. 

Just as a person can say "no, thanks" to something offered to them that he doesn't need or want, you can say a resounding "NO!" to giving in to lust and becoming just another typical perpetually- aroused male, knowing that there is a greater reward to a cleansed mind focused SOLELY on your wife.  You will be surprised just how desirable and attractive she becomes when you commit to being a one-woman man, in thought and deed.

This is a message many women want their men to hear.  Our hearts cry out for you to desire us only.  We don't want to believe the lie that "men will be men."  Because we know that it really is a lie, and a very convenient excuse for men to do what they want.

You may not know any men who are obedient in this area, so you may think it simply isn't possible.  There are men like this, because we know some, and I am married to one.  He wasn't always that way, but he has become obedient to God in that area.  It can be done, if you are willing to begin the process of self-discipline, denying your flesh, and placing purposeful hedges around yourself by not allowing yourself access to areas that cause you to stumble.

Know your weaknesses and avoid troublesome habits, places, or people that bring out those weaknesses.  If Facebook causes you to stumble, only Facebook around your wife or stop Facebooking.  Same strategy applies to everything else that tempts you the most.  Jesus told us to be SEVERE in our strategies to rein in our flesh and sin.

You can be the reason your marriage survives rather than fails.  The heart and trust of a wife is worth far more than any fleeting pleasure.  Start your walk of obedience in these areas today.  Your mind will thank you.  Your soul will thank you.  Your wife will thank you and she will rejoice in a man that has eyes for her only, and will love you unguardedly in return. 

Please share this with someone who needs it.

Blessings on you and your marriage,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs

Saturday on the Homestead: April 26, 2014

Good morning!  I find it utterly amazing that this is the last Saturday in April!  My oldest daughter is going to turn 23 in a little over a week!  I think someone sped up the rotation of the Earth, as time seems to just fly by these days.  Gone are the days wishing time away like I did when I was younger.  Every moment is precious now, and I want to use them all wisely.

Jeff had to work very early today, so we stayed the night at my mother's house last night.  This has a two-fold blessing:  one, I am available to help my sister with my parents or the house, and two, Jeff is only 10-15 minutes from work instead of 45.  We have some errands to run when he gets off work, including a Lowe's run for some sealant for our greenhouse roof.  As often is the case, we may stop for a wee date while we are out.  We do cherish our time together.  He is a hard-working man, and he deserves a wife who gives him undivided attention and care.

Our goals for the weekend once we get home are to get some more of the garden hand-tilled and planted.  I did manage to get a few tomato plants in before it rained a couple of days ago.  I am determined to make do with what we have started from seed this year, not spending any extra on store bought plants.  Hopefully this will show us any adjustments we need to make in our seed starting next year.

We have 21 two-week-old chicks that we incubated and hatched ourselves.  They are cute little fluff balls, but I am ready for them to be out of my living room.  We have 25 meat chickens in the extra part of our chicken coop, and this along with the still-cool nights have kept the chicks in the house for now.  It is a means to an end, so I tolerate it for now.  Jessie does a superb job taking care of them, which helps.

Once I have the greenhouse completely painted and caulked (I may have been avoiding it for the last week or so because of all the bees), we are going to tackle our cellar.  It has a dirt floor, a partial wall of shelves, and not much else but a bunch of junk.  My goal is to clean it all out, have Josh haul gravel to cover the floor, install shop lighting, and eventually put an access stair into the house.  That part will have to come later when we have more time.  I am looking forward to it being more clean and organized and less creepy.

I have some pictures of my garden to post, but my laptop is not cooperating for some reason.  I guess I will share them another time.

We plan on having a family-filled, hard-working weekend, and I hope you all do too!

Blessings,
Debbie

Practical and frugal uses for two common "weeds"

In my quest to become more natural and at the same time more frugal, I have been making a homemade plantain tincture for a facial astringent for several years now.  This is the first year to try and make enough to last until next spring.  Other than the apple cider vinegar to steep the plantain leaves in, the cleaner is free!  Not only free, but extraordinarily effective and just as importantly, TOXIN FREE! 

If you want to save money and also become more natural and eliminate some poisons from your lifestyle, you can make this too.  It isn't difficult at all.  It is best to use raw apple cider vinegar, like the Bragg's brand from the organic section at Kroger, but I have used and still use regular store bought ACV as well.  If you make your own ACV, it is best not to use it for tinctures because the acidity isn't stable or guaranteed with each batch. 

This is what plantain looks like:

I use a quart jar, wash and cut the leaves at least in half before putting them in the jar so the medicinal properties can be released more readily.  Then cover with apple cider vinegar.  This time, I actually added a little tincture grade vodka to top the jars off, which just aids in getting all of the good stuff out of the leaves.  Most commercial astringents also have alcohol in them. 

Shake daily, and let sit at least a few weeks, up to about 6 weeks.  Strain, and store in a bottle or jar of your choice.  It can be kind of strong, so last year I started diluting it with water by half.  We use with both cotton balls and homemade facial cloths.


The second tincture I have been making this spring, inspired by my daughter, is soaking dandelion flowers and leaves in vinegar, along with dried basil, for our salads.  We switched from commercial salad dressings to using olive oil and vinegar most of the time, along with homemade healthy ranch. 

I have three jars of dandelions soaking so far, but I wish I had remembered to start sooner, so I would have gotten more flowers before they seeded out.  Our vinegar will have even more healthy benefits with the added nutrients from the dandelions!  No man made supplement or product can compare to using what you can find in nature provided by God.

Other the being healthier, one of the best things about these two tinctures are that they are practically free to make.  The money saved can be put towards something else that we need that I can't or don't yet make myself.

Try it!  You can do it too!!

Blessings,
Debbie, Home at Serenity Springs (facebook)